I'm not sure how many adoptive family readers I have these days...
But...
I'll put it out there anyway. We are dealing with severe fear of dogs with Noah. Samuel is scared, too, but Noah goes into hysterics and becomes completely irrational around dogs.
Here in Vegas we are staying with friends until we can get into a place of our own. They have a dog. We are not having good times here.
I realize that lots of people have had experience with kids being fearful of dogs. This is extreme. If you've dealt with an extreme fear issue with an adoptive child, I'd really like to hear from you. If you're not comfortable posting a comment, please email me at julicason@yahoo.com.
Thanks.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Thank You
My last post was pretty dreary. Sorry about that. It's not all rainbows and unicorns here and I believe in being honest.
I just wanted to pop in and say thank you to those of you who have left me encouraging comments and for your prayers. I am feeling a little better. For the time being, we have a little routine going on. Yes, we are living out of suitcases, but they are lined up all nice and neat right now :)
Along with my thanks, I ask for continued prayer. Please pray that our marriage can weather this stress. Pray for the kids to feel secure and loved and cared for. Pray for health for us. Some other items... please pray for our house in Virginia to sell or rent out SOON. Please pray that Chuck's minivan (we left it in VA) would sell and that it would sell for what it's worth. Please pray for Chuck's job situation... that he either get funding enough to support our family as an intern at the church or that he lands a good job in Las Vegas.
Again, thanks for your encouragement and for lifting us in prayer. It is so needed right now.
I just wanted to pop in and say thank you to those of you who have left me encouraging comments and for your prayers. I am feeling a little better. For the time being, we have a little routine going on. Yes, we are living out of suitcases, but they are lined up all nice and neat right now :)
Along with my thanks, I ask for continued prayer. Please pray that our marriage can weather this stress. Pray for the kids to feel secure and loved and cared for. Pray for health for us. Some other items... please pray for our house in Virginia to sell or rent out SOON. Please pray that Chuck's minivan (we left it in VA) would sell and that it would sell for what it's worth. Please pray for Chuck's job situation... that he either get funding enough to support our family as an intern at the church or that he lands a good job in Las Vegas.
Again, thanks for your encouragement and for lifting us in prayer. It is so needed right now.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Ugh.
Truth be told, I'm not doing so well.
Being in prolonged transition isn't fun. I need order and organization and a plan. I'm just winging it. And I'm doing okay for the most part. I have dropped the ball on a few things that have unfortunately been expensive. Ugh. Not a good time for expensive mistakes for the Cason family.
I have A LOT to be thankful for. So many people and circumstances have been just awesome. We are staying with Chuck's brother and sister-in-law and they are just great. We have a really good set up here and the kids feel secure. I couldn't ask for more in that respect.
It's just hard for me to not look at the hard stuff, too. I'm a pessimist at heart. Tristan is sick and has been for a week now. My sleep has been affected and that's no good. Spending time with God has not happened in days. I'm praying A LOT, but that just doesn't cut it for me. I have cried more in this last week than I have in years. It's just a lot to deal with and it's hard. I would really like to just spend a day with the covers over my head, but that's just not in my future. Ugh.
So there you have it. Ugh.
Being in prolonged transition isn't fun. I need order and organization and a plan. I'm just winging it. And I'm doing okay for the most part. I have dropped the ball on a few things that have unfortunately been expensive. Ugh. Not a good time for expensive mistakes for the Cason family.
I have A LOT to be thankful for. So many people and circumstances have been just awesome. We are staying with Chuck's brother and sister-in-law and they are just great. We have a really good set up here and the kids feel secure. I couldn't ask for more in that respect.
It's just hard for me to not look at the hard stuff, too. I'm a pessimist at heart. Tristan is sick and has been for a week now. My sleep has been affected and that's no good. Spending time with God has not happened in days. I'm praying A LOT, but that just doesn't cut it for me. I have cried more in this last week than I have in years. It's just a lot to deal with and it's hard. I would really like to just spend a day with the covers over my head, but that's just not in my future. Ugh.
So there you have it. Ugh.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
We Made It!
This post is coming to you live from Las Vegas, my new home.
Gosh that sounds weird. The whole thing is just weird.
Anyway, just wanted to record how things went today, mostly so that God can get the glory and so that my pessimistic self will have to read about today and how well it all went.
First of all, me and all three kids slept in until nearly 8. EIGHT. That never happens. Tristan was up in the middle of the night coughing and ended up in bed with me, but I still got sleep. Awesome.
We've been staying with a wonderful friend, Dana, since Sunday night. I can't tell you how grateful I am for her. She is God sent and God really has used her to take care of us in so many ways lately. We love her like family. Dana's sister in law, Amy, loaded us all up and our crazy luggage into her Suburban and took us to the airport this morning. She also lent us a portable DVD player since we had over 6 hours in the air between the two flights.
The guy who helped us get our luggage from the curb all the way through getting checked in was phenominal. He stayed with us in line and helped us get our luggage tagged, weighed, etc. He even helped me pull items out of one slightly overweight suitcase.
We made it through security with no problems whatsoever. The boys did great. I highly recommend putting your kids in sandals to get through security. We put our shoes and socks on while waiting to board the plane.
Now, our plane was 35 minutes late, but it gave me the opportunity to feed the kids lunch. We just had a little picnic of pb&j's while waiting to board.
We ended up further back in both planes than we wanted to be. It was suggested we sit toward the front since the front flight attendant has less people to take care of (on Southwest, that is). We had no problems sitting further back, though. Noah and Samuel colored and Tristan took a little nap. He did some crying, but since he's not feeling well he has lost the high pitch noises he makes. That to me is totally God using bad for good. Yes, it sucks that Tristan doesn't feel well, but God used it to save many a person's eardrums and dirty looks directed my way.
On the second flight the boys watched Peter Pan. Then I had them rest for a while. I knew we were going to be up way past bedtime, so I tried to get them to nap (with the help of Benedryl). Noah totally zonked out for well over an hour. Samuel sat quietly. He doesn't really nap anymore, but at least he rested quietly. I finally felt bad enough for him that I put on Peter Pan again since it was out.
Noah woke up crying... he usually does when he wakes up on a trip and he's strapped in. I got him settled down and then the boys watched Cars until we had to turn the DVD player off.
I'm just so proud of Noah and Samuel. They were nearly perfect today (though completely bouncing off the walls in the airports, but they were excited). Their favorite show right now is Dinosaur Train on PBS. We rode on a shuttle to the hotel and it was very reminiscent of the train on that show. They were more excited to be chilling in the front seats on the shuttle than anything else all day.
We are settled into the hotel now. Dana helped us get in and then hung out for a little while. All three kids went down without a fuss.
I honestly couldn't have asked for a better trip. THANK YOU, GOD!!
Oh, and I didn't take a single picture. Things went well, but I was very busy the whole time :)
Gosh that sounds weird. The whole thing is just weird.
Anyway, just wanted to record how things went today, mostly so that God can get the glory and so that my pessimistic self will have to read about today and how well it all went.
First of all, me and all three kids slept in until nearly 8. EIGHT. That never happens. Tristan was up in the middle of the night coughing and ended up in bed with me, but I still got sleep. Awesome.
We've been staying with a wonderful friend, Dana, since Sunday night. I can't tell you how grateful I am for her. She is God sent and God really has used her to take care of us in so many ways lately. We love her like family. Dana's sister in law, Amy, loaded us all up and our crazy luggage into her Suburban and took us to the airport this morning. She also lent us a portable DVD player since we had over 6 hours in the air between the two flights.
The guy who helped us get our luggage from the curb all the way through getting checked in was phenominal. He stayed with us in line and helped us get our luggage tagged, weighed, etc. He even helped me pull items out of one slightly overweight suitcase.
We made it through security with no problems whatsoever. The boys did great. I highly recommend putting your kids in sandals to get through security. We put our shoes and socks on while waiting to board the plane.
Now, our plane was 35 minutes late, but it gave me the opportunity to feed the kids lunch. We just had a little picnic of pb&j's while waiting to board.
We ended up further back in both planes than we wanted to be. It was suggested we sit toward the front since the front flight attendant has less people to take care of (on Southwest, that is). We had no problems sitting further back, though. Noah and Samuel colored and Tristan took a little nap. He did some crying, but since he's not feeling well he has lost the high pitch noises he makes. That to me is totally God using bad for good. Yes, it sucks that Tristan doesn't feel well, but God used it to save many a person's eardrums and dirty looks directed my way.
On the second flight the boys watched Peter Pan. Then I had them rest for a while. I knew we were going to be up way past bedtime, so I tried to get them to nap (with the help of Benedryl). Noah totally zonked out for well over an hour. Samuel sat quietly. He doesn't really nap anymore, but at least he rested quietly. I finally felt bad enough for him that I put on Peter Pan again since it was out.
