Sunday, August 30, 2009

Update on the Move to Michigan

It's been a while since I've wrote an update on our move to Michigan.

In three months time we went to Michigan 3 times. That is a lot of travel, especially with little people. The trips are especially taxing on us because we travel at night. Chuck usually drives all night and I'm getting better at sleeping in the van. The kids are pretty good about sleeping in the van, though they take nice long naps the next day. If Chuck needs to be in MI in the next 6-7 weeks, he will go by himself so that our kiddos can get back into a routine for a decent period of time.

Chuck has met with various people during our trips to MI to talk about and gather support for the church we will start. So far there are a lot of people excited about what we are doing, so that is encouraging.

What is not encouraging is financial support. Times are tough right now. A few years ago it would have been no problem to get financial backing from a few church planting organizations to get this church started. That's all changed now.

The model that we thought we would follow in starting this church is to raise financial support, move to the area, and then Chuck would draw a salary as he gets the church started (we need at least 6 months on the ground in MI before starting the church). Since financial support is not what we hoped it would be, we may have to do things differently. And that's okay if that's what God wants us to do.

So, Chuck has applied for a handful of government jobs in MI. As a disabled veteran, he does get some preference, so that's cool. Chuck has also applied for a few government positions in this area since we haven't sold our house yet. If Chuck gets a position in MI, he will work in that postition and work on getting the church started. He will be very busy, that's for sure. Starting a church is no small undertaking and I dread the idea of him doing that AND working a full time job. If Chuck gets a position here, we will wait on the sale of our home and then he will hopefully either have financial support for the church lined up or a job in MI lined up.

Our house. Well, it's been for sale for 4 weeks now. We have only had two people look at it in that time. Today I hosted an open house and only one person came. And that person was a neighbor. To say I'm discouraged would be an understatement. I am not generally a patient person. When God confirmed in my heart that we are to move to MI, I was ready to go then. I don't do limbo well. While I totally dread packing up and leaving all our friends behind, I just want to get it over with. Since we don't have financial support set up in MI and Chuck hasn't secured a job, I guess it shouldn't surprise me that our house hasn't sold yet. Waiting for God's perfect timing in all these details is not easy for me.

One of the tough things about selling our house is that we need to sell it For Sale By Owner. We moved into this house in November 2007, so we haven't been here 2 years yet. And we are in a bad market. Our hope is that we break even on selling this house. We talked to one of the top realtors in this area and she doesn't think we can sell it with an agent and break even. BUMMER. A lot of people are doing a "short sale," which basically means you ask the lender to take slightly less than what you owe on the house. A lot of people are currently doing this in this market in order to avoid foreclosure. When we spoke with the realtor, this idea was presented. A short sale does impact your credit, but it is not hard to overcome. For us, this is just not an option. As I mentioned earlier, Chuck is a disabled veteran. Our home was purchased with the VA (veteran's affairs) Loan, and because Chuck is a disabled veteran, we don't pay their funding fee, which is a lot like an origination fee. So basically, the VA Loan means very minimal closing costs on a mortgage for us. And we get to use that each time we buy a home (as long as we sell the last one). If we short sell this house, we completely lose the VA benefit. Forever. Aside from selling this house, our only other option is to rent it. Between renting it for slightly less than our mortgage payment and paying a property manager, we would be renting out our house at a $150-$200 loss monthly. Not cool. We need to sell it!

I recently had the opportunity to speak with someone who has family moving away to help start a church. While she was kind about it all, I could tell that her family didn't have her full support in their move. And that made me realize just how important that support is. As we prepare to relocate to do what God has called us to do, it is so comforting to know that we have people supporting us. And I don't mean financially. What I'm talking about is just having people who believe in us... even when we don't really believe in ourselves. Church planting is not easy stuff. I'm thankful for the many people who stand beside us as we get ready to do this.

