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It took over 10 months, but it finally happened.

Today, while walking to the park someone yelled something out their car window in regard to the boys' skin color.

I have never experienced the kind of fury that I felt in that moment. I want to protect them from such things and today I learned in an instant that I cannot.

I feel angry and sick over it. I have no words and yet I want to scream all sorts of things at the top of my lungs.

How is this still happening in our country? How does anyone find this acceptable? Will the ignorance ever end?

First Step

Tristan has been on the verge of walking for over a week now. He is cruising all over the place and can stand on his own for a decent amount of time. Up until last night, he wouldn't try to take a step. Instead he'd plop down and crawl.

Well, last night he got brave and me, Chuck, and Aunt Christi all got to watch him take his first un-aided step. We all cheered and he was pretty proud of himself.

In no time he will be walking all over the place.

It is just crazy how time flies.

Father

So, today I had a funny conversation with Noah and Samuel.

I was in the kitchen making dinner and putting away groceries (that were bought yesterday... yes that's how I roll these days...). When I was putting away the Bisquick, Samuel asked for pancakes. I told him that we'd maybe have pancakes tomorrow, but that is was up to their father (Chuck is in charge of breakfast around here).

Then, I realized that we don't use the word, "father" and I wondered if they knew what it meant. So I said, "Who's your father?"

And without any hesitation both boys said, "Nemo."

I asked later on and got the same answer.

Ha-larious.

The Bully

Yesterday Tristan attacked Samuel.

Samuel has nearly 3 years and 15 pounds on Tristan, but he was reduced to tears.

Tristan had a toy in his hand that belonged to Samuel. Samuel took the toy from Tristan. Tristan retaliated (he is really learning how to master a temper tantrum lately). His retaliation was to hit Samuel with his hand in a claw like position. His unkempt nails added to Samuel's injury, I'm sure.

All the while Tristan was screaming at the top of his lungs. And that is loud. I'm not sure I've ever blogged about how very loud he is, but he holds a record in the nursery at the hospital he was born at. And we have friends who will tell you he's the loudest baby they've ever heard. I mean, really, I wish we were breaking some other type of record but nooooo. We get the screaming banshee baby record.

Tristan's screaming was so loud that Noah began to cry. Noah was on edge from a recent time out, but still. In a matter of seconds 11 month old Tristan reduced his twin older brothers to tears.

I think we might have a bully on our hands.

A Good Cause

I think it's hard to find good causes to support. It just seems that so many charities out there put way too much money into the comfort of those employed by the charity.

I find this problem magnified in Haiti. For example, I've read about the SUV's that UNICEF employees ride around in. I wonder how many hungry kids could be fed if 50K weren't spent on an SUV. And in Haiti, corruption is so prevalent and that makes finding a reputable charity even harder.

In 2004 I went on a mission trip to Haiti that changed my life. When I flew back to the US 5 years ago, I left my heart behind. In those 5 years I've become familiar with a lot of work being done in Haiti; though certainly not all of it. It's not my plan to share with you the organizations I wouldn't support (other than UNICEF, that is). Believe me, I have a list of them. But I would like to highlight a cause that's worth supporting.

I began reading the Livesay [Haiti] Weblog early on in our adoption wait. They are a family from Minnesota serving in Haiti. I just love that family! They are funny and sarcastic - totally things I love. They share who they really are and what it's like to minister in Haiti. I always look forward to reading their posts.

Recently Tara Livesay decided to run a marathon to raise money for hungry kids in Haiti. There is a product available called Medika Mamba that is helping to nurse starving children back to health. Tara is trying to raise $26,000 for hungry kids who will benefit from Medika Mamba.

While I was extremely moved by her posts about a little starving boy named Renald, I must admit that I didn't donate right away. You see, we live off of a tight budget... especially now that we have three kiddos. And our future economic situation is quite shaky as we transition to ministry in MI. But tonight I just had to say, "Screw the budget!" and give. I know how desperate the situation in Haiti is. I've seen it with my own eyes. The starving children are everywhere. My kids could have ended up among them. If we run out of diapers or have to eat Ramen Noodles, we will be okay. It will be worth it to know we are helping to save little lives.

So, tonight I'm linking over to the Livesay Blog. I ask that you read about their fundraiser and prayerfully consider giving to it. Read the posts about Renald. Look at him. Don't avert your eyes.

Let the reality of his little life seep into your soul. And know that there are THOUSANDS just like him.

PJ's

Truth be told, sometimes we don't make it out of our pj's around here.

Most days most of us do.

The person who seems to chill in pj's the most is Tristan. Some days it just seems silly to change him into an outfit when I know we aren't going anywhere and that he'll probably just have a blowout and mess up the outfit anyway. Or, if I know I'm going to bathe him later in the day, I don't want to put him in clean clothes before his bath.

You get the picture. The kid where's his pj's a lot. And I never thought it bothered him.

Until today.

As I finished up my shower this morning, Chuck came in with a funny story. It seems Tristan pulled off his pj bottoms (he has never done that before) and flung them out of the pack n play.

I think it was his way of letting us know that today isn't a pj day.

And for the record... he needs a bath and he had a diaper blowout in his cute little outfit!

It's All Him

Yesterday morning Chuck and I took the twins to be assessed by our school district to see if they qualify for any special services. We didn't have any serious concerns; the boys are very smart. But, given that they spent 32 months in an institution, we wanted to make sure that we didn't miss any opportunities that they may be eligible for.

We were really impressed by the two ladies who assessed the boys. They obviously love their work and children. They just got down on the boys' level and played with them. We learned a lot in general, and in particular we learned a lot about some of Samuel's behaviors. The nurse used the phrase, "low tolerance for frustration" to describe some of what we are dealing with. So true! (In fact, I think I have that too.) He also has some sensory issues that we will keep our eye on - nothing serious, but definitely there.

They were just so impressed with the boys. In terms of size, they are slender, but tall. They believe the boys were probably premature (as have we... most twin pregnancies don't go 40 weeks in this country, let alone a third world country). They were amazed by their language. We have been concerned about language, but they had no concerns. They are articulating well. They know a tremendous amount of words, especially when you take into consideration that they've only been exposed to English for 10 months. There are absolutely no cognitive concerns. When shown a skill, the boys picked it up quickly.

I really thought we'd be referred to a preschool program. There are programs available... but thankfully our boys don't qualify. They are not behind! And all I can say is that God is so good. I can't take any credit. There is so much more I could have been doing with them, and yet still they are on target. At only 10 months home. It's all Him. I've had lots of situations in life where I could say that God was at work, but so was I. This is so clearly His work. And I'm SO thankful for it.