Noah woke up crying... he usually does when he wakes up on a trip and he's strapped in. I got him settled down and then the boys watched Cars until we had to turn the DVD player off.
I'm just so proud of Noah and Samuel. They were nearly perfect today (though completely bouncing off the walls in the airports, but they were excited). Their favorite show right now is Dinosaur Train on PBS. We rode on a shuttle to the hotel and it was very reminiscent of the train on that show. They were more excited to be chilling in the front seats on the shuttle than anything else all day.
We are settled into the hotel now. Dana helped us get in and then hung out for a little while. All three kids went down without a fuss.
I honestly couldn't have asked for a better trip. THANK YOU, GOD!!
Oh, and I didn't take a single picture. Things went well, but I was very busy the whole time :)
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Geeked.
That would be the best word to describe how Noah and Samuel are feeling about flying on an airplane tomorrow.
Nauseous.
That would be how I'm feeling about it. Please pray we all make it there in one piece and with my sanity still intact. I'm so thankful my friend Dana is flying with us. SO THANKFUL.
If I'm able to actually take some pictures of our travels, I will. No promises, folks.
Nauseous.
That would be how I'm feeling about it. Please pray we all make it there in one piece and with my sanity still intact. I'm so thankful my friend Dana is flying with us. SO THANKFUL.
If I'm able to actually take some pictures of our travels, I will. No promises, folks.
Friday, December 11, 2009
True Blue Tristan
I'm busier than heck with packing and stuff for the upcoming move, but this photo just caught my eye and I had to share it.
This is Tristan to the core. I am not a photographer, don't aspire to be one, and don't have the time to learn how to take better pics at all. While the quality is poor, this photo still captures our little guy.
Enjoy :)
Click to enlarge
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
One Week...
... is all I have left in Virginia.
(Gosh I'd rather just be singing the Bare Naked Ladies song instead.)
Happy.
Sad.
Excited.
Overwhelmed.
Scared.
Thrilled to get away from the crazy rainfall we've had here.
Unable to grasp that I won't see these people. Maybe ever again. You'd think having relocated 3 times before would better prepare me for the range of emotions. It doesn't. I'm an emotional mess.
I'm packing up the majority of the house tomorrow. A great friend is helping me out. I'm so thankful for her :)
Oh, Lord, please help us get through these crazy days ahead!
Your prayers would be so appreciated :)
(Gosh I'd rather just be singing the Bare Naked Ladies song instead.)
Happy.
Sad.
Excited.
Overwhelmed.
Scared.
Thrilled to get away from the crazy rainfall we've had here.
Unable to grasp that I won't see these people. Maybe ever again. You'd think having relocated 3 times before would better prepare me for the range of emotions. It doesn't. I'm an emotional mess.
I'm packing up the majority of the house tomorrow. A great friend is helping me out. I'm so thankful for her :)
Oh, Lord, please help us get through these crazy days ahead!
Your prayers would be so appreciated :)
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
First Haircut!
See the natural mohawk? 
Well, we did it. On Saturday we took Tristan for his first haircut. His hair is bone straight like mine and it was really long in the back and scruffy around the ears.
I've posted before about Tristan's double cowlicks. He has two on the top of his head that push his hair into a natural mohawk. I really thought the hairdresser would have some kind of magic skills to make those cowlicks cooperate. She didn't. We can either accept them and do the mohawk look or we can shave it. We didn't want to shave it.
Tristan was so good. He only moved or fussed when she got close to his ears. I was amazed that she could cut a moving target!
Just one more reminder that my baby is growing up. Sigh.
Then new do!Friday, November 27, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Thankful
Thanksgiving this year was SO different than Thanksgiving last year.
Last year at Thanksgiving we had only been parents for a little over 3 months. We still had a decent language barrier going on with Noah and Samuel. We were just coming out of the newborn phase with Tristan. We were a mess. A hot mess. My house was never clean. Heck, I was rarely clean.
My Dad was here last year on Thanksgiving and that was awesome. Seeing him get to meet Noah and Samuel and interact with them was special. Very special. He had met Tristan when he was just a few weeks old when we were stuck in Florida trying to get to Haiti to get the twins.
This year no one woke up until 7:30. What a blessing! A year ago my days ended late and started early with many wake-ups inbetween. Our Thanksgiving meal was cooked by 2:00 and I had everything cleaned up by 3:30. Everyone but me napped from 4-5... and Chuck and the twins napped until 6! I spent that hour relaxing by myself looking at all the sales ads. Then Tristan and I hung out until everyone woke up. We had turkey sandwiches and pumpkin pie. Then the boys watched Up while I took a bath.
This year was relaxing. I'm so thankful for that because a year ago my life was anything but relaxing. And I just thought it would always be like that. I had no concept of how things might change and get easier. I just assumed things would always be that hard.
But so much has changed. We sleep... most nights all the way through. Tristan might get up earlier than I like, but he sleeps in long stretches now. We are able to communicate effectively with Noah and Samuel. Their understanding of words, phrases and concepts amazes me. It is extraordinary. And the biggest change is that I've relaxed. I was hypervigilant last year. It's like I couldn't catch my breath. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop... constantly. I was just so afraid. We were thrust into parenting unlike most people (though I'm not sure how parents of multiples do it in the beginning... I can't imagine having more than one infant!) and we just had to find our way. And I'm so thankful that we have. I can breathe again. I'm not waiting for the other shoe (or anything else for that matter) to drop. And for the most part, I'm not afraid like I was. I can remember lying in bed at night last year thinking through all the scenarios of what could go wrong and how I would respond. Going places with all three was an event. Getting them all to church on Sunday mornings without Chuck's help (remember, he works there so he goes in early) was HARD. I just look back on all of it with a giant sigh of relief. I'm so thankful we are in the place we are now.
I'm thankful that we are all pretty much healthy. Sure, we've had a few infections here and there, but overall we are a healthy bunch. Even Chuck's chronic cough was figured out this last year (allergy to milk). I'm thankful for how God provides for all our needs. And He even gives us some of our wants, too. He has provided us with some pretty awesome friends as well.
I'll end with the friend I'm most thankful for. I'm thankful for Nicole. I've known Nicole for years, but we've gotten close over the last 18 or so months. Nicole started coming over once a week about a year ago. She has dinner with us and hangs out with me after the kids are in bed. Every week! She has been the only consistent person besides us in our kids' lives. They pray for her nearly every night. And she has stood by me through some really hard times. She's the one who would get the phone calls at 9 p.m. from me saying, "I'm just so scared all the time." And she'd listen and share some of her own experience with fear. And she'd tell me that I was going to be okay when I wasn't sure I would be. Nicole has been Jesus to our family during some really rough times. She listens and she doesn't judge. I'm so thankful I have a friend like that (and I stand in complete denial about moving away!). Nicole, I love you and I thank Jesus for you! You will have to take many trips to Las Vegas!!
So, what are you thankful for this year? I pray that your day was full of thanksgiving!
Last year at Thanksgiving we had only been parents for a little over 3 months. We still had a decent language barrier going on with Noah and Samuel. We were just coming out of the newborn phase with Tristan. We were a mess. A hot mess. My house was never clean. Heck, I was rarely clean.
My Dad was here last year on Thanksgiving and that was awesome. Seeing him get to meet Noah and Samuel and interact with them was special. Very special. He had met Tristan when he was just a few weeks old when we were stuck in Florida trying to get to Haiti to get the twins.
This year no one woke up until 7:30. What a blessing! A year ago my days ended late and started early with many wake-ups inbetween. Our Thanksgiving meal was cooked by 2:00 and I had everything cleaned up by 3:30. Everyone but me napped from 4-5... and Chuck and the twins napped until 6! I spent that hour relaxing by myself looking at all the sales ads. Then Tristan and I hung out until everyone woke up. We had turkey sandwiches and pumpkin pie. Then the boys watched Up while I took a bath.
This year was relaxing. I'm so thankful for that because a year ago my life was anything but relaxing. And I just thought it would always be like that. I had no concept of how things might change and get easier. I just assumed things would always be that hard.
But so much has changed. We sleep... most nights all the way through. Tristan might get up earlier than I like, but he sleeps in long stretches now. We are able to communicate effectively with Noah and Samuel. Their understanding of words, phrases and concepts amazes me. It is extraordinary. And the biggest change is that I've relaxed. I was hypervigilant last year. It's like I couldn't catch my breath. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop... constantly. I was just so afraid. We were thrust into parenting unlike most people (though I'm not sure how parents of multiples do it in the beginning... I can't imagine having more than one infant!) and we just had to find our way. And I'm so thankful that we have. I can breathe again. I'm not waiting for the other shoe (or anything else for that matter) to drop. And for the most part, I'm not afraid like I was. I can remember lying in bed at night last year thinking through all the scenarios of what could go wrong and how I would respond. Going places with all three was an event. Getting them all to church on Sunday mornings without Chuck's help (remember, he works there so he goes in early) was HARD. I just look back on all of it with a giant sigh of relief. I'm so thankful we are in the place we are now.
