"'If you can'?"

For the last week I've been having a struggle with my faith about our adoption. I'm not worried it won't happen, but I haven't been believing that God would bring our boys home any sooner than my expected timeframe (which is based off of my knowledge).

For the last few days the story about the healing of a boy with an evil spirit has been coming to mind, specifically the part where boy's father says, "If you can do anything..." I had progressed to a point where I would say things like, "If the boys come home in August." The protective wall was still in place to some extent. Yesterday morning as I read the whole story (Mark 9:14-29) I felt as though God was saying that I needed faith like a child to believe like I want to believe. So my question was, "How do I get that kind of faith?" And then I realized that I know too much. I know how long each step should take and I know how fast or slowly others are making it through the steps. I know all of this because I was subscribed to a number of online forums and I had a number of blogs that I checked daily, or even more often. God gave me a choice yesterday morning. I could go on with all my knowledge or I could keep my eyes on only Him. So, yesterday morning I unsubscribed from all the groups but my orphanage specific group (which, by the way, is set up to not share information about where we are all at in the process) and I deleted all the blogs out of my list of favorites except for the families that I know from our orphanage. I don't want to be in the know anymore. I want to keep my eyes on Jesus, knowing that He can do anything. I want faith like a child. I want Jesus to help me overcome my unbelief.

I know that I'm not the only person adopting from Haiti who has gone gotten so wrapped up in knowledge. I feel like there is someone who reads this blog who checks the forums and the blogs and does google searches. Please join me in trusting God and having faith that He can do anything despite what all the information out there says. I feel so much freedom now that I've decided to trust God and not rely on knowledge. I have more hope and a lot more time now that I'm not tied to the computer. And it's only been 23 hours!

Last night we went to a BBQ at the home of some friends who moved away last year. Away is only 35 minutes, but we don't see them nearly enough. They are wonderful people and I just tear up when I think about them because they are such a blessing to us. Well, they had some friends over from their new church and we got to sit and talk with them. It was such an uplifting night. They felt that the Lord was telling them things to tell us, so they told us. Chuck and I were so encouraged and blessed. I have to wonder if that could have happened if I hadn't been obedient to God yesterday morning. And I want to say that I don't think God would have said, "Oh, nevermind, she wasn't obedient so she doesn't get to have this experience." I think it would have been more like I wouldn't have let the experience happen or God couldn't let the experience happen.

I will go off on a tangent for a minute because I have an understanding of God that I want to share. I'm not a parent yet (some will argue that, but the boys don't live here yet) but I know that a lot of times parents will want to do something really nice for their kids. So, for example, say that you tell your kids that you will go and get icecream, but they are going to have to behave while at the park. At the park your kids behave terribly and they know they are behaving terribly, yet continue to do so. Now, the right thing to do is to not get the icecream. And I know some of you are saying, "Juli, sometimes you get them the icecream." And I'm saying, "No, you don't." Consequences are a real part of life and as parents it is our duty to teach that. Not in a mean, spiteful way, but in love. (I believe that it's important to teach kids about grace, too, but I believe there are better scenarios in which to do so.) There may even be times where you don't tell them about the icecream ahead of time, but you plan to take them for icecream after the park. Then, they misbehave and you decide against the icecream. They never even knew it was a possibility. So, they made choices that kept them from receiving a blessing from you. In that same way, I think that we make choices in life that put God into a position where He has to withhold blessings. And I think it breaks His heart. He loves us more than we can begin to fathom. The love that we have for our kids is just a fragment of the love that He feels for us. And He wants to bless us. But, being the perfect parent that He is, there are times when He knows it is best not to bless us because of the choices we make. And I repeat, it breaks His heart.

I'm not expecting blessings because I did the right thing yesterday morning. But, I do think that I've put myself in a better place to receive them. I also think that my faith will grow as a result of my obedience yesterday.

I'll end this post with the July pictures of the boys:

Smiley Samuel

Samuel with his, "Whatchu talking about Willis" look.

Noah posing for his picture, but forgetting to smile.

Noah, looking like he'd like to get his hands on the camera.

Another Dream

I woke up this morning from another wonderful adoption dream, only this time it was our turn! In this dream I was in Haiti. The boys were there and they were so much bigger and were not so much like babies. I was walking with them, one on each hip, and I was explaining to them that I was their mommy and that very soon they would be coming to live in our home. As I was walking and talking with them Linda, the Director of our Orphanage, came up with some wonderful news - that we had moved on to the next step in the process (which is called 2nd Legalization). I was thrilled! So once again, I'm starting my day with a sense of joy and hope about our adoption. Thanks God!!

Harder Than I Thought

Well, this new faith thing has been harder than I thought it would be. I'm still neurotic about checking my email for adoption process updates. My thinking is all jumbled whenever I think about our adoption, I think, because I'm afraid I'll slip back into practicality.

I did have a faith "win" this morning. My mom called to tell me that Target has 90% off on their 4th of July stuff, which includes some clothing. She was wanting to know if she could buy a bunch of clothes to donate to the orphanage. Usually I'd say yes because when we go to pick up the boys we won't be staying in Haiti (we will probably fly in and out on the same day) so we can take a ton of donations into Haiti and just leave it all there. Well, this morning I said, "If the boys come home in August we won't be able to take as many donations in because I have to pack a lot of stuff for the trip." Then we talked about how it would all work out - like if I would fly home with the boys by myself since Chuck won't be on the trip with me. The answer, in case you are wondering, is no way. Chuck would have to fly to Haiti and then fly home with us. He wouldn't miss that for the world!

I seem to do best when I'm kept REALLY busy. So hopefully I can stay really busy until I go to Haiti.

A Dream and New Faith

I had a wonderful dream on Saturday night. I must start off by saying that I almost never dream about our boys or our adoption process. Actually, I hardly ever dream.

In my dream I was in this great big room in Haiti, probably as big as a large gymnasium. There were tons of people - white and black, adults and kids. In this room appointments were happening that were making it possible for kids to go home to their forever families. It was loud and chaotic, but everyone was happily waiting to be called. There was happiness in the room because all the Haitian kids were very close to going home. Their American families were there with them. I watched as one family got called. They were adopting two Haitian kids. I began to cry so hard when they got called because I knew that meant they were very close to going home. Pictures of the Haitian kids were taken for their passports so that the passports could be made. Then they waited to get their passports.

In my dream I knew that it wasn't our turn. In fact, Chuck and the boys weren't there. It was like I was getting to watch it all happen. I wasn't upset at all that it wasn't our turn. I was just so thrilled to see that these kids were finally getting to go home.

I woke up with so much hope. If you know me well, you know that I wake up cranky. Not yesterday morning. I woke up very peaceful and thankful. God doesn't use dreams as an avenue to speak to me, so I'm not counting on my dream to predict anything. But, I believe that it was God's peace I woke up feeling yesterday.

My mom says that she's believing that our boys are coming home in August. From an adoption process perspective, that is absurd. But, I totally appreciate her faith. She has decided to fast from coffee until her grandson's are home and she's trusting God to honor that fast.

I've built this wall of protection around my heart because I really believed our boys would be home months ago. Because of that wall of protection I no longer pray for a specific month or hope that they'll be here for certain occasions. In fact, when people say, "When do you think they'll come home?" I won't even give a general timeframe answer anymore because it hurts too much when the proposed month passes. So, I guess my faith in all of this has given way to practicality and I don't believe our God is a practical God. I say that because of all the added bonuses He's included in life.

