Update

Well, I know you are just dying to know if we are finished painting. We are 97% done. All the trim is done. We have one closet door needing a final coat of paint. And the bathroom painting hasn't been completed, but that wasn't part of the current project anyway. Oh yeah, and one metal post on the porch needs another coat of paint. And touch ups. But if the house goes under contract before I touch up, I'm not going to do it. I'll leave the new peeps the paint and my touch up brush.

Yay! If I never paint again it will be too soon.

So, tomorrow morning we will put our house up for sale and we will write an offer on the house we like, which is still available. If you could pray that they take our offer, that would be helpful. We are offering a lot less than they are asking. Oh yeah, and we are waiting for the pre-qual letter from our lender. We want to submit that with our offer.

We'd really appreciate your prayers as we move forward. We want God's will, not our own.

My Husband is Great

I don't say it enough. Chuck really is a great husband. He's loving, he's considerate, he loves kids, he cares about how people feel, he's great with people, he's good looking, he's tough, he's gentle, he is truly all that and a bag of chips.

If you've been reading the blog lately you know that my life has been consumed by painting. I painted myself sick on Wednesday. Yeah, I didn't know I needed to open the windows. Anyway, I've been dreading painting the office. Not because I don't want to paint it, but because it's a small room with way too much furniture. And also because I hate taping. Hate it. I'd rather get a migraine from paint fumes like I did on Wednesday than tape off a room.

This morning my wonderful husband woke me up to tell me that the office was taped off. That woke me up! I went to bed a little after 9 p.m. last night because parent bootcamp took a lot out of me. It took a lot out of Chuck, too, but he wanted to do something nice for me. So last night, after I went to bed, which is also about the time I asked him if there was anything he could do to stop coughing (yeah, I'm really sweet like that), he went in and moved all the furniture in the office and taped off all the baseboards and the closet framing. He was up until midnight doing it. Wait, it gets better. You see, we sat for about 11 hours yesterday in not-so-comfy chairs. Chuck's back doesn't agree with sitting for more than a few hours at a time. So his back hurt most of yesterday. Once his back is hurting the worst thing he can do is bend a bunch at the waist. It's kind of hard to tape off baseboards and not bend at the waist. In fact, I bet it's impossible. You try and let me know.

So now, I'm not dreading painting today. In fact, I'm kind of looking forward to it. Isn't Chuck great??!!

Bootcamp

Well, tomorrow morning Chuck and I are off to two full days of parenting bootcamp. We are excited and nervous all at once. On day one we will deal with our own crap. On day two we will learn how to deal with the crap our kids may have. The people who put this on have a ton of experience in dealing with kids who've been through trauma. And adoption is considered traumatic. So, we are ready to be challenged. We'd love your prayers, especially tomorrow. We paid a lot of money to attend this camp and we want to get as much out of it as we can. I'm hoping to come home tomorrow night with a lot less crap. :)

It's Just Not a Party...

until someone shows up. I tried to party alone on Monday and Tuesday, but it was lonely. Yesterday was much better, though. My friend Martha came over and she painted until I ran out of places to paint. (Yes, that is odd because I'm not done yet, but things needed to dry and others needed to be taped off still.) So, Martha, I publicly thank you for coming over and being my only painting party participant. It was so nice to get to talk to you. I sure hope that I can help you out when you are in need in the future.

Are you jealous that Martha got her own personal shout-out on the blog? Well, that could be you too if you come over today and help me paint. Nothing like a little bribery to get the work done. :)

Painting Update: The kitchen and living room and our room are done. The tape is kicking my butt in the kitchen, but I will win. The hallway needs one more coat of paint. Easy enough. I need to paint the pull down for the attic. I don't want to, but I will. The front door needs another coat of primer and then I will finish it with regular paint. The boys room doesn't need any paint because Chuck did that last fall. The office needs to be taped off and primed and painted. I'm not looking forward to that because the office is a small space with way too much furniture, including two huge bookcases. The window in there is done, so that is good. And after all that I will do touch ups. Me and the tape haven't had the best of luck, so touch ups are necessary. Oh, and the bathroom wainscoting needs one more coat of paint, but that is from an older project. Since the paint is out for the trim work I will finish that up. Chuck is responsible for all doors. I'm not sure where he's at with all of them, but I know that he still needs to completely paint our closet doors, our bedroom door, and the bifold closet doors in the hallway. He also has one more metal post of the porch. That is a lot to do for a guy with a job and an online class, but he's Chuck the Amazing and I know he will get it done.