Something that has been really hard with announcing that we are moving sometime soon is that some people treat us like we are already gone. I don't think they mean us any harm. We've had a number of situations where people make comments about us leaving so why include us, etc. We have a few friends who haven't pushed us away and that's been great. Having friends we can turn to during this crazy time is comforting.

A popular, yet untrue belief about following God is that "if it's from God, it will be easy." That is not my experience at all I don't believe that's true for one second. Adopting Noah and Samuel was God's plan for our family, yet it was incredibly hard. Some of the best thing's God asks us to do are HARD.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Walking!

Tristan has been working on walking for well over a month now. He's been taking 2 or 3 steps and falling for a while now.

Lately he's been taking more steps together. He will take like 6 or 7 steps, but they are so tiny that he doesn't make it very far. But he is walking! Sometimes he looks drunk and sometimes he looks really stiff. And he's so proud of himself when he does it. As soon as we clap for him or call him to us, he plops down and fast crawls over. I guess he's still more comfortable with crawling.

I've been told my life will never be the same once this little guy is walking. Is it possible that I will be more tired than I already am??!!

While writing this post Tristan walked about 15 steps (he took a standing still break midway)! I think he is getting even closer to the real-deal walking!

Monday, August 24, 2009

I'm Calling It!

I might regret this tomorrow, but...

I do believe...

Noah and Samuel are potty trained!!!!!

They wore underwear all day today with no accidents. That would include a 2+ hour nap. I woke them up and had them both go to the bathroom because I was too afraid to let them sleep any longer for fear of wet beds.

We are SO proud of them!!

And it only took until they were 3 years, 9 months, and 15 days. But whose counting, right??!! (And for the record we are totally fine with it taking this long considering all they have encountered in their little lives.) Oh, and they aren't nighttime potty trained yet. And that's okay. I mean, they sleep for 12ish hours. I can't wait that long!

Happy dancing!!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Snuggler

Late January, 2009

It surprised me today when I realized that I've never blogged about what a snuggler Tristan is. He's been that way since birth and I don't think I've ever mentioned it. Weird.

So, yeah, he's a snuggly little guy. He has always liked to be held. Even still, he will take a break from crawling around and playing to spend some time in the arms of me or Chuck.

When Tristan was an infant, he demanded to be held. He has a super flat head (still! but don't worry the Dr. has been watching it), but it is not from being left laying on the back of his head! In fact, when I'd talk about it with people (you know, cuz I was worried about it) I'd always share that we definitely hold him.

Something that has soothed him while upset right from the beginning is to cup his face with the palm of my hand. He nuzzles into it and calms down, usually. And, while holding him, if you put your face against his, he will nuzzle in hard. He likes to snuggle on our shoulders, too. And he naps best in our arms. 6o minutes is about tops for sleeping in his crib for a nap, but he'll snooze for 2 hours if we sit and hold him. It doesn't happen often, though!

I guess the strange part for me is that I'm not a snuggler. I'm more of a "Don't touch me!" kind of gal. You can ask Chuck about that. We bought a king size bed a year and a half ago and one of the things I love is that I don't touch anyone while sleeping!

But, I love to snuggle Tristan. I just can't resist those little baby nuzzles. And even weirder... he's a really sweaty baby. When he sleeps his head gets soaked in perspiration. And I'll still snuggle his sweaty little head... even let him rub it on my skin (so gross!).

I guess it's a mother's love thing. And I love it!

Friday, August 21, 2009

In the Thick of It

Noah on the left, Samuel on the right

Potty training, that is!


Beware, lots of poop and pee talk ahead.


A number of wise parents told me early on that I shouldn't try to potty train the boys until they were "ready." They told me it would be futile to even try if they weren't interested.


Honestly, the boys may have been potty trained when they came home. They were handed to us with diapers on and ginormous underwear on top. We weren't told if they were potty trained or not. In the hotel in Miami, Noah tried to pee in the bathtub and Chuck quickly moved him to the toilet. After that he wanted nothing to do with peeing in the toilet.