I'm thankful that we are all pretty much healthy. Sure, we've had a few infections here and there, but overall we are a healthy bunch. Even Chuck's chronic cough was figured out this last year (allergy to milk). I'm thankful for how God provides for all our needs. And He even gives us some of our wants, too. He has provided us with some pretty awesome friends as well.
I'll end with the friend I'm most thankful for. I'm thankful for Nicole. I've known Nicole for years, but we've gotten close over the last 18 or so months. Nicole started coming over once a week about a year ago. She has dinner with us and hangs out with me after the kids are in bed. Every week! She has been the only consistent person besides us in our kids' lives. They pray for her nearly every night. And she has stood by me through some really hard times. She's the one who would get the phone calls at 9 p.m. from me saying, "I'm just so scared all the time." And she'd listen and share some of her own experience with fear. And she'd tell me that I was going to be okay when I wasn't sure I would be. Nicole has been Jesus to our family during some really rough times. She listens and she doesn't judge. I'm so thankful I have a friend like that (and I stand in complete denial about moving away!). Nicole, I love you and I thank Jesus for you! You will have to take many trips to Las Vegas!!
So, what are you thankful for this year? I pray that your day was full of thanksgiving!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Outside the Camp
Tomorrow marks three weeks until I move to Las Vegas. My life gets completely turned upside down in about 2 1/2 weeks because we are packing up the house 3 days before me and the boys fly out and Chuck leaves 2 days before we fly out. My gracious friend, Dana, has offered for me and the boys to stay with her. She has NO IDEA what she has invited into her quiet home!
I really thought these last few weeks would look different than they do. I thought we would be out with friends and catching up with people, but we are not. I guess the holidays are not a good time to be moving away. My mind is just now starting to really realize that there are some people I'm probably not going to see again. Ever. Wow. I didn't expect this feeling of lonliness to set in before we get to Las Vegas. It is very weird.
I've been making a special effort to stay close to God during this time. Today I finished a wonderful workbook study on the Beatitudes. It's from the "Following God" series and it's called "Renewing the Heart for Women... Life Principles from the Beatitudes" by Barbara Henry. I HIGHLY recommend it. The final study was about walking with Jesus as it pertains to suffering. My heart was opened to all kinds of new ideas about what it means to suffer for Christ.
One of the points in today's study was based out of Hebrews 13:12-16. Barbara Henry talks about "the camp" and what that means. For me, it means my comfort zone. Not necessarily material comfort, but also my routine... monthly budget... local grocery store... etc. The camp, for me, is safe and predictable. Outside of the camp... well that's scary. It's full of unknowns, maybe even persecution.
Going to Las Vegas is definitely going outside of the camp for us. It is full of unknowns. When we get there, we are staying with friends until our house here sells. I don't want to do that! Chuck and I are going to sell his van before we leave so we don't have to get to vehicles across the country and we will share a vehicle when we get there. I don't like to share my van! Chuck has to fundraise his salary and we still have a ways to go to be fully funded. I don't want to be poor! And on top of all of that, my routine is going to Hell in a handbasket!
Hebrews 13:14 speaks of "the city that is to come." And that is why we are going. I don't expect to be comfortable in Las Vegas. It is a sinful place full of broken and hurting people. And they are why we are going... because eternity is real and they will either spend it in "the city that is to come" or they will spend it in Hell. If Jesus could suffer like He did for me, I can certainly go and be uncomfortable in Las Vegas.
I used to think that if I served God, I deserved certain things... good health, safety and health for my kids and family, a place to live, etc. I don't think that anymore. And after today's study I'm more and more expecting persecution of some sort. The more time I spend with the Lord, the more I realize that knowing Him intimately far outweighs all that other stuff. Preparing to go "outside the camp" has proven to be a lonely path for us... but I'm growing closer to God because of it and that is such a blessing. I'm reminded that Mother Teresa, who served God wholeheartedly, experienced intense lonliness. I'm not even comparable to Mother Teresa... I just realize that choosing to go outside the camp like we have means choosing lonliness.
I spoke with a friend recently who has moved out to Las Vegas and she expressed how lonely it has been for her. The idea of going out to Las Vegas to help start a church is a very exciting and adventurous thing for me. And while it may be a surprisingly lonely path, I'm really not alone because I have God right there with me and I'm learning to draw comfort from Him. And as I direct more and more of my thoughts toward Him, I find that it's okay to be lonely... to be uncomfortable... and to even be persecuted.
So, I'm adjusting to the idea of being "outside the camp." And more importantly, I'm drawing closer to my Creator because of it.
I really thought these last few weeks would look different than they do. I thought we would be out with friends and catching up with people, but we are not. I guess the holidays are not a good time to be moving away. My mind is just now starting to really realize that there are some people I'm probably not going to see again. Ever. Wow. I didn't expect this feeling of lonliness to set in before we get to Las Vegas. It is very weird.
I've been making a special effort to stay close to God during this time. Today I finished a wonderful workbook study on the Beatitudes. It's from the "Following God" series and it's called "Renewing the Heart for Women... Life Principles from the Beatitudes" by Barbara Henry. I HIGHLY recommend it. The final study was about walking with Jesus as it pertains to suffering. My heart was opened to all kinds of new ideas about what it means to suffer for Christ.
One of the points in today's study was based out of Hebrews 13:12-16. Barbara Henry talks about "the camp" and what that means. For me, it means my comfort zone. Not necessarily material comfort, but also my routine... monthly budget... local grocery store... etc. The camp, for me, is safe and predictable. Outside of the camp... well that's scary. It's full of unknowns, maybe even persecution.
Going to Las Vegas is definitely going outside of the camp for us. It is full of unknowns. When we get there, we are staying with friends until our house here sells. I don't want to do that! Chuck and I are going to sell his van before we leave so we don't have to get to vehicles across the country and we will share a vehicle when we get there. I don't like to share my van! Chuck has to fundraise his salary and we still have a ways to go to be fully funded. I don't want to be poor! And on top of all of that, my routine is going to Hell in a handbasket!
Hebrews 13:14 speaks of "the city that is to come." And that is why we are going. I don't expect to be comfortable in Las Vegas. It is a sinful place full of broken and hurting people. And they are why we are going... because eternity is real and they will either spend it in "the city that is to come" or they will spend it in Hell. If Jesus could suffer like He did for me, I can certainly go and be uncomfortable in Las Vegas.
I used to think that if I served God, I deserved certain things... good health, safety and health for my kids and family, a place to live, etc. I don't think that anymore. And after today's study I'm more and more expecting persecution of some sort. The more time I spend with the Lord, the more I realize that knowing Him intimately far outweighs all that other stuff. Preparing to go "outside the camp" has proven to be a lonely path for us... but I'm growing closer to God because of it and that is such a blessing. I'm reminded that Mother Teresa, who served God wholeheartedly, experienced intense lonliness. I'm not even comparable to Mother Teresa... I just realize that choosing to go outside the camp like we have means choosing lonliness.
I spoke with a friend recently who has moved out to Las Vegas and she expressed how lonely it has been for her. The idea of going out to Las Vegas to help start a church is a very exciting and adventurous thing for me. And while it may be a surprisingly lonely path, I'm really not alone because I have God right there with me and I'm learning to draw comfort from Him. And as I direct more and more of my thoughts toward Him, I find that it's okay to be lonely... to be uncomfortable... and to even be persecuted.
So, I'm adjusting to the idea of being "outside the camp." And more importantly, I'm drawing closer to my Creator because of it.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Stats
All three of our boys were seen by the wonderful Dr. D this week. Noah and Samuel had their 4 year well check up and Tristan had his 15 month appointment. Noah and Samuel were also seen by the dentist. Their teeth are cavity free. Oh, and Noah DOES NOT like the dentist. Not even a little. Good times.
Anyway, I thought I'd share where our little guys are at, growth wise.
Noah was 42 1/2 inches tall (90th percentile) and 40 1/2 lbs (75th percentile).
Samuel was 41 1/2 inches tall (90th percentile) and 39 1/2 lbs (75th percentile).
Tristan was 32 inches tall (75th percentile) and 23 lbs 5 oz (25th percentile).
Up until shorts weather, N&S were fine in 3T pants for the most part. Noah could wear a 4T, but had mostly 3T's. Since they are slender, they wore 3T shorts all summer. I realized at the beginning of summer that we needed 4T shirts because their bellies were hanging out. 4T shirts are covering their bellies, but they need a 5T if I buy them long sleeves because their arms are so long. It won't be long (really, they could wear them now, I'm sure) before we are in 5T pants for length. They are tall. However, they are thin so I have to buy them adjustable waists whenever possible. Both boys are wearing size 13 shoes. They have grown SO much in 14 months. I'm pretty sure they came home at 27 lbs (Samuel) and 29 lbs (Noah). Oh, and I have to mention, Samuel's legs are completely fine. We had him rechecked by the orthopedist a few months ago and his legs are no longer bowed. AMAZING.