I'll be painting today until 5 p.m. if anyone wants to join me. If you can't join me please pray that I get it all done. When I woke up this morning my whole body ached and begged me not to paint again. I can't paint the next two days because Chuck and I will be at a parenting bootcamp, so I'd really like to finish it all today.

Thanks for reading a really boring post. :)

And the Party Continues...

There's still plenty of painting to be done, so if anyone wants to help, the party will resume at 4 p.m. tomorrow (Tuesday). There will be pizza for dinner for anyone who comes over. Our house is not currently a super kid-friendly environment - you know, toxic paint, wet surfaces, paint smell, and even a little paint thinner.

And I'm sure I'll still be painting on Wednesday, beginning at 9 a.m. Lunch will be provided.

You Are Invited...

...to a painting party! (Insert applause here.) I've come to learn that I am neither a fast painter or taper. So, I've decided to name Monday "Painting Party Day at the Cason's." So, if you like to paint trim or baseboards, or if you just like to hang out with me, come on over anytime after 9 a.m. I will feed you. I will hug you. And I will totally love you for your help.

If you would like to help me, please shoot me an email at ittybitties@msn.com.

Thanks!

Painting

Well, I'm painting trim today. I've never really painted before and I like it. I don't, however, think I'll still like it when I'm done painting all the trim in our house. We will also be painting all of our doors and baseboards. I'm a messy painter. I'm covered in white. I sure hope I can get it all off. My plan is to use nail polish remover. Any other suggestions??

Our agent looked at our house yesterday and doesn't think we need to do a whole lot to it. It was our idea to paint the doors, baseboards, and trim to give our 40 year old house a more updated look. He thought it would be a good idea. It was really nice to hear from a real estate agent that we've got a nice house. It is definitely small, but we've put a lot into it and it was nice to be validated. He thinks he can sell it for how much we were hoping to sell it for. Yippee. Now we will pray that we can get a full price offer on it. We should be listing it early next week.

Tomorrow evening we should be going to look at the house we like with our agent. The average time it's taking to sell a house in this market is 4-6 months. So, we realize that perhaps this house isn't the "one." But we sure hope it is. If we are supposed to be in it, God is going to work everything out with the sale of our home.

Okay, it's time to make dinner. Hopefully I won't get any paint flecks in it!

Moving Forward...

Well, after lots of prayer and talking, we've decided to move forward with pursuing the house. Tomorrow afternoon we're planning to meet with our friend, Ed, who will also be our real estate agent. We're excited to move forward, but we're not looking forward to all the work we will need to do to our house to get it ready to sell. Please pray for us as we work on some projects around the house. We're sure that Ed will have some ideas on how to get the most for our house, so we should be staying busy these next few days.

I've realized a few other things about the house. It has a fireplace with a blower on it. The current owners said that they used it to heat the house last winter and didn't need to turn the heat on. They recently remodeled the bathroom...and they picked a lot of the same fixtures that we chose for our recent bathroom remodel. The living room is wired for surround sound. I hate surround sound, but Chuck loves it and he's excited that the wiring is already in place. And finally, we've been expecting to buy a two story condo. Chuck doesn't do well going up and down stairs because of his back. This house is one story, is a single family home, and still has the amount of space we desire.

So, that's the scoop. We're excited to see what God has in store.

Still Praying...

We are still praying about the house. The real estate agent we'd like to use is out of town until tomorrow evening, so we are able to continue praying without pushing forward in our own will. We still don't sense God saying no. In fact, the more closely we look at things, the more sense it makes to move there. Today I learned that the house is less than 5 miles and 15 minutes from where our church will meet this fall. We'd eventually like to move the church to another area, and that is less than 8 miles and 15 minutes from the house. Chuck's office would only be 3 miles closer, but the commute time would be far less because he would no longer have to travel through a congested tunnel. We were concerned that perhaps Chuck doesn't make enough money for us to buy this house, but our loan officer says we qualify for more than enough. Our monthly budget also says that we can afford it.