I sat outside last night and watched the fireflies (or lightning bugs) in my sister's backyard. God created a bug that lights up for a second or so as it flies around. Now is that practical? No, it's one of God's added bonuses. It's something special He made just for us. Can God bring our boys home next month? Absolutely! He could get them here today if He wanted to. So why do I doubt that He could get them here next month? The answer is easy: Because if that's not His will and I hope that it is I will be hurt. Again.

And this is the question that I come to this morning: Is faith in God's awesome ability to do whatever the heck He wants worth a little pain on my part? I have to answer yes. How could I not? Now I just need to put it into practice and luckily I have His strength within me to do just that. So as of today I will begin asking God to bring our boys home next month. I will kick down the wall around my heart and ask God for the unpractical, believing with all my heart that He can do it.

Sorry for rambling. I guess I needed to type all of that to get to this new place of faith.

Great News, But...

This morning we received the email that we've been waiting nearly 8 weeks for. We have received Judgment, which means that our boys now carry our last name! They are ours in the eyes of Haiti! The "but" part of this is that our dossier (adoption paperwork) wasn't released. It is being held "for review" by the office that had it for the 15 weeks prior to the last 8 weeks. Hello, didn't they have 15 WEEKS to review it??

Chuck and I are cautious to celebrate this step because our paperwork is still stuck. I truly believe this is a spiritual battle. And we're ready to fight with prayers to our Father in Heaven. And we'd like to ask you to join us. Chuck and I plan to fast on Thursday over this situation. If you feel led to, we'd love for you to join us in this fast. We know that God honors fasting. If you want to fast, but can't not eat, I'd suggest fasting from something you really enjoy for the day - like sodas or music or TV. Please join us in crying out to our Father for our boys in Haiti. Please pray that our paperwork can be released from this step so that we can move on to the next steps. Please pray that we'd experience shorter timeframes in the remaining steps. Once we are released, the absolute shortest timeframe we have to bring our boys home is 4 months. If we were released tomorrow, that would have them coming home at the beginning of November. They turn two on November 9th and we want them home for their birthday. Bringing them home after that gets really expensive because we will have to purchase them airline seats once they are two.

Thanks in advance for your prayers. They are what makes the difference!

Unexpected Trip

Thanks to Spirit Airlines and their wonderful "Penny Flights" I will be traveling to Haiti in August for just 5 days to see the boys! I cannot wait! Earlier this week our orphanage released dates for upcoming mission trips. My heart ached to go. I know that going to see the boys shouldn't come down to money, but it came down to money. I couldn't see spending all that money again. But, God is good and with some flight vouchers and my penny flight I'll probably fly for $100. The hotel we stay at is offering a super reduced rate for staying in their conference room. Those are the two BIG expenses and they will be quite minimal. Now I 'll only need to pay my mission trip fee and meals and tips! God is so good!

June Pictures!

Samuel Eli

Noah Elise

Here are the pictures we got this week of our handsome boys. I'm so excited that they are both smiling! I've included their middle names for two reasons. First, they are answering to the exact opposite names that they were being called in July of last year. Samuel was always Elise to us, but he answers to Eli. And Noah was Eli, but he answers to Elise. Also, we learned of the correct spelling of their names. We were wrongly adding an "e" to each name. So, now that we got it all straightened out we thought we'd share it with you.

Be Still, My Soul

Be still, my soul. Those are the words God gave me yesterday when I got quiet. I've gone back to checking my email constantly in hopes of adoption news. It's quite neurotic. When I wake up in the morning, if I don't think to check my email immediately I'm surprised at myself. As I prayed for our dossier to move yesterday morning those words came to me, and they are such a comfort from God.

I'm babysitting for a friend this week. I'll have her 2 year old son for 4 days and 4 nights. Since I have cribs, I went ahead and really organized the boys' room today so that I can put Sawyer into one of the cribs. This meant putting lots of things away as well as sorting through the clothes that are now too small for the boys. I hate that. Giving away clothes they never got to wear. Clothes that I looked at months ago and imagined my boys in. I never actually cried as I was in there cleaning, but I sure felt like it. At one point I stopped so that I could get a CD player and some worship music to lift my spirits. It did help. Thanks, Matthew West!

Oh, be still, my soul. As I wait I will repeat these words. They help me to know Who is in charge. It's been a bummer of a day, but God is still in charge. And tomorrow I will be far too busy with a two year old to dwell on the fact that my boys are still in Haiti.

Twin Girls Update

I've posted about these twin girls in Haiti a few times. They were incredibly malnourished just a few months ago and they are getting bigger. Here are some comments from the missionaries providing formula for them:

The twins came for a weigh-in today. They are up over 7lbs now and starting to
have cheeks. We could not be more pleased with their progress and are so
thankful to God for protecting them during those scary first few weeks, when you
think about what sort of treatment a 3 or 4 lb baby would get in the USA and
what these twins ended up getting, you're even MORE aware of God's Hand and the
miracles that happen all the time here. Keep praying for growth and good health
for these lovely little ladies.

Thank you to those of you who prayed for these girls. They are still only the size of newborns, but they are gaining weight and getting good care.

Thoughts as I Wait

I believe in the power of prayer. I don't think God needs us to pray. But He wants us to pray. He knows all about what's going on before I ask. And He can act on things without me ever asking and sometimes, actually a lot of times, He does. But I really think at least a part of why He wants us to bring everything to Him in prayer is because He wants to be involved in every single part of our lives. And He is, but if we aren't asking Him to be a part of every single thing, we slip into forgetting that He's there. At least I do.

God knows all about our adoption. He knows more than anyone else. He knows that we spent an obscene amount of time in the Prosecutor's office and He allowed it. He considered it and He allowed it. He knows we are waiting to hear that we have Judgement and that the boys now have our last name. He knows we've been waiting 6 weeks to hear that. He also knows that I know that this is supposedly a 2-4 week step. God is in control of ALL things. Even when it doesn't seem like anyone is in control. God is in control. And sometimes He allows things that seem unfair to happen. But God deeply considers these things before He allows them. And He decided that the GOOD that He can do through and because of them is worth the grief of them. I believe that with all my heart. Our God is in control and is so completely good.

Do you know what else God knows? He knows the exact moment we will get Judgement. He also knows and looks forward to the moment that I'll open the email that says we have Judgment and have moved on to the next step. God can't wait to see my face as I open that email.

He also knows the exact day the boys will come home. I can wish and hope and pray, but God knows. And He's considered the wait. He considered it and came to the conclusion that He could do more good than Satan can do bad with our wait. Our God is an amazing God.

We were at the home of some old friends yesterday and our friend asked his 4 year old son what Jesus does. Colin quickly said, "He turns the bad guys into good guys." Yes, our God turns the bad guys into good guys. Our finite minds would have our super hero God overcome the bad guys. But no, our amazing God turns the bad guys into good guys. One bad guy at a time. He rejoiced the day he turned this bad guy (or gal) into a good guy. He rejoices for each bad guy turned good. And the angels in Heaven have a party on our behalf. Yes, our God is indeed amazing.

I have a choice as I wait for our boys to come home. I can wallow in self pity as I wait or I can get angry or I can decide God forgot about our adoption. Or I can praise the God who created those boys. The God who considers deeply the things that happen to us. The God who turns the bad guys into good guys. I don't always choose right, but today I choose to sing love songs to my Father in Heaven and thank Him and trust in Him and His perfect will for my life.