Tristan wears 12 and 18 months clothing. He is like me... long torso, short legs. So, he can get away with 12 month pants. Most of his tops are 18 months. He is wearing a size 5 shoe. I heard that many babies slow down on weight gain once they start walking. That seems to be true for Tristan. Believe me, he eats. Sometimes he eats the same portion size as me.
Sometimes I stand back in awe of how these kids are growing. I'm just amazed by our Creator and how He grows kids up. Noah and Samuel were in rough shape when they came home (though not nearly as bad as some kids... I will NEVER take that for granted). It is just so amazing to me that if you feed a body what it needs, it just blossoms.
I'm a stickler for healthy eating for my kids. I truly believe you have to start young on making healthy eating a habit for life. My kids get fruit or vegetables with every meal (yes, we do miss sometimes). We also eat home cooked meals most of the time (and occasionally we eat out or have fast food). I try to stay away from foods full of chemicals. I just try to be very aware of what I'm putting into their little developing bodies. I'm not nearly as vigil and freakish as some parents out there... not that I fault them... I just don't have the energy to be super vigilant. I feel that if I can teach my kids healthy habits they will have a better chance at health in the future. And so far, they are healthy. We have very little sickness here. And they are obviously all thriving.
So, that's where they are at. Rose Ann mentioned how big the twins are getting and asked what size they are wearing. It's kind of funny that I was planning this post on stats. So, there you go!
Anyway, I thought I'd share where our little guys are at, growth wise.
Noah was 42 1/2 inches tall (90th percentile) and 40 1/2 lbs (75th percentile).
Samuel was 41 1/2 inches tall (90th percentile) and 39 1/2 lbs (75th percentile).
Tristan was 32 inches tall (75th percentile) and 23 lbs 5 oz (25th percentile).
Up until shorts weather, N&S were fine in 3T pants for the most part. Noah could wear a 4T, but had mostly 3T's. Since they are slender, they wore 3T shorts all summer. I realized at the beginning of summer that we needed 4T shirts because their bellies were hanging out. 4T shirts are covering their bellies, but they need a 5T if I buy them long sleeves because their arms are so long. It won't be long (really, they could wear them now, I'm sure) before we are in 5T pants for length. They are tall. However, they are thin so I have to buy them adjustable waists whenever possible. Both boys are wearing size 13 shoes. They have grown SO much in 14 months. I'm pretty sure they came home at 27 lbs (Samuel) and 29 lbs (Noah). Oh, and I have to mention, Samuel's legs are completely fine. We had him rechecked by the orthopedist a few months ago and his legs are no longer bowed. AMAZING.
Tristan wears 12 and 18 months clothing. He is like me... long torso, short legs. So, he can get away with 12 month pants. Most of his tops are 18 months. He is wearing a size 5 shoe. I heard that many babies slow down on weight gain once they start walking. That seems to be true for Tristan. Believe me, he eats. Sometimes he eats the same portion size as me.
Sometimes I stand back in awe of how these kids are growing. I'm just amazed by our Creator and how He grows kids up. Noah and Samuel were in rough shape when they came home (though not nearly as bad as some kids... I will NEVER take that for granted). It is just so amazing to me that if you feed a body what it needs, it just blossoms.
I'm a stickler for healthy eating for my kids. I truly believe you have to start young on making healthy eating a habit for life. My kids get fruit or vegetables with every meal (yes, we do miss sometimes). We also eat home cooked meals most of the time (and occasionally we eat out or have fast food). I try to stay away from foods full of chemicals. I just try to be very aware of what I'm putting into their little developing bodies. I'm not nearly as vigil and freakish as some parents out there... not that I fault them... I just don't have the energy to be super vigilant. I feel that if I can teach my kids healthy habits they will have a better chance at health in the future. And so far, they are healthy. We have very little sickness here. And they are obviously all thriving.
So, that's where they are at. Rose Ann mentioned how big the twins are getting and asked what size they are wearing. It's kind of funny that I was planning this post on stats. So, there you go!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Birthday Parties
Last year we didn't have much of a celebration for Noah and Samuel. About all any of us could handle was a quiet celebration at home. So, it was rather fitting that we had TWO parties for them this year.
The first party was just with some immediate family in Michigan. Chuck had a speaking engagement in mid October, so we decided to have cake, ice cream and presents with my family while there. My sister decorated everything with Cars and the boys opened presents from the family. The highlight was that they got bikes from Grandma and Grandpa Herb. They had been waiting FOREVER for their bikes.
On their actual birthday on November 9, we didn't do anything. I told them that it was their birthday, but that we would have a birthday party with FRIENDS and JUMPING on Saturday. I went back and forth on the type of party I would throw for them. I would have liked to have had a party here at the house, but November is just so iffy here in Virginia. We ended up having a party at an indoor inflatable park and I'm so glad we did. The weather was dreadful that day, so I'm so thankful we didn't plan the party here.
Noah, Samuel and 14 of their little friends jumped and ran and slid and bumped heads and had a BLAST. Us parents were able to enjoy some time talking as the kids had fun. It was a great party setting and I'd highly recommend it. My only regret is that I had booked us for a smaller party and then realized we'd need to book a bigger party. By the time I made that realization, we were too late to switch into a bigger party room, so the pizza, cake and presents time was crammed and most of the parents just stayed outside the room.
We made the decision a long time ago that we will never sing Happy Birthday to both boys at the same time. They are individuals and deserve their own song. We sang to Samuel first and he wasn't sure what to think with the lights off and everyone singing off-key. After he blew out his candle it took me a moment to get the cake and Noah's candle situated. Once we were all set, Noah exclaimed, "OKAY!" letting us know we were all ready. He was so excited to be sung to! He totally enjoyed all of us singing and focusing our attention on him for a moment.
My dear friend, Amanda (who has the cutest, tiniest little girls who just LOVE LOVE LOVE my boys) took pictures while the boys unwrapped gifts. Chuck took a ton of video footage, but I'm not sure if that will make it to the blog. We tend to wait a looooong time before actually downloading it from the camera (kind of like me and pictures from my camera...).
Anyway, please enjoy the pictures. I have pictures from both parties. (I apologize for the quality of the photos. I have a not-so-great camera and I'm not at all a photographer.) I absolutely loved throwing parties for these two. I had no idea I'd be so excited for their parties, but I was.
Noah and Daddy
Samuel
It was dark... so you can't see just how excited they were!
Noah
Samuel
Suffering through Mommy reading a
Presents!!
A Cars cake, of course!
Lilly and Mya
The first party was just with some immediate family in Michigan. Chuck had a speaking engagement in mid October, so we decided to have cake, ice cream and presents with my family while there. My sister decorated everything with Cars and the boys opened presents from the family. The highlight was that they got bikes from Grandma and Grandpa Herb. They had been waiting FOREVER for their bikes.
On their actual birthday on November 9, we didn't do anything. I told them that it was their birthday, but that we would have a birthday party with FRIENDS and JUMPING on Saturday. I went back and forth on the type of party I would throw for them. I would have liked to have had a party here at the house, but November is just so iffy here in Virginia. We ended up having a party at an indoor inflatable park and I'm so glad we did. The weather was dreadful that day, so I'm so thankful we didn't plan the party here.
Noah, Samuel and 14 of their little friends jumped and ran and slid and bumped heads and had a BLAST. Us parents were able to enjoy some time talking as the kids had fun. It was a great party setting and I'd highly recommend it. My only regret is that I had booked us for a smaller party and then realized we'd need to book a bigger party. By the time I made that realization, we were too late to switch into a bigger party room, so the pizza, cake and presents time was crammed and most of the parents just stayed outside the room.
We made the decision a long time ago that we will never sing Happy Birthday to both boys at the same time. They are individuals and deserve their own song. We sang to Samuel first and he wasn't sure what to think with the lights off and everyone singing off-key. After he blew out his candle it took me a moment to get the cake and Noah's candle situated. Once we were all set, Noah exclaimed, "OKAY!" letting us know we were all ready. He was so excited to be sung to! He totally enjoyed all of us singing and focusing our attention on him for a moment.
My dear friend, Amanda (who has the cutest, tiniest little girls who just LOVE LOVE LOVE my boys) took pictures while the boys unwrapped gifts. Chuck took a ton of video footage, but I'm not sure if that will make it to the blog. We tend to wait a looooong time before actually downloading it from the camera (kind of like me and pictures from my camera...).
Anyway, please enjoy the pictures. I have pictures from both parties. (I apologize for the quality of the photos. I have a not-so-great camera and I'm not at all a photographer.) I absolutely loved throwing parties for these two. I had no idea I'd be so excited for their parties, but I was.
Noah and Daddy
Samuel
It was dark... so you can't see just how excited they were!