When I think about the house, there are a few things that really stand out in my mind. First of all, there's a great big den that's been added on. It would make the perfect room for our Gel Group (small group) to meet in. It would also be a wonderful room for the boys to play in as well as an overflow area for toys. It would also make a nice area for out of town guests to stay in as it's at the back of the house and has a bathroom off of it. We'd still have a living room at the front of the house, too. There's also a great big screened in porch off the back of the house. It would be great for entertaining on and it would also be a nice place for a lot of the boys' outside toys to stay (we already have a TON of toys). The yard is smaller than what we have, but that is good because a big yard is a lot of work for Chuck's bad back. The back yard already has a privacy fence in place and at the very back of the yard instead of privacy fencing there are hedges that are about 10 feet high. The windows are up really high, which makes Chuck happy because it's unlikely that anyone would break in through a window because of how high up they are. Two out of the three bedrooms have new, light colored berber carpeting. The room that we'd put the boys in, though, has a darker carpet. I wouldn't want them on light carpeting.

And finally, one more good thing is that because Chuck just left the military he's entitled to a military move for up to one year after he got out. So, our move would be professionally done. That might not be big to some people, but for Chuck and his bad back, it is precious.

So now I'll list the bad side of moving. We'd have a bigger mortgage payment as well as utility payments. We'd have to go through the stress of moving while planting a church and waiting for an international adoption to finalize. All of that is major big life change, not to mention that Chuck changed careers 2.5 months ago. That is a whole lot of stress and we know it.

So, we keep on praying. We want God's will in this, not our own. He knows what's best for us in this situation. He has a perfect plan, and we want to follow that plan, not our own.

One Way to Stay Busy

Chuck and I have been praying about moving to a nearby town for a number of months. The church campus that we are starting this fall is in that town, and we've just always felt that we'd better be able to minister to a community if we actually lived in it. Of course, we want to do what God wants us to do, so we've been waiting and praying.

We currently live in the least desirable city in our region. And we're okay with that. We like it here. The problem is that it isn't close to the areas that are important to us. The real estate market here is CRAZY, so buying a house is close to impossible when you are a single income family like ourselves. That is, of course, unless you are willing to live in the undesirable areas. So, we do just fine on Chuck's income living where we live. To move to the town where the church campus will meet is nearly impossible.

Last week, I realized that there is an undesirable part of that town. In fact, the city calls it by the name of another city; almost as though it's ashamed of it. It's kind of funny. I wish I could just name the cities, but since this blog is open to the public and I don't want to be stalked, I have to keep this kind of vague. Sorry! Anyway, I told Chuck about it on Saturday and we decided that we'd drive around that area after church. We were completely bummed as we drove around and found out that even the houses in the not-so-nice neighborhoods were going for a lot more than we want to pay.

I have a friend who works in the area and we stopped in to see her. She gave us some strict parameters of what neighborhoods are safe and which one's are not. So, we refined our search and just began driving up and down the roads. We didn't get too far before we found a house for sale by owner. We called on it to see what they were asking, and it was reasonable. So, we looked at it. And we REALLY like it. So now we are in the "Please, God, show us Your will in this" phase. So far He isn't saying no. Will you join us in prayer about this? The area is so stategically located to our region in general. It would put us A LOT closer to the new campus as well as the office Chuck works at.

This sure is one way to keep busy! Please, Lord, show us Your will!

"'If you can'?"

For the last week I've been having a struggle with my faith about our adoption. I'm not worried it won't happen, but I haven't been believing that God would bring our boys home any sooner than my expected timeframe (which is based off of my knowledge).

For the last few days the story about the healing of a boy with an evil spirit has been coming to mind, specifically the part where boy's father says, "If you can do anything..." I had progressed to a point where I would say things like, "If the boys come home in August." The protective wall was still in place to some extent. Yesterday morning as I read the whole story (Mark 9:14-29) I felt as though God was saying that I needed faith like a child to believe like I want to believe. So my question was, "How do I get that kind of faith?" And then I realized that I know too much. I know how long each step should take and I know how fast or slowly others are making it through the steps. I know all of this because I was subscribed to a number of online forums and I had a number of blogs that I checked daily, or even more often. God gave me a choice yesterday morning. I could go on with all my knowledge or I could keep my eyes on only Him. So, yesterday morning I unsubscribed from all the groups but my orphanage specific group (which, by the way, is set up to not share information about where we are all at in the process) and I deleted all the blogs out of my list of favorites except for the families that I know from our orphanage. I don't want to be in the know anymore. I want to keep my eyes on Jesus, knowing that He can do anything. I want faith like a child. I want Jesus to help me overcome my unbelief.