More Pictures

Happy Samuel

Noah looking at our pictures.
We've left books with the boys to remind them of who we are.


Sweet Noah.

Mommy and Samuel on the first day we got there.

Daddy and Samuel.

The truck behind them is what we all cruised around in.

Sorry for the Delay...Pictures!

Our last night together

Noah

Samuel

Samuel with a swimmy on his head. I put it there.

Samuel with my dirty underwear on his head. He put them there.

I love this picture of Noah! He looks like such a flirt.

This is an awesome picture of Samuel smiling.

The boys LOVED tv. Chuck introduced them to it.

They would both beat their hands on the tv when it was off.

Samuel just couldn't hang.

He slept like this all through dinner.

Noah was wide eyed and loving all the attention he got.

At the kiddee pool.

Samuel in his pj's.

We are Home

We are home after traveling for over 24 hours. Somehow we missed our flight home last night even though we were right in the waiting area. So, we flew to Dallas, slept on the floor for 5 hours and got home today at 10:40 a.m. I will be contacting American Airlines to see if they would like to make things up to us. If not, we will be flying Spirit Airlines into Haiti from now on.

I've done nearly all our laundry and I have almost everything put away. Hopefully I'll get some time this weekend to go through the pictures and get more posted.

Saying goodbye is so hard. We opted this time for the drop and run method. The last two times we've taken pictures and cried. Not this time. We handed them to the nannies and left the room to sob.

Thank you for all your prayers. It was quite an eventful trip and we are very thankful to be home.

Hello from Miami

This is just a quick post to share that we are in Miami. We will get into Norfolk at 11 p.m. tonight. Thanks for all your prayers while we were in Haiti!

Pictures!

Trying to Post Pictures...

Our internet connection is not so good right now, so if I don't post pictures tonight, it's because I couldn't.

Paperwork is Filed and Answered Prayer

I've posted a few times asking for prayer for a man named Pierre. He is the manager at the orphanage as well as a pastor and is just a wonderful man of God. He loves all the kids as if they are his own. Last Tuesday he was arrested because of a problem with the security company that the orphanage uses. He was jailed because the owner of the company wouldn't present himself to the police. We've been praying and praying and praying for things to get worked out for Pierre. The jails are atrocious here and he was there for a crime that wasn't his own. Well, today we saw a party like no other when Pierre was released and came to the orphanage. We sang and danced and thanked God for His goodness. Thank you for the prayers you said on behalf of Pierre. He had a very rough week, but God saw him through it all. A friend of mine just shared with me that while Pierre was in jail he led 27 people to the Lord. I guess God had good reason to allow him to stay there for 6 long days.

Thank you all for your prayers for our paperwork. We were able to file our I-600 today in Port-au-Prince. It is such a relief to have that filed in Haiti rather than doing it in the US. Our trip went flawlessly and we didn't even have to wait the expected long wait time. We have been so blessed on this trip with safe transportation.

And thank you to those of you leaving comments. We look forward to reading them. It's beginning to feel like we've been gone a long time, so reading comments from friends and family makes it seem like we aren't so far away.

Tomorrow is an excursion day, so we don't have the boys tonight. It was hard to not bring them back here tonight, but we will get to enjoy some grown up time and we won't wake up in the middle of the night to crying or poop, so that will be nice! We're looking forward to being outside the confines of our hotel or the orphanage for the day. We love to see as much of the country as we can while we are here.

Since we don't have the boys tonight there's a good chance that we can post some pictures tonight. I'll try to get those up after dinner (in case you're wondering what time zone we are in, we are in Central because Haiti doesn't do daylight savings). We eat dinner usually between 6:30 and 8, so it might be late before I get those pictures up.

Thanks again for praying us through a safe day! Love, Chuck and Juli

Hi From Haiti

Wow, time flies when you have twins! I'm sorry it's been 3 days since my last post. First, I want to thank everyone leaving comments. I don't have the time to answer them individually, but I have enjoyed reading them and I thank you all for your prayers.

Friday we worked at the orphanage and then brought the boys back to the hotel with us. Chuck has been placed in a leadership position with our team (are you surprised? I'm not!) that has pulled him away in many directions over the course of the last week. I ended up crying my eyes out Friday night about it because I felt like he wasn't getting time with the boys and I was overloaded with trying to lug two BIG boys up stairs for meals when Chuck was out doing team stuff. Plus, they wanted nothing to do with him if I was nearby. So, Saturday we stayed back at the hotel all day and hung out as a family. It was wonderful and Chuck got lots of good bonding time with the boys. We rested and played and just had fun. Today we went back to work at the orphanage. Chuck got the wonderful idea that he wanted to minister to the nannies and staff by washing their feet. So that's what he did today. It was incredible to watch. I'm just so proud of him. His back is sore, so please pray that he wakes up tomorrow rested. Speaking of tomorrow - we are again going to try to get to the Embassy to file some paperwork. A lot has to come together tomorrow for us to get there, so please pray that we can file that paperwork if it's God's will. Time on this trip is starting to run out and we really want to file this paperwork here in Haiti rather than in the US.

Finally, please continue to pray for Pierre. God knows his situation and tomorrow is supposed to be a good day for him. Please pray that it is.

We continue to be safe on this trip. God has been good to us. There is a lot of police and UN presence. We also have a number of ex military people with us who remain on guard.

I'm sorry I don't have pictures to post tonight. I forgot the camera in our room. It may not be until we're home that I'm able to post more pictures.

Thanks for all your love and prayers. I don't know how we are going to leave this country on Thursday without our boys. I just can't picture life without them.

We'll post again as soon as we can. Love, Chuck and Juli

Quick Update

Sorry it's been a few days since we've posted, but two babies make it hard to get online! We only get internet in the restaurant of the hotel and two babies in a restaurant equals lots of work. We left them in the orphanage tonight because I may have strep throat and we want to give the antibiotics a chance to get working before bringing them back to the hotel.

We have not gone to the Embassy yet to file our paperwork. There was a change in plans the day we were to go and I'm not sure what day we will go.

I need to ask for prayer and I can't give a lot of details because this blog is open to the public. We are safe, but I need you to pray for safety for our team. We believe strongly in spiritual warfare, and I guess we are doing some good work for God down here because there's been a lot of spiritual attack. I repeat - we are safe, so please don't worry about us. Please pray, especially for a man named Pierre. God knows his situation, so please lift him up to the Lord. We'll post again when we can.

Lots of love, Chuck and Juli

Our Family

They are so big! Initially they wanted NOTHING to do with us when we arrived at the orphanage. They cried and cried and cried. This is a good thing, though. It means that they won't go to any old stranger, which means that they don't have severe bonding issues. If they did they would go to anyone who reached for them. So, we had a rough start but we won them over with food and toys. They are SO SMART. Both of them are mimicing everything we do and say. They have successfully said Mama, Daddy, and Duck and knew what they were saying. They slept all through the night last night, and so did Chuck. I did not. I heard every move they made in their sleep. They didn't wake up until after 6 a.m. Today we met with their birth father. He ended our time together by sharing that we are like family to him. That was special. We did lots of work at the orphanage today. I left early and brought an older child, Monicia, back to the hotel to swim. We don't have our boys with us tonight because we are going to the Embassy tomorrow to file some paperwork. Prayers for safety while we are out in town tomorrow would be appreciated. We'll post more when we can. Thanks for praying for us!