Noah
SamuelMy sister hooked them up with Cars outfits
and hats and all sorts of other Cars stuff.
Suffering through Mommy reading a card and waiting to open presents.
Presents!!
A Cars cake, of course!
Lilly and MyaThe love between these girls and my boys is PRECIOUS.
CAKE!!
CAKE!!And yes, they had the same Cars cake at this party, too!
Samuel with a freshly opened gift from Sam.
Noah opening a gift.
Happy Birthday, Noah!
Happy Birthday, Samuel!
Friends!
More friends!!
Noah climbing up.
Samuel... really, he was having a good time.
Samuel sliding
Noah with Samuel and Lilly in the background.
Noah
Noah climbing up.
Samuel with a freshly opened gift from Sam.
Noah opening a gift.
Happy Birthday, Noah!
Happy Birthday, Samuel!
Friends!
More friends!!
Noah climbing up.
Samuel... really, he was having a good time.
Samuel slidingI have to note that just 7 months ago neither of
the boys was able to play here... it was just too
overwhelming for them. They've come so far!
Noah with Samuel and Lilly in the background.
Noah
Noah climbing up.Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Pointing and Stuff
Tristan started pointing in the last week. He points to let us know he wants his milk or more food (which is on a plate on the table that he can't reach since he can't be trusted to not throw it).
Something Tristan has been doing for the last month is batting his hand on his mouth while making noise. His hand is palm out instead of palm in and he doesn't exactly bat it... he kind of quickly bends it, but gets the same effect.
My mom was super impressed last month that Tristan will bounce a ball back and forth with someone. She thinks he's brilliant. We do, too, of course, but we don't know if the ball bouncing makes him so.
Last night at dinner Tristan repeated the word "noodle." He won't say it again, but we clearly heard it.
It's just amazing to watch a baby grow from a newborn, capable of almost nothing, to a toddler.
In other news...
Something Tristan has been doing for the last month is batting his hand on his mouth while making noise. His hand is palm out instead of palm in and he doesn't exactly bat it... he kind of quickly bends it, but gets the same effect.
My mom was super impressed last month that Tristan will bounce a ball back and forth with someone. She thinks he's brilliant. We do, too, of course, but we don't know if the ball bouncing makes him so.
Last night at dinner Tristan repeated the word "noodle." He won't say it again, but we clearly heard it.
It's just amazing to watch a baby grow from a newborn, capable of almost nothing, to a toddler.
In other news...
- The November Nor'easter (known in our house as the "Storm from Hell") has made our internet intermittent. It worked perfectly through the storm, but now we are constantly resetting things to get internet to work. Thankfully we had no damage to our home and never lost power. Chuck's van lost a window. The storm was basically like a mild hurricane.
- Noah and Samuel celebrated their 4th birthday with friends this past Saturday. Once I get pictures uploaded I will blog all about that. It was FUN.
- We move to Las Vegas in 29 days. That is crazy.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Goodbye, Gracie and Sabrina
Sabrina Louise
Grace MarieThese two cats taught me about love.
'
We made the decision a while back that we would give our cats away before our upcoming move. They just weren't happy anymore. They were our kids before kids and then the kids got here and they just didn't get the attention they were used to. Then the kids started terrorizing them every chance they got. Gracie and Sabrina's quality of life just wasn't what we wanted for them.
'
So, we started looking for a family for them. We wanted them to stay together since they are from the same litter and have been together for the last 8+ years. The ideal family would have no other pets or small kids.
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'
I finally got desperate and posted them on Craig's List. And finally someone called. Sarah called today and was eager to come and meet them. We grilled her. She just lost her cat and doesn't have other animals. Or kids. Her husband is in the Navy so he's gone a lot. She's home and can give the cats attention.
'
We gave her our kids before kids.
'
'
We are sad, but also enjoying some new freedoms. Like leaving a glass of water on the counter. And opening the door without fear of a cat running out. The list goes on. We will miss them, but we are glad they are in a better environment.
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This whole "moving" thing is getting more an more real. Giving away our family members today opened my eyes wider to the fact that we are outta here soon. Denial is slipping away...
Saturday, November 07, 2009
All-body
I don't want to forget this one...
Noah is VERY verbal. He needs to talk. Even if he has nothing to talk about, he is going to talk to you and you better look in his eyes when he's talking to you! Samuel will choose not to speak if he's not sure how to express something. Noah will just make stuff up or pull words together in unique ways to express himself.
Lately he's been using "all-body" and we like it so much that we find ourselves saying it too.
All-body takes the place of everyone or everybody. Noah will talk about how all-body is eating. "Mama is eating. Daddy is eating. Tristan is eating. Samuel is eating. And Noah is eating. We're alllll-body eating." He draws out the all for effect, too.
We LOVE it. Today I used it at naptime. "We're allll-body taking a nap." And we did! :)
Noah is VERY verbal. He needs to talk. Even if he has nothing to talk about, he is going to talk to you and you better look in his eyes when he's talking to you! Samuel will choose not to speak if he's not sure how to express something. Noah will just make stuff up or pull words together in unique ways to express himself.
Lately he's been using "all-body" and we like it so much that we find ourselves saying it too.
All-body takes the place of everyone or everybody. Noah will talk about how all-body is eating. "Mama is eating. Daddy is eating. Tristan is eating. Samuel is eating. And Noah is eating. We're alllll-body eating." He draws out the all for effect, too.
We LOVE it. Today I used it at naptime. "We're allll-body taking a nap." And we did! :)
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Really, God?
I have said those two words so many times. Sometimes life seems to throw me a curve ball and I just have to say, "Really, God?"
Like when we totally thought the Coast Guard was going to send us to California in 2004 and instead Chuck's detailer "forgot about him." Really, God? We ended up staying in the Hampton Roads area and our lives have been so enriched here. Thank you, God.
Or when we lost a baby in April, 2005 to miscarriage. Really, God? It was such a heartwrenching experience - pain I wish on no one. But if we hadn't experienced that miscarriage, we wouldn't have started our adoption later that year.
Or maybe when I distinctly heard God tell me I needed to go to Haiti in July of 2005. Really, God? And I went. And that swung open the door to adopting from Haiti.
Or how about when we learned in January of 2006 that the orphan I cared for back in July - the one we wanted to adopt - had a family. Really, God? Then, the very next day we received the referral for Noah and Samuel.
Or how about when we learned that Chuck would never be deployable again after his back surgery and that meant his Coast Guard career was over. Really, God? After 10 years in the milirary it all comes to an end? And God provided a medical retirement for Chuck.
Honestly, I could go on and on.
My most recent "Really, God?" experience has to do with starting a church in Michigan. "Really, God, fundraising is not going to come through?" "Really, God, there isn't a single job for Chuck?" "You're closing the door on this, God? Really? But we told everyone we were going."
When it comes to starting a church, there are a few ways to do it. The first is to fundraise hundreds of thousands of dollars and begin having church services in a rented (or possibly owned) space with paid staff, equipment, etc. That was the route we were hoping to go. However, the rough economic times have made it impossible to raise that kind of money. There are church planting organizations that give money to new churches, but right now they are out of money. Another option we had was for Chuck to find a regular job and then build our ministry from our home. The big problem with this model is that Chuck was not able to find a job. Unemployment is extreme in Michigan. The collapse of the auto industry has had tremendous impact on employment in Michigan. Without a job, we would need to live with family. And we don't have family that has a big enough home to host us long term, if needed. As we prayed about all these things we came to the harsh reality that going to Michigan right now is just not an open door. Gosh, how I wrestled with God over that. If He called us there, why was He making it impossible to go?? I'm not sure. I don't know the answer. I have some theories, though.
Perhaps God simply broke Chuck's heart for Michigan. A little over a year ago Chuck became very burdened for southeast Michigan. Did we mistaken that burden for a calling? I don't know.
Maybe God wanted to see if our hearts were willing. I have shared here before - one of the last places on earth I want to move to is Michigan. The climate is rough there. I drive horrible in the snow. For Chuck, there is no surf and cold weather is physically painful for him because of his back. But we were willing to go if that's where God wanted us. And maybe God just wanted to know if we were willing. I don't know.
Another theory is that God pointed us toward Michigan to get us moving, and then would show us something else (which He did, keep reading). You see, we were long-term committed to Chesapeake, VA. We felt that if we started the church campus in Chesapeake, we needed to commit at least 5 years to it. So maybe God broke Chuck's heart for MI in order to get us moving. Again, I don't know.
I'm really not sure why things have happened the way they have, but they have. There are just some things I'm not going to understand this side of Heaven, and maybe this is one of them. We are fully open to going to MI if that's where God wants us, but right now He's not making it possible for us to go.
So, the next question is what do we do now? Some would say that we should just stay put. However, God has made it clear to us through many circumstances, situations, and people that our time here has come to a close. A lot of that has been rather painful and I won't go into detail about all of that. We simply know that it is time to move on.