And to be even more honest, I don't think I was ready to potty train them. Tristan was a very needy infant. He was held much of the time so that he wouldn't scream and he was exclusively breastfed for nine months. So, I knew that I couldn't be running to the potty with TWINS throughout the day.


About 6 or so weeks ago, Noah began pooping on the potty, but not peeing. We were excited. He was excited. For every trip to the potty he got 3 Skittles and a "Rusty Diaper." (A Rusty Diaper is a Lightning McQueen Pullup. The boys call him Rusty.) And when he began peeing in the potty, the Pullups turned into underwear. He was so proud of himself, and so were we! We quickly learned that if we put shorts on over the underwear, we were sure to have an accident. The underwear by themselves seemed to keep him aware of peeing on the potty. So, he was "sort of" potty trained.


During this time, all Samuel wanted in life was a Rusty Diaper. He would nearly cry for one. He wanted candy, too, but the Rusty Diaper was his true desire. When Noah moved into underwear (and yes, they were Cars underwear!), Samuel was beside himself with envy. And we were glad about it. We went through a few weeks of Samuel coming to me and telling me he wanted to poop on the potty, but it was already in his diaper. Bad timing. Then, 2 weeks ago on the way home from church he told Chuck he wanted "to go poopoo on the potty." They were about 15 minutes from home and Chuck asked him if he could wait (all the while feeling very bummed that we were missing an opportunity with Samuel). Well, when they got home, Samuel pooped on the potty. And he has only pooped in his diaper once at night since. And, to make it all the better, Samuel immediately started peeing on the potty as well. He has maybe had one or two accidents since! He wakes up from naps dry. It just really clicked for him and we are so happy for him.


Last week we were in MI. Samuel did great with potty training while there. Noah, not so much. He really seemed to regress while there. I think there were three major factors to his regression: 1) His routine was altered since we were out of town and staying with family. 2) He was no longer the only one getting all the praise. Samuel was now sharing the spotlight (and the toilet!). 3) I think some of it is defiance. Noah has a tendency toward defiance and I think we have some (definitely not all) of that going on.


But, the good news is.... we are getting there!! I'm quite grossed out by a lot of potty training stuff, but we are slowly saying goodbye to diapers. Yay!!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Birthday Boy!

One year ago today.

This morning


Such a smily little guy!


It is so hard for me to believe that Tristan is a year old today. I cannot believe how quickly the time has gone by!

Tristan is such a fun little guy. He is H-A-P-P-Y most of the time. But when he is not, he IS NOT.

While having Tristan was indeed planned, the timing of the arrival of all three of our kids nearly at once was not. I questioned God on that for quite some time. It was HARD. Really hard. We operated in survival mode for months. Looking back on it, I don't know how I held it together. In the last few months, Chuck and I have acquired some hindsight. We have realized that having Tristan at the same time as the arrival of Noah and Samuel actually brought us some peace.

Noah and Samuel had a pretty good transition, but it was still hard. They were so afraid of everything when they came home. They freaked out a lot. Their diapers were horrible and we were terrified that Tristan would catch giardia from them. Not to mention, we were first time parents. We had no idea what we were doing. We were scared.

At the end of a long day, after the twins were in bed, we would hold Tristan and experience peace. There is just something so calming about holding an infant. And still today, there is something very calming about holding this 21 1/2 lb baby boy.

Tristan definitely says Mama and Dada and mimics other words. He is not quite walking... he seems to like holding on to furniture as he walks and runs along. He gets right in the mix and plays with the big boys. Just recently Noah and Samuel have become a little less gentle with him and I think it's because they don't view him as a baby anymore. Tristan is transitioning well to table food and is down to nursing just before bed now. I have slowly been weaning him from breastfeeding for about a month and a half and he would not drink formula, so he is drinking whole milk. (I know, I know, he shouldn't have had milk before a year old, but he just wouldn't drink the formula.) He has five teeth and #6 is so close to breaking through that I had to check before I typed five. He still fits in some of his 12 month clothing, but is more comfortably fitting in 18 month clothing now (though pants are a little long).