Luggage for Haiti

Here's a picture of our luggage for Haiti. We DID NOT have to pay for extra weight, praise the Lord! And better yet, every piece made it undamaged. Yeah God!!

On Our Way...

Well, in 10 and 1/2 hours we will be in Miami, half way to Haiti. Well, more than half way, but half way through our flights. We will spend the day in Miami, hopefully sleeping since we won't be doing much of that tonight. Please pray that the hotel lets us check in early. That would be such a blessing. While you're praying, could you also pray that none of our luggage is overweight. It's all right at 50lbs on our home scale. We just need the home scale and the airport luggage scales to match. Our flight Sunday morning leaves at 10:25 a.m. and we get into Haiti at 11:20 a.m. We are so close to being with our boys we can barely stand it!!

We will post as often as we can while in Haiti. If we can upload pictures we will. We covet your prayers while we're there.

There's really no way the boys are coming home on this trip unless God does a great big miracle. I'm not even asking Him to because our house is a wreck right now and in no condition for the boys. Their cribs are full of stuff and our bathroom renovations (yes, they are still happening) will be ongoing while we are out of town, so all the bathroom stuff is in the boys' room. So, please don't expect them to come home on this trip. We are OK with that. We've waited this long, and we're getting kind of good at it, so we can wait a few more months. Well, probably 4 more months. And that's just a guess. An informed guess, but definitely a guess.

Okay, that's all for now. Hopefully the next post you read will be from Haiti!!

Big Love, Chuck and Juli

Down to One Hand

Yes, that is correct. We will be in Haiti in 5 days. We will leave here in 4. I'm pretty much packed, just last minute things at this point. If you see me over the next 4 days and wonder why I keep wearing the same things over and over it's because everything else is packed. I'm praying, and you can join me, that our luggage all stays within the weight limits. We are right on the edge right now. Also, please pray for Chuck. He's got a lot to take care of at work before he goes on vacation. That's all for now.

Twin Girls Update

Aren't they precious! I read an update on the twin girls in Haiti this morning and some of you have asked about them, so here is a picture and what the missionaries had to say:

The twins came on Saturday. They are steadily gaining. One of them gained 13 ounces in five days. :) Thanks for praying for them.

Thank you to all who have been praying for them. It really is a miracle that they are still alive. If ever you want to read a fun, interesting blog about Americans living and serving in Haiti, check out http://livesayhaiti.blogspot.com/. It's one of my favorite blogs out there.

May Pictures

I just realized that I never posted this picture! We got it May 9th. I have never seen Noah look like this before - he looks pretty ticked off and if you click on the picture to enlarge it you will see that his eyes are glassy like he's about to cry. My guess is that he didn't want to sit down to have this picture taken. The last few months of pictures has been individual shots of the boys and I'd been thinking that maybe they couldn't get them to sit still together. Oh gosh, I can't wait to see them. They will be in our arms in 6 short days!!

Updates

Well, I went back to the Dr. yesterday because I was on my last antibiotic pill and I was concerned my infection in my thumb wasn't gone. The Dr. looked at the wound and said it looked really good. She had it x-rayed and did bloodwork (I think just to reassure me). My bloodwork came back fine and the x-ray showed no foreign bodies or inflamed joints. So, I will continue with Neosporin twice a day and pray for it to heal up by Sunday. She even told me to have fun in Haiti, so in case you're wondering, I DO have the Dr.'s blessing to go. Oh, yeah, and she didn't yell at me for my self surgery.

I will be bagging up formula from the formula drive and should have a total of how much was collected by Thursday at the latest.

Our first mission group flies into Haiti this afternoon! There are 9 adults and 10 kids traveling today. If you are reading this on Monday, please say a quick prayer for them - especially for safety. At least one of the adults is terrified of flying, so please say a special prayer for her. Thanks!

9 Days!

Well, it is 9 days until we will be in Haiti with our boys. I began packing yesterday. So far I have 20 lbs of formula packed and this Sunday I should receive more both at church and from an adoption ministry group that we belong to.

I'm a little worried about packing because I'm afraid that I want to bring FAR more than I can. I even bought plastic bins to pack in because they weigh less than suitcases. Please pray with me that God works out all the packing so that I can bring everything we need. We'll be in Haiti for 12 days, so I need a lot of stuff.

I also need to ask for prayers for my right thumb. Last year when we went to Haiti to meet our boys I got a really nasty, weird infection in my right thumb 10 days before traveling. Out of nowhere an abcess formed at the base of my nail bed. Thankfully it cleared up in time to travel to Haiti. Well, last week I got the SAME infection in the SAME thumb. This time I had 16 days before Haiti. Which is more than enough time for an antibiotic to work, right? I'm not so sure. I did surgery and broke the skin on the abcess and removed it so now I have this gross, painful open wound on my thumb. Before you yell at me I must remind you that the skin was dead and needed to come off. Since I am a control freak I decided to do surgery instead of having a Dr. do it for me. When I was 12 I successfully removed two warts from my feet, so I'm kind of good at self surgery. Anyway, I'm digressing. The problem is not only the open wound. I still have pain throughout my thumb, including my joint at my hand. I'm not convinced that 7 days of antibiotics have made much difference. I finish them up on Sunday, so if I'm still in the same shape I will go back to the Dr. on Monday; hopefully for some IV antibiotics. Anyway, long story short, please pray that my thumb gets better. It would be unwise to travel to Haiti with this.

The first group from our mission team begins to travel this Sunday. They will arrive in Haiti Monday afternoon. If you'd like to pray for our group, please send me an email at ittybitties@msn.com. We have an hourly prayer calendar that spans 5/20 - 6/8. If you'd like to sign up for any hour time slots, just email me the dates and times you'd like to pray for our team. There are currently over 100 people traveling to Haiti on our team within that range of dates. Chuck and I fly to Miami on the 26th and arrive in Haiti on the 27th.

That's all for now.

Praise the Lord!!

I received an email this morning telling me that our dossier (adoption paperwork) has the Prosecutor's approval! Woohoo! That is wonderful news. Our dossier has been stuck there for 3 1/2 months. I was truly beginning to go crazy, but God has answered my prayers. Yeah God!

Twin Girls Update

The twins from the last post have really made a huge impression on me. I emailed the nurse for an update on them, but then found an update on another blog (a family doing mission work in Haiti). I learned the following by reading a post from April 19th:

These twins were born about twelve days ago. They were brought here by two of their aunts. Their mother was sick during the pregnancy and too weak to come down from their home in the mountains. Someone was supposed to bring her down on horseback today to find help and go to a medical clinic. According to the family, they don't think she will live. The twins are named Micailine and Micailda.

There was a new post on their blog today:

The twins were here yesterday. They were in a hospital for 11 days. They do not weigh any more than the first time Troy saw them. I am concerned, I don't see how they can make it without round the clock professional care. Troy did what he could, but we're discouraged that the hospital did not keep them longer. The family keeps telling us the mom is not all there (mentally ill) and that they plan to raise the twins. They don't seem to get how fragile the situation is. They came without any bottles and were unprepared to deal with the babies when they started crying. I have no idea how to convince them that if they want these babies to live they need to take it all more seriously. Keep these tiny little girls in your prayers.

These two little girls just break my heart. I'm sure it is because we are adopting twins. I was just telling someone recently how God breaks peoples' hearts over different things. He has definitely broken my heart over starving babies in Haiti. I just find it so hard to believe that I can live in this country of plenty, dieting because I get too much to eat, and these babies and millions more around the world die each year from starvation. It makes no sense to me.