So, where are we going? I'm so glad you asked. We are going to Las Vegas and we are leaving in 6 weeks!!
If that seems completely crazy, let me share some things.
The founding pastor of the church that we are currently at left last year to start a church on the Las Vegas strip. Part of his story is that his father ruined his family in Las Vegas gambling. So it's quite poetic that God would send him there to reach out to people just like his father. When Vince announced to our church that he was leaving to start this church he made it clear that he was not taking any staff with him. Our church would have enough change to process through with his family's departure so he didn't want to add to that burden by taking other staff members with him. Right after the meeting Chuck told him, "Man, if I could I'd pack my bags and go with you." And Vince replied, "Well you can't." End of story, right? Wrong.
In June our church's leadership made the tough decision to close the Chesapeake campus. By then we had shared that we were going to eventually go to Michigan to start a church (though at that time we thought it would be a few years because we were committed to Chesapeake for 5 years). That is when we began moving forward with plans to go to Michigan, so Chuck was planning to leave our church, not because anyone was "taking him."
Well, as the doors began to slam shut to Michigan, we began to think and pray about Las Vegas. Well, let me correct that. Chuck began to think and pray about Las Vegas. I wouldn't because I was close-minded to anything besides Michigan. Even though those doors were slamming shut, I felt like we needed to go there because that's what God said.
In late September I surrendered my closed mind to God and told Him that I would open my mind to the idea of going to Las Vegas. All the while, Vince and Chuck were talking frequently about what things would look like if our family moved to Las Vegas. Vince wanted Chuck to come and intern at Verve and Chuck very much wanted the experience of helping to start a new church with Vince. As Chuck prayed, he felt peace about moving our family to Las Vegas. And I can't underestimate that peace because relocating a young family like ours across the country is a big deal.
In early October I went to Las Vegas for 6 days with an open mind and heart. I went with a few other girls and we visited with Jen, Vince's wife. She is one of my best friends and it was so good to see her. We talked at length about the closed doors in Michigan and how our time was over in Virginia. I told her I just wasn't sure what we should do. That particular night I asked God to speak to me through the shuffled music I was listening to on my iPod. The songs I heard spoke of a desert and the Valley of the Bones. I won't say that "God spoke to me" with those songs, but I definitely take them into consideration.
So, Chuck and I have decided (and believe me, it's after MUCH prayer) that we will go to Las Vegas for at least the next two years to help launch Verve Church. From there, we will go as God leads. If He asks us to go to Michigan, we are willing. If he sends us out on the mission field, we will be honored to go. If He asks us to stay in Vegas or go anywhere else, we stay or go as He leads.
After making this decision, we've had so much peace. And that is just crazy! We are 6 weeks out from relocating our family across the country to a new climate, a new home; new everything! And we feel peace about this decision. In fact, we feel excitement. And broken heartedness, too. There are a lot of hurting people in Las Vegas. "Anything goes" there and the things I've learned about what happens in Las Vegas and in Nevada in general just breaks my heart. My eyes have been opened to the sex slave industry. It is awful.
As a side note, I don't want to discount the hurting people in Michigan. It is really hard times there. Harder than most people in this country have experienced. You can't understand it until you've been there. I can't compare the hurting people in Las Vegas with the hurting people in southeast Michigan. Chuck's heart was truly broken last year for Michigan and it has been tough to acknowledge the closed doors there. On our last trip to Michigan Chuck was really encouraged to learn of a church 20 minutes away from where we wanted to start a church. He was unaware of this church up until recently and after meeting with the Lead Pastor there, he sees that there is a good church in the area that he can pray for and direct people to.
I haven't even begun to think about leaving all my friends here behind. I'm very focused on all the details that need to come together for our move, so I'm not really thinking about the things I'll leave behind. The familiarity of my favorite grocery store, mall, etc. We've lived in this area for over 7 years now and we've put down some serious roots. The friendships we've made are incredible and I tend to go into denial about leaving all of that behind. So, if I seem unemotional about leaving, please know that it's just a defense mechanism - I really do care!
Our family will, of course, be busy over the next 6 weeks, but not to busy to spend time with our friends here. We look forward to spending time with everyone we love before we go. Please don't think for a second that we are too busy to spend time with you.
So, there you have it! Vegas, here we come!!!
Red Rock Canyon, one of the most beautiful places I've ever been
Like when we totally thought the Coast Guard was going to send us to California in 2004 and instead Chuck's detailer "forgot about him." Really, God? We ended up staying in the Hampton Roads area and our lives have been so enriched here. Thank you, God.
Or when we lost a baby in April, 2005 to miscarriage. Really, God? It was such a heartwrenching experience - pain I wish on no one. But if we hadn't experienced that miscarriage, we wouldn't have started our adoption later that year.
Or maybe when I distinctly heard God tell me I needed to go to Haiti in July of 2005. Really, God? And I went. And that swung open the door to adopting from Haiti.
Or how about when we learned in January of 2006 that the orphan I cared for back in July - the one we wanted to adopt - had a family. Really, God? Then, the very next day we received the referral for Noah and Samuel.
Or how about when we learned that Chuck would never be deployable again after his back surgery and that meant his Coast Guard career was over. Really, God? After 10 years in the milirary it all comes to an end? And God provided a medical retirement for Chuck.
Honestly, I could go on and on.
My most recent "Really, God?" experience has to do with starting a church in Michigan. "Really, God, fundraising is not going to come through?" "Really, God, there isn't a single job for Chuck?" "You're closing the door on this, God? Really? But we told everyone we were going."
When it comes to starting a church, there are a few ways to do it. The first is to fundraise hundreds of thousands of dollars and begin having church services in a rented (or possibly owned) space with paid staff, equipment, etc. That was the route we were hoping to go. However, the rough economic times have made it impossible to raise that kind of money. There are church planting organizations that give money to new churches, but right now they are out of money. Another option we had was for Chuck to find a regular job and then build our ministry from our home. The big problem with this model is that Chuck was not able to find a job. Unemployment is extreme in Michigan. The collapse of the auto industry has had tremendous impact on employment in Michigan. Without a job, we would need to live with family. And we don't have family that has a big enough home to host us long term, if needed. As we prayed about all these things we came to the harsh reality that going to Michigan right now is just not an open door. Gosh, how I wrestled with God over that. If He called us there, why was He making it impossible to go?? I'm not sure. I don't know the answer. I have some theories, though.
Perhaps God simply broke Chuck's heart for Michigan. A little over a year ago Chuck became very burdened for southeast Michigan. Did we mistaken that burden for a calling? I don't know.
Maybe God wanted to see if our hearts were willing. I have shared here before - one of the last places on earth I want to move to is Michigan. The climate is rough there. I drive horrible in the snow. For Chuck, there is no surf and cold weather is physically painful for him because of his back. But we were willing to go if that's where God wanted us. And maybe God just wanted to know if we were willing. I don't know.
Another theory is that God pointed us toward Michigan to get us moving, and then would show us something else (which He did, keep reading). You see, we were long-term committed to Chesapeake, VA. We felt that if we started the church campus in Chesapeake, we needed to commit at least 5 years to it. So maybe God broke Chuck's heart for MI in order to get us moving. Again, I don't know.
I'm really not sure why things have happened the way they have, but they have. There are just some things I'm not going to understand this side of Heaven, and maybe this is one of them. We are fully open to going to MI if that's where God wants us, but right now He's not making it possible for us to go.
So, the next question is what do we do now? Some would say that we should just stay put. However, God has made it clear to us through many circumstances, situations, and people that our time here has come to a close. A lot of that has been rather painful and I won't go into detail about all of that. We simply know that it is time to move on.
So, where are we going? I'm so glad you asked. We are going to Las Vegas and we are leaving in 6 weeks!!
If that seems completely crazy, let me share some things.
The founding pastor of the church that we are currently at left last year to start a church on the Las Vegas strip. Part of his story is that his father ruined his family in Las Vegas gambling. So it's quite poetic that God would send him there to reach out to people just like his father. When Vince announced to our church that he was leaving to start this church he made it clear that he was not taking any staff with him. Our church would have enough change to process through with his family's departure so he didn't want to add to that burden by taking other staff members with him. Right after the meeting Chuck told him, "Man, if I could I'd pack my bags and go with you." And Vince replied, "Well you can't." End of story, right? Wrong.
In June our church's leadership made the tough decision to close the Chesapeake campus. By then we had shared that we were going to eventually go to Michigan to start a church (though at that time we thought it would be a few years because we were committed to Chesapeake for 5 years). That is when we began moving forward with plans to go to Michigan, so Chuck was planning to leave our church, not because anyone was "taking him."
Well, as the doors began to slam shut to Michigan, we began to think and pray about Las Vegas. Well, let me correct that. Chuck began to think and pray about Las Vegas. I wouldn't because I was close-minded to anything besides Michigan. Even though those doors were slamming shut, I felt like we needed to go there because that's what God said.