I know that I'm not the only person adopting from Haiti who has gone gotten so wrapped up in knowledge. I feel like there is someone who reads this blog who checks the forums and the blogs and does google searches. Please join me in trusting God and having faith that He can do anything despite what all the information out there says. I feel so much freedom now that I've decided to trust God and not rely on knowledge. I have more hope and a lot more time now that I'm not tied to the computer. And it's only been 23 hours!

Last night we went to a BBQ at the home of some friends who moved away last year. Away is only 35 minutes, but we don't see them nearly enough. They are wonderful people and I just tear up when I think about them because they are such a blessing to us. Well, they had some friends over from their new church and we got to sit and talk with them. It was such an uplifting night. They felt that the Lord was telling them things to tell us, so they told us. Chuck and I were so encouraged and blessed. I have to wonder if that could have happened if I hadn't been obedient to God yesterday morning. And I want to say that I don't think God would have said, "Oh, nevermind, she wasn't obedient so she doesn't get to have this experience." I think it would have been more like I wouldn't have let the experience happen or God couldn't let the experience happen.

I will go off on a tangent for a minute because I have an understanding of God that I want to share. I'm not a parent yet (some will argue that, but the boys don't live here yet) but I know that a lot of times parents will want to do something really nice for their kids. So, for example, say that you tell your kids that you will go and get icecream, but they are going to have to behave while at the park. At the park your kids behave terribly and they know they are behaving terribly, yet continue to do so. Now, the right thing to do is to not get the icecream. And I know some of you are saying, "Juli, sometimes you get them the icecream." And I'm saying, "No, you don't." Consequences are a real part of life and as parents it is our duty to teach that. Not in a mean, spiteful way, but in love. (I believe that it's important to teach kids about grace, too, but I believe there are better scenarios in which to do so.) There may even be times where you don't tell them about the icecream ahead of time, but you plan to take them for icecream after the park. Then, they misbehave and you decide against the icecream. They never even knew it was a possibility. So, they made choices that kept them from receiving a blessing from you. In that same way, I think that we make choices in life that put God into a position where He has to withhold blessings. And I think it breaks His heart. He loves us more than we can begin to fathom. The love that we have for our kids is just a fragment of the love that He feels for us. And He wants to bless us. But, being the perfect parent that He is, there are times when He knows it is best not to bless us because of the choices we make. And I repeat, it breaks His heart.

I'm not expecting blessings because I did the right thing yesterday morning. But, I do think that I've put myself in a better place to receive them. I also think that my faith will grow as a result of my obedience yesterday.

I'll end this post with the July pictures of the boys:

Smiley Samuel

Samuel with his, "Whatchu talking about Willis" look.

Noah posing for his picture, but forgetting to smile.

Noah, looking like he'd like to get his hands on the camera.

Another Dream

I woke up this morning from another wonderful adoption dream, only this time it was our turn! In this dream I was in Haiti. The boys were there and they were so much bigger and were not so much like babies. I was walking with them, one on each hip, and I was explaining to them that I was their mommy and that very soon they would be coming to live in our home. As I was walking and talking with them Linda, the Director of our Orphanage, came up with some wonderful news - that we had moved on to the next step in the process (which is called 2nd Legalization). I was thrilled! So once again, I'm starting my day with a sense of joy and hope about our adoption. Thanks God!!

Harder Than I Thought

Well, this new faith thing has been harder than I thought it would be. I'm still neurotic about checking my email for adoption process updates. My thinking is all jumbled whenever I think about our adoption, I think, because I'm afraid I'll slip back into practicality.

I did have a faith "win" this morning. My mom called to tell me that Target has 90% off on their 4th of July stuff, which includes some clothing. She was wanting to know if she could buy a bunch of clothes to donate to the orphanage. Usually I'd say yes because when we go to pick up the boys we won't be staying in Haiti (we will probably fly in and out on the same day) so we can take a ton of donations into Haiti and just leave it all there. Well, this morning I said, "If the boys come home in August we won't be able to take as many donations in because I have to pack a lot of stuff for the trip." Then we talked about how it would all work out - like if I would fly home with the boys by myself since Chuck won't be on the trip with me. The answer, in case you are wondering, is no way. Chuck would have to fly to Haiti and then fly home with us. He wouldn't miss that for the world!

I seem to do best when I'm kept REALLY busy. So hopefully I can stay really busy until I go to Haiti.

A Dream and New Faith

I had a wonderful dream on Saturday night. I must start off by saying that I almost never dream about our boys or our adoption process. Actually, I hardly ever dream.