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. We've had no new news to share about the adoption. We do, however, arrive in Haiti in 24 days. It's just about time to bust out the suitcases!

Reality Check

I pulled this photo off of the blog of a nurse in Haiti. My thoat has a lump in it and I'm hard pressed for words. These are twin baby girls who both way just over 3 lbs. They weren't just born; they're belly buttons are completely healed.

In case you wonder how serious the poverty is in Haiti, here's a real look at it. This is real. Real babies that are literally starving to death.

When our boys' mother passed away, they thankfully made it to an orphanage that could provide formula for them. I don't know the story of these girls, but they are someone's children.

God, please help these little ones tonight. Please get them the care and love that they need. Please keep my heart broken and my hands open. Please never let me forget the picture of these little ones. Amen.

8 Years

Wowsers. Chuck and I have been married 8 years today. In some respects I'm not sure where the time has gone, but in other respects it's been a long time. We've had more than our share of ups and downs, but we've had God in our marriage for 6 of those 8 years, and that has made all the difference. In 8 years I've lived in 7 homes in 6 cities, and 3 states. We have been blessed beyond measure and continue to be.

We will celebrate these 8 years by eating Chicken Enchiladas (Chuck's new favorite dish) at home while watching two episodes of Lost (gotta love Tivo!). Our cats will snuggle with us and we will think about our boys in Haiti. This will be the last anniversary we celebrate without our boys.

Thank you to everyone who has been an encouragement to our marriage. We strongly believe in the bond of marriage set forth in the Bible. 4 years ago we were on the verge of divorce and an awesome Christian marriage counselor helped us out. Thank you, Kevin Coward, for accepting God's call on your life. We can't celebrate an anniversary without thinking of you and thanking you.

April Pictures

Samuel

Noah

They are getting so big!

Answered Prayer!!

Chuck and I arrived home about an hour ago and I found an answer to prayer in our mail. We got a letter from the Department of Homeland Security giving us a date to come in and be re-fingerprinted. We made our request to be re-fingerprinted much earlier than we should have due to the timing of our trip to Haiti. Thankfully, DHS had grace with us and we will be re-fingerprinted on May 24th. Thanks for your prayers!

While I'm so thankful to share this, I wish I was sharing that our files were signed out of the Prosecutor's office. Please keep praying for that. It doesn't look like there was any movement there this week.

Today I've been plagued with thoughts about all the things that could go wrong with our adoption (biggest fear is that it will fail). I don't like to ask for prayer for myself, but I need it. I want to give those thoughts to God because I can't handle them. Being away this week really helped keep my mind off the adoption. But, as soon as I was on the plane my mind centered on the adoption again.

Our flight home tonight arrived at 11:05 p.m. and a family that we know through an adoption ministry group was welcoming their son home tonight. So, we got some Starbucks (That would be why I'm still wide awake at 2:30 a.m. Gotta love the Carmel Frappacino!) and waited for Janie and Nian to arrive. They got in at about 12:30 a.m. Nian is their 4th child, and 2nd child from China. It was so much fun to see him playing with the Welcome Home helium balloons. I dream about that day for us.

Well, that's all for now. I'm going to try to go to sleep!! It's only 43 days until Haiti!!

Happy Easter

Happy Easter. I often pray that God will continue to move the reality of what Jesus did for me (and you!) deeper into my heart so that I can love Him more. I believe He did some of that for me today. I pray that all who read this pause for a moment and know that Jesus loves you so much that He died on a cross for you and on the third day, He rose from the dead to be our King of all Kings for all eternity.

Chuck and I are headed to Nashville tomorrow through Friday for a church planter equipping lab. What on earth is that you ask? It's a conference where they will teach us just about everything we need to know to start a church. Chuck is very excited. I'm trying to be. Last year we went through a stringent assessment by this same group of people and it was very close to torture. I'm praying this week will be very different than what we experienced last year. :) They are good people, really!

Please join us in prayer this week for our adoption process. I believe so deeply in the power of prayer. I believe just as deeply that we have an adversary named Satan who wants nothing but destruction for us on a daily basis. We ask that you join us in praying that our files be released from the Prosecutor's Office this very week. Please help us pray them out!

One last thought: 49 days until we are with the boys in Haiti!!

T.G.I.F.

Thank God it's Friday! Good Friday, in fact. Because of the holiday this week in Haiti we won't get any news. I'm thankful that beginning on Monday Haiti should be back in full swing working so that hopefully - prayerfully - just maybe we can get some news. No promises, but at least it will be a possibility. It gets so much harder to wait as we get closer to the end. I'm so thankful that I haven't been like this the entire time! Today is 51 days until we are snuggling the boys! It is also my brother's 40th birthday. Happy Birthday, Shawn!!

Holy Week

In Haiti they really know how to celebrate the holidays - they close down! This week is Holy Week in Haiti. The office where our paperwork is at will be closed all week.

I was so very sure that we would get news last week, but we didn't. So yes, once again my heart got stomped on. Many families from our orphanage did get news - 16 files were released from the Prosecutor's Office. I'm very happy to see such movement out of that office and so excited for those families! I'm also quite bummed that we weren't part of it. But, God has a plan in this. It's all in His time.

Some ladies from our church threw me a babies shower on Saturday. It was so much fun. We were so blessed with so many needed items. Sunday morning I experienced a condition that I will call "present hangover." I guess all that unwrapping on Saturday was too much for me!

Chuck was sick on Saturday and today I am sick. Between seasonal allergies and the flu today I've been not so great lately. Hopefully tomorrow the Claritin will have kicked in and the flu will be gone. I'd like to get out and go a few places tomorrow. Plus we have gift cards with which we have a few final items we need to get for the boys.

My final thought for this post is 55 DAYS until we are in Haiti with the boys. This is the last year the Easter Bunny won't be coming to our house!

Boring Update

Warning. This is a boring update.

Okay, you've been warned. For the past week or so, Chuck and I have been working on updating our home study, which expired on 2/24. There's a good chance we won't need to prove that it's been updated, but we'd rather not worry about it toward the end of our adoption. Peace of mind means more to us than the $250 the update will cost us. So, we both had to get updated medical and employment letters. Even though I'm no longer employed I was required to get a letter from my former employer stating that. Silly! After a few notary problems we got it all turned in, along with requests for the State Police to do another round of background checks on us.

We also submitted a request to the USCIS to be refingerprinted. Our fingerprints are due to expire the beginning of July, and since it's beginning to look like the boys will come home mid to late summer, we need to get this redone. If you think to, please pray that the USCIS office in Norfolk will have grace with us because we are requesting to be fingerprinted before we are officially supposed to. We have to do this because we'll be out of the country when we're allowed to ask. If you're wondering why we need fingerprints and refingerprints, I have no idea. I just do what they tell me to do. If they say to stand on my head for a day I'll do it if it means our boys can come home.

When we were in the beginning stages of this process I was amazed to hear of families who had to update their home studies and be refingerprinted. I never imagined that this whole process would take sooooo long that we would need to do these things, too. I thank God often that I didn't know in the beginning how long this would take. I just don't think my selfish little self would have done it.

Good News??

I have this feeling that good news will come this week.