In late September I surrendered my closed mind to God and told Him that I would open my mind to the idea of going to Las Vegas. All the while, Vince and Chuck were talking frequently about what things would look like if our family moved to Las Vegas. Vince wanted Chuck to come and intern at Verve and Chuck very much wanted the experience of helping to start a new church with Vince. As Chuck prayed, he felt peace about moving our family to Las Vegas. And I can't underestimate that peace because relocating a young family like ours across the country is a big deal.
In early October I went to Las Vegas for 6 days with an open mind and heart. I went with a few other girls and we visited with Jen, Vince's wife. She is one of my best friends and it was so good to see her. We talked at length about the closed doors in Michigan and how our time was over in Virginia. I told her I just wasn't sure what we should do. That particular night I asked God to speak to me through the shuffled music I was listening to on my iPod. The songs I heard spoke of a desert and the Valley of the Bones. I won't say that "God spoke to me" with those songs, but I definitely take them into consideration.
So, Chuck and I have decided (and believe me, it's after MUCH prayer) that we will go to Las Vegas for at least the next two years to help launch Verve Church. From there, we will go as God leads. If He asks us to go to Michigan, we are willing. If he sends us out on the mission field, we will be honored to go. If He asks us to stay in Vegas or go anywhere else, we stay or go as He leads.
After making this decision, we've had so much peace. And that is just crazy! We are 6 weeks out from relocating our family across the country to a new climate, a new home; new everything! And we feel peace about this decision. In fact, we feel excitement. And broken heartedness, too. There are a lot of hurting people in Las Vegas. "Anything goes" there and the things I've learned about what happens in Las Vegas and in Nevada in general just breaks my heart. My eyes have been opened to the sex slave industry. It is awful.
As a side note, I don't want to discount the hurting people in Michigan. It is really hard times there. Harder than most people in this country have experienced. You can't understand it until you've been there. I can't compare the hurting people in Las Vegas with the hurting people in southeast Michigan. Chuck's heart was truly broken last year for Michigan and it has been tough to acknowledge the closed doors there. On our last trip to Michigan Chuck was really encouraged to learn of a church 20 minutes away from where we wanted to start a church. He was unaware of this church up until recently and after meeting with the Lead Pastor there, he sees that there is a good church in the area that he can pray for and direct people to.
I haven't even begun to think about leaving all my friends here behind. I'm very focused on all the details that need to come together for our move, so I'm not really thinking about the things I'll leave behind. The familiarity of my favorite grocery store, mall, etc. We've lived in this area for over 7 years now and we've put down some serious roots. The friendships we've made are incredible and I tend to go into denial about leaving all of that behind. So, if I seem unemotional about leaving, please know that it's just a defense mechanism - I really do care!
Our family will, of course, be busy over the next 6 weeks, but not to busy to spend time with our friends here. We look forward to spending time with everyone we love before we go. Please don't think for a second that we are too busy to spend time with you.
So, there you have it! Vegas, here we come!!!
Red Rock Canyon, one of the most beautiful places I've ever been
Halloween!
Samuel thoroughly enjoying his ice cream
Noah was more into the cookie
Chuck caught in the act of stealing a bite of corndog
Me and the boys after the hayride
The pirate loving trio
My poor attempt of getting a pic of the familywhile on the hayride. Tristan got left out :(
I guess he'll be traing for a while
Happy doctor!
No pacifier!
Our pirates
Arrrg! Showing off their "hooks"
Chuck's pumpkin creation
The twins picked the dragon... it was not easy
Noah & Samuel jumped on the trampoline for aloooooong time while Daddy carved the pumpkin
Pumpkin guts!We were so excited for Halloween this year. Last year the boys had only been home for 8 weeks and were afraid of EVERYTHING. I am not exaggerating. We bought them pumpkin face orange shirts and called it good. We put them to bed at 7 and handed out candy to the few trick or treaters that came. Tristan was only 11 weeks old so he wore a Halloween sleeper and hung out with Chuck on the porch waiting for trick or treaters. I remember feeling very overwhelmed that night and wondering if we would ever get to a "normal" place.
Well, this year was TOTALLY different. The boys didn't really know exactly what was coming. They thoroughly enjoyed carving a pumpkin with Daddy in early October. We brought them to various stores to aquaint them with costumes and masks, etc. They were pretty freaked out by the scary costumes, but were okay with regular costumes. I was not a good planner, so I didn't get them costumes until the day before Halloween. And no, I didn't have them pick them out. I probably could have spent more time preparing them so that they could pick out a costume, but I think they will be able to do that next year and for years to come, so I'm not too ashamed that I picked their costumes for them. It's still a step up from last year!
So, I got the boys Pirate costumes. Chuck has made sure that they are into pirates. And recently a friend's son gave them a cool pirate ship hull that they love. Chuck was in his GLORY dressing them up as Pirates. He added bandana's to their costumes and we also had one eye patch and one pirate hat... but the boys weren't too into keeping those on.
Tristan had a few costume options - a bear or a doctor. Since it was so warm and muggy, we went with the doctor costume since it was lighter weight. We have toy doctor kits so he had some props, too.
We decided to go to a local church's Trunk or Treat. It ended up being a full-on harvest festival. Noah and Samuel were leery as we entered... they were just kind of taking in all the sights, sounds, and smells. We had only one freakout... Noah did not like the man-sized Yo Gabba Gabba character handing out candy from his trunk. Probably the neatest part of the night was a quick hayride. Chuck and I had never been on one!
After the festival we went for ice cream. We wanted to create a special Halloween tradition, and we decided on going for ice cream after. I know, it doesn't make much sense... but we wanted something special that no one else does. And since the ice cream shop was empty, I'm guessing we chose right!
I did not expect to have so much fun (remember, taking all three out to new experiences isn't always easy), but I really did have a blast. It was so fun to watch the boys have a new experience, all the while acting as pirates. Tristan was perfect - he just chilled in his stroller all night.
I'm sure next year will be even more fun!
Saturday, October 31, 2009
A Good Place
A number of times today I've been close to tears as I reflect on my sweet family. I tend to be a detail girl, so it's very hard for me to step back and see the bigger picture. Today as I stood washing dishes I was able to take a step back for a moment and realize just how blessed I am.
The truth is that most days I stay stuck in the details... the in-my-face details of daily living. It is not easy having three kids as young as we do, but I'm finding myself more and more comfortable as a mom. I have blogged about it before, but I spent the better part of a year terrified. Last year was just a really hard year on so many levels. Multiplying our family so quickly was not easy on me. In addition to that I had friends walk away, hard familiy situations, Chuck had minor surgery that required a long recovery, and the closing of the campus of our church that we helped start. I did not walk through all of that with amazing grace, but I did manage to get through it.
And now that I'm on the other side of that year, I realize that we were not in a good place for a while there. It took more time than I'd have thought to adjust to more than doubling our family. On top of that, the twins were terrified of everything. There were so many things that we couldn't do that other families were doing simply because our kids couldn't handle it. We had to stay cocooned for a while and that was hard. Some people understood that and some did not. I got tired of trying to explain it, so I stopped. My focus needs to be on my family, not on what other people think about our family. I've had a number of conversations that have helped me understand that not many people understood just how rough our adjustment was. Maybe I didn't realize how rough it was as I was going through it, but looking back - man, it was rough!
Today I realized that we are in a really good place. And that's kind of funny because we are in a time of dramatic change as we plan to pack up this party and relocate. Chuck and I are more comfortable as parents. Somedays we even know what we are doing :) Noah and Samuel are just blossoming more and more. They are speaking English fluently so communication is there. We know their triggers. We know when they are tired. Or hungry. Or thirsty. Or struggling with attachment. We just know them now and that makes such an impact. Freakouts are rare now. We can leave them with a babysitter! Tristan is at a hard age since he's into everything (and he's so dang tall that he can reach more and more things!), but I find this age easier than the newborn days because he was such a needy baby. Tristan continues to be a super snuggler. He melts my heart all the time. On the other hand, he is SUCH a stinker. He is definitely strong willed and we are encountering all kinds of fun (that's sarcastic) behaviors.
When Chuck has to leave early in the morning, I'm no longer afraid of getting through breakfast on my own. Getting out the door to go somewhere is no longer an ORDEAL. I can manage all three kids on my own out in public (but I still won't take them grocery shopping!). Meals are OK, even if it's just me and the boys. I just have a lot more confidence than I once did. And I'm caring less and less of what others think... something I have always struggled with and there is so much freedom and grace for myself in that. I'm learning to ask for help... what a gift! I've learned that no, I can't do it all. Even if I try to be supermom I still can't do it all. And today I'm okay with that. I have dealt with some HARD things and I'm okay. And I can't type another sentence without point to God and thanking Him for getting me to this place. Being in a good place is because I'm spiritually in a good place. And for me, that simply means I recognize my daily need for God's help.