In my dream I was in this great big room in Haiti, probably as big as a large gymnasium. There were tons of people - white and black, adults and kids. In this room appointments were happening that were making it possible for kids to go home to their forever families. It was loud and chaotic, but everyone was happily waiting to be called. There was happiness in the room because all the Haitian kids were very close to going home. Their American families were there with them. I watched as one family got called. They were adopting two Haitian kids. I began to cry so hard when they got called because I knew that meant they were very close to going home. Pictures of the Haitian kids were taken for their passports so that the passports could be made. Then they waited to get their passports.

In my dream I knew that it wasn't our turn. In fact, Chuck and the boys weren't there. It was like I was getting to watch it all happen. I wasn't upset at all that it wasn't our turn. I was just so thrilled to see that these kids were finally getting to go home.

I woke up with so much hope. If you know me well, you know that I wake up cranky. Not yesterday morning. I woke up very peaceful and thankful. God doesn't use dreams as an avenue to speak to me, so I'm not counting on my dream to predict anything. But, I believe that it was God's peace I woke up feeling yesterday.

My mom says that she's believing that our boys are coming home in August. From an adoption process perspective, that is absurd. But, I totally appreciate her faith. She has decided to fast from coffee until her grandson's are home and she's trusting God to honor that fast.

I've built this wall of protection around my heart because I really believed our boys would be home months ago. Because of that wall of protection I no longer pray for a specific month or hope that they'll be here for certain occasions. In fact, when people say, "When do you think they'll come home?" I won't even give a general timeframe answer anymore because it hurts too much when the proposed month passes. So, I guess my faith in all of this has given way to practicality and I don't believe our God is a practical God. I say that because of all the added bonuses He's included in life.

I sat outside last night and watched the fireflies (or lightning bugs) in my sister's backyard. God created a bug that lights up for a second or so as it flies around. Now is that practical? No, it's one of God's added bonuses. It's something special He made just for us. Can God bring our boys home next month? Absolutely! He could get them here today if He wanted to. So why do I doubt that He could get them here next month? The answer is easy: Because if that's not His will and I hope that it is I will be hurt. Again.

And this is the question that I come to this morning: Is faith in God's awesome ability to do whatever the heck He wants worth a little pain on my part? I have to answer yes. How could I not? Now I just need to put it into practice and luckily I have His strength within me to do just that. So as of today I will begin asking God to bring our boys home next month. I will kick down the wall around my heart and ask God for the unpractical, believing with all my heart that He can do it.

Sorry for rambling. I guess I needed to type all of that to get to this new place of faith.

Great News, But...

This morning we received the email that we've been waiting nearly 8 weeks for. We have received Judgment, which means that our boys now carry our last name! They are ours in the eyes of Haiti! The "but" part of this is that our dossier (adoption paperwork) wasn't released. It is being held "for review" by the office that had it for the 15 weeks prior to the last 8 weeks. Hello, didn't they have 15 WEEKS to review it??

Chuck and I are cautious to celebrate this step because our paperwork is still stuck. I truly believe this is a spiritual battle. And we're ready to fight with prayers to our Father in Heaven. And we'd like to ask you to join us. Chuck and I plan to fast on Thursday over this situation. If you feel led to, we'd love for you to join us in this fast. We know that God honors fasting. If you want to fast, but can't not eat, I'd suggest fasting from something you really enjoy for the day - like sodas or music or TV. Please join us in crying out to our Father for our boys in Haiti. Please pray that our paperwork can be released from this step so that we can move on to the next steps. Please pray that we'd experience shorter timeframes in the remaining steps. Once we are released, the absolute shortest timeframe we have to bring our boys home is 4 months. If we were released tomorrow, that would have them coming home at the beginning of November. They turn two on November 9th and we want them home for their birthday. Bringing them home after that gets really expensive because we will have to purchase them airline seats once they are two.

Thanks in advance for your prayers. They are what makes the difference!

Unexpected Trip

Thanks to Spirit Airlines and their wonderful "Penny Flights" I will be traveling to Haiti in August for just 5 days to see the boys! I cannot wait! Earlier this week our orphanage released dates for upcoming mission trips. My heart ached to go. I know that going to see the boys shouldn't come down to money, but it came down to money. I couldn't see spending all that money again. But, God is good and with some flight vouchers and my penny flight I'll probably fly for $100. The hotel we stay at is offering a super reduced rate for staying in their conference room. Those are the two BIG expenses and they will be quite minimal. Now I 'll only need to pay my mission trip fee and meals and tips! God is so good!