The Strength Behind Doing and Being Good

I just finished reading a short devotion. It was good, right up until I hit the last sentence. The last sentence made me feel a little sick, because it reinforced some old ideas I had about Chrisitianity.

You see, up until the last month or so, I wasn't understaning the full scope of the Gospel. Yes, I believed Jesus died for me and I've asked Him into my heart and I fully believe I was heading to Heaven, but there was a big grace part I was missing.

It's the part that tells me who I am in Christ. You see, I became a Christian and started doing good things. A lot of times it was because I wanted to, but sometimes it was because I felt I had to. You know, Christians do good stuff, I'm a Christian, so I'll do good stuff too. My heart wasn't necessarily in it. I could pull that off.

What I couldn't pull off was who I was on the inside. I still thought mean things (and sometimes said them, you can ask Chuck about that), I still had bad thoughts, but most of all, I knew who I really was and I certainly didn't want you to know the truth. I was a sinner to the core. The stuff I had done in my pre-Christian days still had tremendous power over who I was.

But recently I have learned about who I am in Christ. I'll admit, I've heard it before, but I finally heard it if you know what I mean. I learned that I am a virtuous woman. Not that I have to try to be, but that's who I am in Christ. I learned that I can love like the famous love verses in 1 Corinthians 13 - not in my strength, though. I've learned what it really means to "take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (2 Cor 10:5). I've learned that when the bad thoughts creep into my mind they are not of Christ. And if they aren't of Christ, then they are of Satan. I used to think they were of Juli. Seriously, I did. See, Jesus owns my soul and Satan can't touch that so he goes after my thoughts and emotions. And for a long time he did it well.

It used to be that when I read a Bible verse on how we are supposed to be as Christians, I took it as instruction. "This is how you are supposed to behave, Juli." Now I take it as a promise. "This is who you are, Juli." You see, we can't follow the law in our own strength. If we could we wouldn't need Jesus. Think about it. If you can be good all on your own, why do you need Him? That is exactly what I was trying to do. But, you see, when we tap into His power, we are able to live out the law. We do it in His strength, not our own.

I know that this is the Gospel at it's core, but how many of us truly live it out? I know too many Christians who aren't living in Jesus' strength. And I can say that because I was one. For over 6 years I lived that way. And this leads me to the reason of this post. Too much Christian teaching out there tells us what to do and be as Christians. And sometimes they add in or gloss over the idea that it's through the strength of Jesus that we do and be. However, my devotion this morning ended by telling me what to be. And as my stomach twisted and I thought about devotions past, I realized that somehow many of our teachers out there have forgotten to keep reminding us that we do and be in the strength of Jesus.