Tristan has never been a good napper. His morning nap is usually only 30 minutes long and his afternoon nap is considered long if he makes it 60 minutes. He goes to bed between 7:30 and 8 and is up at 5:30, much to our dismay. We give him milk at about 6 and he will go back to sleep for a little while some days after drinking his milk.

A recent nickname we've given Tristan is "T-Bird." When Tristan screams, he sounds like a pterodactyl. In learning about pterodactyls I found that they belong to the bird family; they are not considered dinosaurs.

Tristan's little personality just keeps emerging. He's pretty strong willed. He wants what he wants... when he wants it. Yes, he is my son. He's also pretty funny. He has taken his stinker face to a whole new level. He now will do the stinker face and then laugh... like he's just kidding. While typing this post he added an eye roll to the stinker face when my sister told him to take a car out of his mouth. Oh my.
Tomorrow we will have a family birthday party for Tristan. We are grateful to be able to celebrate this day with family here in MI. Even my Dad is here, visiting from Florida.

I just love this little guy to pieces. He keeps me on my toes and deprives me of sleep and rattles my brain with his screeching, but it's all worth it. When he's snuggled up in my arms or flashing me a baby grin or sleeping peacefully in his crib I know without a doubt that I have been blessed beyond measure.

Happy Birthday, baby boy!

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Stinker Face

It all began about four weeks ago. I should have known where we were heading when Tristan reduced his two older brothers to tears in a few minutes.

Tristan has become, ummmm, challenging in the last month. He has taken the idea of exerting his will to a new level and multiplied it.

I think becoming more and more mobile is adding to it. He is hearing the word no a lot more than ever. I try to distract him with another option, but this little guy will not be fooled. He wants what he wants.

The dishwasher is of particular interest to Tristan. I have to sneakily load and unload it. I used to let him play at the dishwasher, but that went out the window when he grabbed a knife last week. And it wasn't a butter knife.

There are a lot of things that bring out the "Stinker Face." One of the things that brings it out is his bib. He hates bibs; has hated them since he was a newborn. And since he's been primarily breastfed, he hasn't had to deal with them too often. He's not exceptionally drooly (unlike myself) so he doesn't have to wear them all the time like some of his little friends. We mainly bust them out at meals. And he hates them.

I must add that the Stinker Face is accompanied by high pitched screaming. This is a vocal kid. Always has been. And he's loud. Like rattle your brain loud. God is funny like that. He gave me three kids at once, 2 with a language barrier and h-o-r-r-i-d giardia, who were afraid of all things and wouldn't eat almost anything, and a screaming banshee for a baby. It is really something else that I haven't completely lost it. But I'm getting off track.

Enjoy the Stinker Face.

Trying to remove the bib. He usually succeeds.
Mommy tells him, "No."

Winding up. It looks like a smile, but it is not.
No, it is not. That, my blog friends, is a baby smirk.


The Stinker Face. Eyebrows furrowed. Angry eyes.
Nose scrunched up. Lips pursed. This is accompanied
by huffing and puffing through the nostrils with
intermittent screams. You will notice the moving
hands. They beat up and down. Unfortunately he
has his head bowed, so you don't get the full effect.
It is truly something else.

Some pictures

Three little boys all looking in the direction of
the camera... too bad they aren't smiling...
A man's best friend

Tristan at the beach on Mother's Day


Noah and Samuel at the beach on Mother's Day

Noah and Samuel's first icecream cones.
This is nothing compared to when it was all gone!

Noah nursing Samuel :)

First time in the sand at the beach

Tristan was hot like mommy

Tristan thoroughly enjoys his biter biscuits!

One year ago today...

... I woke up bright an early hoping to find an email from Haiti for Noah and Samuel's visa appointment - the very last step in our grueling process.

I was dissappointed. The email was not there. When I had spoke with the women in Haiti the day before she told me she would email me with a confirmation of our appointment.