I hesitate to write this because I could be wrong and I hate to be wrong (just ask Chuck about that!). I also like to put protective measures in place so that I don't get hurt. In this case I would not out loud (or in print) voice that I think something good could happen. That way, if it doesn't happen I'm not hurt. Well, my heart has been stomped on all through this adoption journey, so a few more stomps won't kill me.

Good news would sound like this: "Chuck and Juli, your dossier has been released from the Prosecutor's office." In case you're wondering, the "come and get them" call is still quite a ways off.

I must admit that I feel this pending good because we are getting close to the 2 month mark from when our dossier was released from IBESR. And 2+ months seems to be the timeframe for the Prosecutor's office. Some people have waited a lot longer, though.

So, we will wait and see. Your prayers would be appreciated. Good night!

Mission Trip Fundraiser

In 64 days, Chuck and I will be leaving for our mission trip to Haiti (we will actually see the boys in 65 days). Here are some of the construction projects that our team hopes to accomplish when we are there:

Building a chapel/lunch room ($2500)
Building some rooms in the front of the property ($2500)
Building benches for the birth parents ($300)
Painting ($300)
Installing tile ($50, tile already purchased)
Possibly installing windows ($?)
Organizing the office/nursery rooms ($0)
Possibly building some triple bunk beds ($?)

One of the adoptive families purchased a bunch of silicone bracelets for our mission team to sell as a fundraiser for the above projects. The bracelets come in a variety of colors and in adult and youth sizes. They read: Every child needs a home ... Celebrate ADOPTION!! We are selling these bracelets for $3 a piece and I'll have them with me at all times. If you'd like one and you won't see me anytime soon, I'd be happy to mail one to you. Just email me at ittybitties@msn.com and I'll send you one. Thank you in advance to all who help us out!

Running Babies

I was an extremely underweight child. Insert joke here. Seriously, people worried about me because I was so skinny. People didn't like me to sit on their laps because my butt was boney. I remember with clarity the day my grandmother told me that lunch is a meal you eat every day. I just didn't have much of an appetite as a child and I was picky as heck, so food just didn't really appeal to me.

When I learned to walk, I weighed something like 16 lbs. My mom says that I didn't walk, I ran. And I didn't weigh enough to stop myself so I'd have to crash to stop. She says she had foam padding everywhere.

I learned a few days ago that the boys are walking and RUNNING. I can picture it at the orphanage. It's a huge building with wide hallways and a big, big yard. I can't picture it in my house. If you've been here, you know how tiny it is. You can't run for long in this house, and there's no circular non-stop path to follow, so you have to stop and turn around very often if you want to run in this house. I guess I need to thank God for our back yard, because that is where the boys will have to run.

The whole running baby thing has definitely fueled my concern for how crazy it is going to be around here. I mean, I know it will be crazy but that doesn't stop me from having these daydreams of us quietly playing on th floor (sitting!!) together.

Quiet is another part of it that I guess I need to talk about. If you were a fly on the wall in my house you'd hear... nothing for the most part. I don't listen to the radio or turn the TV on during the day. It is very quiet here. I occasionally exchange words with the cats (they talk back, well, meow back - really they do!). I guess it surprises them when I say something. Okay, I just tested it. I just said, "Where's my baby girls?" and they both meowed. Gracie actually got up and came near me and the computer. She just jumped up on the couch next to me. Boy oh boy are these cats going to have a rude awakening when the boys come home and they become regular old pets! But I digress. My house is not going to be quiet at all when the boys come home. I know this. But somehow I think it's going to surprise me.

And I'm thinking the running and the not quiet will go hand in hand. I kind of picture them running AND yelling ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Is that what it's like mom's?? That's what I'm expecting, especially after Samuel's last picture.

Okay, that's enough rambling from me for one day. Nighty night!

67 Days and an Update

We are down to just our fingers when counting the weeks until we will be in Haiti!

Yesterday I emailed the Director of our orphanage to find out if the boys are still in the baby room or in with the toddlers. Here's what I learned:

They are still in the baby room. We have two baby rooms one for the little ones and the second for the bigger ones. They are in the second. They are walking and running. Elie has 8 teeth and Elisee 10.

So, our boys are officially 'big babies' and they walk and run. I pray nearly every day for their physical development, so the fact that they are walking is a complete answer to prayer. But, the sappy mom in me has missed another milestone in their life. Please God, bring them home soon!

There has always been a little confusion about who is who with our boys. Some of the staff call them one thing, and others call them the opposite. We've gone with what their primary nanny calls them. Noah is Elie and Samuel is Elisee. However, in the update about teeth above I'm certain that they are backward. So, Noah Elie has 10 teeth and Samuel Elisee has 8 teeth. I know this from their pictures. And in case I haven't posted before, we are keeping their Haitian names as middle names.

And when I wake up it will be 66 days!

When the Boys Are Home...

Well, I've had a number of requests to post more often, and I've been hesitant to do so because I created this blog to be specific to our adoption. And unfortunately we don't get news as often as I'm asked to post. You truly don't want to hear the ramblings in my head on a daily basis. It's not pretty a lot of the time. :)

My guess is that the boys will be 19-20 months old when they come home, so I like to try to picture what that will be like in our home. I like to picture the three of us playing on the floor in the living room on a rainy day and going to City Park with the boy/girl twins down the street on nice days. I've never been to the Norfolk Zoo, but I'm sure we will go with the boys. I picture being with them in the toddler room at church and seeing them interact with other children their age. I picture snuggling them when they'll let me and kissing booboos and changing more diapers than one could possibly imagine. I picture working very hard to insure good bonding and attachment and doing whatever we need to do to encourage their attachment to us.

So often when I talk about this I get a wide eyed look with a knowing head shake and then something about how I have no idea what I'm getting into. As a 'not so encouraging all of the time' kind of person I easily recognize this as not so encouraging. Yes, I know it's going to be crazy around here with two babies. I'm not the first person to do this and I won't be the last. I'd prefer crazy with them home to crazy with them not home (which happens!) any day.

Okay, that's all for today!

Flights are Booked

Well, it's officially real - we are going to Haiti May 27th - June 7th. That is 71 days in case you're wondering!! I had a minor freak out this afternoon when I realized that I had forgot to book our flights last night. I put flights on hold earlier in the week and the hold expired last night. Well, it's a good thing that happened because our flights were CHEAPER today. Like $85 a piece cheaper. Isn't God good??!!

Just 3 short years ago Haiti was a bad word for us. Now, there's no place I'd rather go. It's so amazing for me to think about. And really, even if the boys were already home, I still think that I'd prefer to visit Haiti rather than any other place (and I've been to Hawaii folks!). I'd live there if God would give us the go ahead.

March Pictures

Samuel


Noah

It's always a treat to get new pictures of the boys. We got these new pictures yesterday. Samuel looks like he's making a lot of noise in his picture. Uh oh, and I have him tagged as the calmer of the two. I guess we'll see about that. It's only 75 days until we see them again. We are still waiting to hear from the Coast Guard as to how long Chuck can be in Haiti. We'd like to stay in Haiti until June 7th. If you think to, please pray that the boys will be ready to come home by then.

There's Easy Waiting and There's Hard Waiting

In this journey of adoption there are days of easy waiting and days of hard waiting. I must say that most of the time the wait is on the easy side for me. For so much of it I worked, and that was a huge distraction. Now that I'm home I have lots of little projects around the house that keep me busy, but every now and then I'm just paralyzed with a hard day. Today is one of them.

I woke up this morning, but made the decision to get back into bed and stayed there for two hours with the covers pulled up over my head. My Gracie cat snuggled with me as I tried, tried, tried to fall back to sleep. Even Sabrina cat stayed at my feet and she hates for me to touch her. If you know me well, you know that I'm a professional sleeper and I usually have no trouble sleeping. Light, noise, a full night of sleep - none of that deters me from sleep. I take pride in the fact that I can sleep anytime and anywhere and for extended periods of time. But not this morning. Not in my pillow top bed with my snuggly cat and the blinds drawn tightly closed.

My sister and brother in law are expecting their first child later this month. Collette is due on the 22nd and when I asked her on Saturday how she was feeling she replied, "Like a ripe tomato ready to split!" Some days I feel exactly the same way. Only it's my heart, not my belly that feels like it could split. I don't really think it will split - no, I think that it is growing with more love for our boys. And sometimes that hurts.

I really do believe that God has a purpose in the wait and whether I get to know what that purpose is for is up to God Himself. I believe that the boys will come home in God's perfect timing. I tell people that all the time. But days like today make it hard for me to trust that. We sang an awesome song at church on Sunday called I Will Wait. It's all about waiting on God and how we can choose to praise Him during our wait and how God knows what's in our hearts before we ask and how He is our hope evermore. I cry everytime I sing it. That is the heart that I need to have in this adoption journey. That is what honors God and brings Him glory. And most of the time this song is my truth. But on days like today I have to ask God to help me make this song my truth. He will.

We're Going to Haiti in May

Yup, we are going to Haiti on a mission trip. We leave on May 27 and we'll either return on May 31st or July 7th - hopefully, prayerfully, God willing, with our boys. We'll see. We've confirmed with FHG that we will go to Haiti May 27-31. We are waiting for the Coast Guard to approve Chuck's trip. If they say he can be in Haiti longer, we will stay until June 7th. It's nearly 3 months away, but I'm totally looking forward to it.

You're probably wondering what happens if our boys come home before that. Honestly, with the way things are moving in Haiti, I don't think this will happen. But, if it does, we will change our flights and go get the boys and we will not go on the mission trip.

So, with all that said, I AM SO EXCITED. I can't wait. For anyone who wants to donate items to the orphanage, we (as in Chuck and I) are only asking for donations of formula or money to buy formula. If you'd like to purchase formula, the type needed is the Walmart brand, Parent's Choice, Soy with Lipids and DHA and ARA. Sorry to be so specific, but this is what the babies are used to and when you change formula on a baby it's not pretty (I know this because I did it in July!). Formula is the item needed the most at the orphanage, so Chuck and I would like to concentrate on this one item.

It's so ironic to think that 3 years ago the word Haiti was a bad word in our house and today there's no place I'd rather be. If God told us to pack up and move to Haiti, I'd be so excited. So far He hasn't.

Some News

Well, I emailed our adoption coordinator, Cate, this week to see where our paperwork is at. Cate is a wonderful gal who is also adopting from FHG. Her and her husband should be bringing their 3 little girls home sometime shortly before our boys come home. Anyway, the reason that I emailed her was because there was a change in the steps of the process, and I wanted to see how that affected our paperwork. I learned that our paperwork is at the Prosecutor's office. The timeframe for this step, as best as I can tell, is 2-5 months. They really scrutinize the paperwork at this stage (according to everything I've read). So, please pray that our paperwork flies through this step. We aren't sure if we received Judgement before our paperwork went to the Prosecutor. Judgement used to be the next step after IBESR, but now it comes after the Prosecutor's office and Cate is going to find out if we received Judgement before going to the Prosecutor's office (that would be cool if we did) or if we still have that to look forward to. So, that's the news. Please pray - if you are a praying person - that our paperwork moves quickly. We'd really like to bring the boys home with us when we go to Haiti at the end of May. Yes, I said we are going to Haiti in May! I'll post about that separately.

Working on the Boys' Bedroom

Well, today Chuck and I did some work on the boys' bedroom. We have hardwood floors throughout our home, so some type of rug in their room was a must. We bought one today and we are really pleased with it. It covers most of the floor in the room, and most importantly it covers below the cribs. It is my prayer that they never fall/climb/jump out of their cribs, but if they do they will have a softer fall. We also took everything out of their room and closet that wasn't for them. We'd been storing things in the closet, so they are now in our living room waiting to go to the attic or shed. I also put sheets and blankets on the trundle bed. Every little thing that we do in there gets us soooo excited for when the boys come home. A little scared, too, since we are first time parents! We are planning to head to Home Depot tomorrow after church to look at closet doors, closet organizers, and light fixtures. We also need to find some curtains and wall decorations. I realized today that the walls are pretty bare. We're getting there!

New Cribs

Back in October (October 20th) I posted about cribs that were being built for our orphanage. You see, our orphanage has more babies than it does cribs, so a wonderful group of people from our Director's church took on the challenge of building double decker cribs. The cribs were built last fall and shipped to Haiti. Unfortunately they didn't clear customs in time for our November mission team to put them together. This week a wonderful man named Ken went back to Haiti to put the cribs together, among other things. So, here are a few of them. Each baby will now have their own crib! I'm not sure how our boys will like that! :) They've always slept together in the same crib. Thank you Ken and everyone who had a part in making these cribs a reality!!!

February Pictures of the Boys

Noah

Samuel

Samuel

What a surprise we received this morning!! The February update pictures are here AND we finally got pictures from Christmas. We were told that they didn't get pictures of the babies in the Christmas photos, but today I learned that they did get pictures of Noah and Samuel. Yeah!!

Christmas in Haiti

Here is a picture of the boys opening their Christmas presents from us on Christmas Eve. In Haiti, Christmas is celebrated on Christmas Eve. Chuck and I have always opened gifts on Christmas Eve, so I'm really glad that we already have that Haitian tradition down for the boys! Oh, and the boys ARE NOT wearing pink! If you look at the inside of the gift bags, they also look pink, and they are white.

In Need of Great Resources

Well, last weekend I ordered like 12 or so books, all on adoption, attachment, and parenting. I plan to read a bunch before the boys come home for 2 reasons: 1) So that I am as prepared as I can be - especially for attachment and bonding issues. 2) Because I probably won't get to read again uninterrupted for a long time. So, if you are reading this and have a favorite book on parenting or adoption, or attachment, or on general household organization - please either post a comment or email me at ittybitties@msn.com.

On to the Next Step...

Well, we are now waiting for the next step in our process called, "Judgement Granted." The IBESR missing receipts problem has obviously been straightened out, praise God!! The past few families from our orphanage who cleared this step did so in about 2-3 weeks. When we receive Judgement, the boys are officially adopted in the eyes of Haiti! They will have our last name at that point! There are still a number of steps after Judgement, but how exciting is it to think that they will be little Cason's in just a few weeks!

Noah's Newest Picture

Look at that smile! And all those teeth!! It's so much easier to see their pictures knowing that they are coming home soon!

Another Picture of Both Boys

Do you see how big their bellies are?? They sure are getting big!

Samuel's Newest Picture

Isn't he just so cute! Chuck says the boys look like they're heading off to law school in these pictures.

New Picture of the Boys

Woooooooohoooooooo!!

I got the phone call we've been waiting FOREVER for today!! We are out of IBESR! Woohoo!! IBESR is Haiti's social services. They have the task of approving (or not approving) families for adoption. We waited 6 months and 9 days for this news. Our timeline is now probably 3-5 months before the boys come home.