I checked my email a few more times. And then a few more times.

And then, shockingly, the email was there. I was in utter disbelief. I began to shake. And then to cry. Chuck and my mom were here. It was surreal.

And, on top of it all, it was my due date for Tristan. Of course, he didn't arrive until nine long days later.

So much has changed in a year!

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

In the last few days...

... Tristan has started dancing.

It is so cute.

If he is standing, he bounces at his knees. His arms move up and down.

If he is sitting, his arms move up and down and he sort of bounces and is all smiles.

Today I learned that I can stop him in his tracks (only for a few seconds) by singing the ABC's because he has to stop so he can dance. This is good if I can't get to him quick enough. Buys me a little time. Because he is ALWAYS getting into stuff.

Monday, August 03, 2009

An Overdue Update

Wow, time flies when you are super busy!

It has been crazy around here as we have worked to get our home ready to sell. Lots of little projects add up to hours and hours of work. We just do what we can when we can. It's not all done, but I guess it never really is. We had a lengthy painting job done as well as some flooring work completed. For those jobs we took a trip to Michigan. Chuck was able to meet up with some people regarding the church and I got to stay on high alert in my sister's home with the kids for a week. It was great to be with family (and experience cooler weather), but it was exhausting keeping the boys out of trouble in my sister's home. I came to love naptime even more than I once did!

Finally, just yesterday, we put our home up for sale. Because we have only lived here 21 months, we have to do For Sale By Owner. Luckily we have some friends who know a lot about real estate and marketing. We are hopeful that we will stand out among other FSBO houses. And really, it's all in God's hands. We will do our best to market our home and leave the rest to Him. If you'd like a link to our Craig's List listing or to a Blog we've created full of pictures and information, please email me at julicason@yahoo.com.

Fundraising for the new church seems to be full of closed doors. The economy is in the crapper and the funding prospects aren't good. If I look at the big picture of everything it is easy to say, "Maybe we aren't supposed to do this." But, the truth is, I know we are. I know with all my heart that we are supposed to move to Michigan and start a church. I don't know where the money will come from, but I know God has called us and so we go. Our faith is being tested. Some days I fail. Some days I don't.

Emotionally I'm just all over the place. Added to the stress of selling our home and relocating are a couple of big milestones. As Tristan's first birthday approaches along with the upcoming first Gotcha Day for Noah and Samuel, I'm an emotional wreck. I want to bawl my eyes out thinking about Tristan turning one. Where did my little baby go? How has this happened so fast?

Thinking about the twins gets me even more worked up. I think about where we were at nearly a year ago and where we are at today. WOW. God has been so graceful to our family in this last year as Noah and Samuel (and us!) have adjusted. When I think about how things were early on and where we are at today, my eyes well up with such gratitude. These boys are THRIVING. Seriously. We deal with some minor issues, but in the grand realm of adoption/bonding/attachment we are doing so well. Some kids come home with serious issues. We doubled our chances for that by adopting two children. My heart is so thankful for how these boys are blossoming. They are such a joy (and A LOT of work!).

I have a dry erase calendar that is still stuck on August 2008. For the first few months after all the kids arrived, I just didn't even think about updating it. But as time wore on, I couldn't bring myself to do it. When I put that month together last year on the dry erase board, I was so full of anticipation. We knew the twins would be home soon, finally. We had waited so long for them. We had begun our adoption process 33 months before. And with Tristan, we knew we would have a baby before the month was over. We had no idea what was about to happen to our little world as we knew it. Yes, we were scared, but the pure joy and excitement of it all was just all-encompassing. We were so naive! Thankfully we had a host of family and friends committed to praying for us and that carried us through, I'm sure.

We are so thankful to all our family and friends who are praying for us during this time. Going through all of this would be unfathomable without that kind of support, so thank you! Please keep praying for us, and if you'd like specifics, please send me an email at julicason@yahoo.com.