I do have a prayer request regarding this, though. Our attorney had his briefcase stolen last week, and in it were receipts for our files. IBESR won't give him the files without the receipts or a copy of the police report proving that his briefcase was stolen. Please pray that he can get them a copy of the police report and that he be kept safe as he travels about to get it. Once our files are released to him they still have a number of steps to go through before we get the very best phone call ever - the 'come and get them' call!

Thanks for all your love and prayers. Oh, and I realized why January 16th was such a hard day (see previous post). January 16th was the one year anniversary of receiving the referall for the twins. No wonder it was such a hard day!!

Hard Day

Well, in the adoption journey, some days are harder than others. Today is one of them for me. Chuck and I stayed up late last night watching video footage from my trip to visit the boys in November. Both of us were just about crying through the whole thing. I miss them so much. It feels like it will be forever before they come home. I'm sorry to whine here, I'm just missing our boys. I can't even muster up a pep talk for myself. The wait is hard today. I'm sorry this is a bummer of a post. Hopefully we'll get some happy news soon.

Waiting for News

Well, I haven't posted in a while because there's no news to share. We're waiting for pictures from Christmas at the orphanage and I'll post those once we get them. Not much has been happening. We are just quietly waiting for the news that our paperwork is out of IBESR (Haitian Social Services). Our paperwork has been there since mid-July and the families who have most recently gotten out of this long step went into it in June. So we are close. I can feel it. While getting out of IBESR is worthy of a huge celebration, it could still be 5 more months before the boys come home. It makes me want to cry when I think about it. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a patient person. I want things yesterday. I really expected when we started this process in November 2005 that our kids would be home by now. Had I known it would take this long, I don't know that I would have been willing to do it. I'm glad I didn't know because although it's been hard, I wouldn't do it differently. God has made it so clear to Chuck and me that Noah and Samuel are our sons. I long for the day that they'll be here with us. The thought that just came to mind is that I was away from God for many years. I did things my way and really messed up. And God waited. And it must have broken His heart repeatedly for Him to have to wait for me to come home to Him. And eventually I did. Our sons will come home. I know this is true. International adoption is risky stuff, but I believe in my heart that our sons will come home and that it will be in God's perfect timing. Okay, you've just now officially witnessed me giving myself a pep talk. I'm thankful that I have God's promises as my encouragement. I don't know how I would walk this journey without Him. That's all for now.

Happy Woman

Look at that smile! If I told you that her life is in danger every day as she commutes to work, would you believe it? If I told you that she has to hear stories of children sacrificed to the devil on a regular basis, would you guess that? If I told you that she's seen babies come into the orphanage with bite marks from wild animals after being left for dead, would you wonder how she can still smile? Madame Gaston has seen things that we Americans can't fathom, yet look at that smile! That is what Jesus in our hearts should look like. I learn so much from the simple life of one woman in Haiti.

Madame Gaston

This is a picture of Madame Gaston, our boys' primary nanny. I don't think I've ever met someone more filled with Christ's love. She loves all the children at the orphanage and takes care of babies. She loves to sing to the babies and get them smiling and bouncing. When we visited in November we watched her sing "Alleluia" to the babies as she would clap her hands and jump up and down. The babies love it and many of them sing Alleluia right back to her as they clap their hands and bounce. I can't tell you how precious it is to hear a baby say Alleluia.

The Boys with Madame Gaston

This is a picture of our boys with their nanny, Madame Gaston. They absolutely love her, and she loves them so much. Samuel is on the left in her lap and Noah is on the right. This picture was taken in the baby room at the orphanage in November.

How You Can Help

We are often asked if we need help with our adoption. The answer is YES!! Prayer is the thing we need most. It is so important that we lift our adoption up in prayer daily. We want God's hand directing our paperwork every step of the way! We would also love to have people praying daily for our boys to be safe, healthy, and to feel our presence and love as if they were already home with us.

Another way to help is through financial support. Adoption is expensive. We have raised a lot of money, but we've also accumulated debt due to our adoption. We have teamed up with a wonderful organization called Kingdom Kids Adoption Ministry. They do all sorts of things to help out orphans and adopting families. They are set up to receive tax deductible financial contributions on behalf of families. If you'd like to support us financially, you can do so online at:

http://www.kingdomkidsadoption.com/Default.aspx?tabid=58&List=1&ProductID=17&CategoryID=4&Level=1

Just follow their directions, being sure to include our name in the special instructions field. Check out the rest of the KKAM website, too. They are great people who are really making a difference for orphans.

By far, the very best way you could bless us would be if you were inspired to adopt. There are so many children in this world that don't have families to love them. Adoption may seem big, scary, and expensive - but take our word, God will provide in every way if you step out in faith.

Our Orphanage in the News - Again!

The news in Colorado Springs did another story on our Orphanage Director and her family. Check it out:

http://krdo.com/story.cfm?nav=news&storyID=1724#

There are many financial needs at the orphanage right now. Medical bills from the sick babies in November have come in and also Haitian law requires Christmas bonuses for the staff at the orphanage. It's thousands of dollars all together. If you feel led to give, please contact our Director, Linda Kohn, through the website: www.forhisgloryao.org.

Good News from our Orphanage

This week has been a very joyfilled week for families adopting from our orphange. We had 9 dossiers (adoption paperwork files) released from IBESR this week. 8 of them were released today! Praise God!! I'm so excited for all the families. What a wonderful Christmas gift - to know that their children are through a very important (and long!!) step in the process of adopting from Haiti.

So, you ask, what does that mean for us? Well, it means we are getting closer! I'm not sure how many dossiers are ahead of ours, but I don't think it's many!!

I would love to hear next week that we are out of IBESR, and I know God can totally do it, but I also know that this whole adoption is to happen in His perfect timing. So, if it's not next week we won't be crushed.

That's all for now!

Samuel

Noah

First Pictures

It has been a while since I've posted, so I figured I would add some more photos. These are the first pictures we received of the boys. I'm not sure of the exact date these photos were taken, but we got these pictures on January 17th when the boys were 10 weeks old. It is hard to believe how much they've grown and blossomed since January. It's sad to think of all the milestones we've missed since January, and I'm so grateful for the time I got to spend with them in July (with Chuck too) and in November. Sometimes it feels like they will never come home. A lady in our orphanage's Yahoo group recently reminded me that the Lord will restore what the locusts destroyed (Joel 2:25). So yes, God will restore the time that we've missed out on. I believe that. I'm not sure how, but I believe that is true.

Boys' Bedroom

Well, it's official, the boys have a bedroom! Last Saturday Chuck and our friend Shaun put together the cribs and moved all the furniture into the boys' room. We had been waiting to put the room together because we'd like to paint clouds on the ceiling, but we decided to go ahead and put the room together. If we're supposed to have clouds in there, it will happen.

We're not going with much of a theme - just pastel blue and green and baby animals. After all, they won't be babies for long. We still need to get curtains and a big rug for the floor, but it's coming together. I haven't done so yet, but I think I will begin praying for them in there.

We've been given SOOOO many clothes. It's just wonderful how God moves through people to supply our needs. All of the furniture in the boys' room (plus a great big dresser that doesn't fit) was given to us by friends at church. My sister through a shower for me back in August, and we have tons of supplies for the boys - towels, wash clothes, medicine, books, blankets and more blankets, bathtub toys, regular toys, and the list goes on!

The next time I find myself doubting God's provision, I'll just walk into that room and know that He really does supply all that we need!