So yeah, the Cason's are in a good place. This too shall pass, but I'm going to enjoy it while it's happening!
**And in case you are wondering, yes there are Halloween pictures. They will be posted soon.**
The truth is that most days I stay stuck in the details... the in-my-face details of daily living. It is not easy having three kids as young as we do, but I'm finding myself more and more comfortable as a mom. I have blogged about it before, but I spent the better part of a year terrified. Last year was just a really hard year on so many levels. Multiplying our family so quickly was not easy on me. In addition to that I had friends walk away, hard familiy situations, Chuck had minor surgery that required a long recovery, and the closing of the campus of our church that we helped start. I did not walk through all of that with amazing grace, but I did manage to get through it.
And now that I'm on the other side of that year, I realize that we were not in a good place for a while there. It took more time than I'd have thought to adjust to more than doubling our family. On top of that, the twins were terrified of everything. There were so many things that we couldn't do that other families were doing simply because our kids couldn't handle it. We had to stay cocooned for a while and that was hard. Some people understood that and some did not. I got tired of trying to explain it, so I stopped. My focus needs to be on my family, not on what other people think about our family. I've had a number of conversations that have helped me understand that not many people understood just how rough our adjustment was. Maybe I didn't realize how rough it was as I was going through it, but looking back - man, it was rough!
Today I realized that we are in a really good place. And that's kind of funny because we are in a time of dramatic change as we plan to pack up this party and relocate. Chuck and I are more comfortable as parents. Somedays we even know what we are doing :) Noah and Samuel are just blossoming more and more. They are speaking English fluently so communication is there. We know their triggers. We know when they are tired. Or hungry. Or thirsty. Or struggling with attachment. We just know them now and that makes such an impact. Freakouts are rare now. We can leave them with a babysitter! Tristan is at a hard age since he's into everything (and he's so dang tall that he can reach more and more things!), but I find this age easier than the newborn days because he was such a needy baby. Tristan continues to be a super snuggler. He melts my heart all the time. On the other hand, he is SUCH a stinker. He is definitely strong willed and we are encountering all kinds of fun (that's sarcastic) behaviors.
When Chuck has to leave early in the morning, I'm no longer afraid of getting through breakfast on my own. Getting out the door to go somewhere is no longer an ORDEAL. I can manage all three kids on my own out in public (but I still won't take them grocery shopping!). Meals are OK, even if it's just me and the boys. I just have a lot more confidence than I once did. And I'm caring less and less of what others think... something I have always struggled with and there is so much freedom and grace for myself in that. I'm learning to ask for help... what a gift! I've learned that no, I can't do it all. Even if I try to be supermom I still can't do it all. And today I'm okay with that. I have dealt with some HARD things and I'm okay. And I can't type another sentence without point to God and thanking Him for getting me to this place. Being in a good place is because I'm spiritually in a good place. And for me, that simply means I recognize my daily need for God's help.
So yeah, the Cason's are in a good place. This too shall pass, but I'm going to enjoy it while it's happening!
**And in case you are wondering, yes there are Halloween pictures. They will be posted soon.**
Thursday, October 15, 2009
First Words
So, Tristan has been saying Mama and Dada for a while now. He's 14 months old today and I realize some babies say a lot of words by this age and some don't. We have one that doesn't and we are not at all concerned. In addition to calling us by name, he also barks like a dog and teases us mercilessly. We are not concerned about this (or any, really) area of development.
Yesterday Tristan mimicked a word for the first time ever. If you don't really know Chuck, this won't mean as much to you. But for those of you who do know him, you'll probably laugh out loud. Tristan's first word (besides the obligatory Mama and Dada) is dude. Yes, DUDE. Dude happens to be one of Chuck's most-used words.
For the record, Tristan repeated it while playing with his brothers. He has a stuffed turtle that he loves. If you've seen Finding Nemo, you'll remember the turtle named Crush and how he and his son have a routine of knocking heads and saying, "Dude." When the boys brought Tristan his turtle they said, "Dude." And Tristan repeated it. I will admit, it sounded like, "boob." But I knew what he was saying.
So there you have it. Chuck's son's first real word is Dude. Lovely.
Yesterday Tristan mimicked a word for the first time ever. If you don't really know Chuck, this won't mean as much to you. But for those of you who do know him, you'll probably laugh out loud. Tristan's first word (besides the obligatory Mama and Dada) is dude. Yes, DUDE. Dude happens to be one of Chuck's most-used words.
For the record, Tristan repeated it while playing with his brothers. He has a stuffed turtle that he loves. If you've seen Finding Nemo, you'll remember the turtle named Crush and how he and his son have a routine of knocking heads and saying, "Dude." When the boys brought Tristan his turtle they said, "Dude." And Tristan repeated it. I will admit, it sounded like, "boob." But I knew what he was saying.
So there you have it. Chuck's son's first real word is Dude. Lovely.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
So much to say...
... but the words aren't there yet.
I am still alive.
I realize it's been a while since I've posted.
It will be a while longer.
I am still alive.
I realize it's been a while since I've posted.
It will be a while longer.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Happy Birthday, Noah and Samuel??
Noah and Samuel on their third birthday.'
Yesterday was an eventful day. We had two birthday parties to attend, one in the morning and one in the late afternoon. The boys have become very interested in birthdays over the last few months and after watching Tristan celebrate his 1st birthday, they really want it to be their birthday, too.
'
Last year when they turned three they had only been home for nine weeks and didn't understand what was going on on their birthday. We chose not to have a party because it would have been way to overwhelming for them. We had a quiet celebration at home, instead.
'
In addition to the normal birthday excitement, Grandma has promised the boys bikes for their birthdays... but there is a condition. They need to put ALL their peepee and poopoo in the toilet. They are at about 98% with that. I'm certain they will get the bikes!
'
Lately, out of the blue, the boys will say any of the following: "I need cake." Cake to them means birthday. Noah especially says this and he says it totally out of the blue. Whenever they see a lit candle at someone's house (I don't burn candles at home... way too scared one of the boys will get burned...) they begin to sing "Happy Birthday." They equate any type of lit candle with birthdays. I think that is hilarious! "Happy Birthday, Noah and Samuel??" They ask this question a lot. They are checking in to see if it is their turn yet. Somedays they just wake up thinking about their birthday. And they ask about it at bedtime, too. It didn't help that the other day Sesame Street had a birthday themed show!
'
I find it all very endearing. Yes, they want cake and presents and to be the center of attention... but they spent their first two birthdays in an orphanage (I did get to be with them on their first birthday, though) and came home with no comprehension of what a birthday was. Last year was just sad because they were so uninterested in the cake, balloons, etc. This year they are WAY excited and that makes me happy. They are being "regular little boys," and that does this mommy's heart well.
'
Yesterday at the a.m. birthday, their friend Brodie turned three. Most of his gifts were "Cars" related. The boys LOVE Cars. Samuel played while Brodie was opening presents, but Noah sat with me for a good portion of it and watched. And every few minutes he would turn to me and say, "I want Noah and Samuel birthday, too!" He wasn't bratty or whiny... just really wanting it to be his turn. We talked about how it was Brodie's turn and how one day soon it would be Noah and Samuel's turn.
'
The late afternoon birthday was for their friend down the street, Jaime. He also turned three. His party theme was Spiderman (who the boys love and called Ty-man when they first came home), but many of his gifts were Cars related. After he opened presents he invited all his friends to play with his new toys and Noah and Samuel were way excited to do that. Again, both boys expressed their desire for it to be "Noah and Samuel's birthday, too."
'
Tonight Chuck and I talked about what we will do for their birthday. We are going to be in MI toward the end of October, which is not too far from their birthday (11/09). We will probably do some kind of celebration with our family there. We were thinking of not doing a party here, but after watching them really enjoy being at other birthday parties, I want to give them the opportunity to be celebrated among their peers. So, now the big thought in my mind is what to do for their birthday. I'm totally hoping that our house is sold before their birthday, but then I also would love to have one last party here. Ah, what to do, what to do?? That's what I'll be thinking about for the next few days.
'
And I'm sure I won't forget to think about it since I'm sure they will be asking about their birthday! :)
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Gotcha Day Pictures
The boys had fun using chopsticks.
After seeing fire, for the rest of the night Noah wanted to make the fire happen.
Amazingly, they loved the soup.
Samuel figured it out after we told him to drink it.
Samuel got a turtle visor and Noah got a fish visor.Of course they were Crush and Nemo from Finding Nemo.
The boys were afraid at first, but LOVED the fountains.
Noah loved putting his head in the water.
Noah on the train.
Samuel was SO excited to be on the train.
Chillin' in the van.For Gotcha Day, we took just Noah and Samuel out. Wow, two kids are easier than one! Tristan spent the day with some great friends and we are so thankful for their help.
'
We started our day at the zoo. We ate lunch there and then wandered around. The boys were interested in the animals, but were crazy excited about the train and water fountains.
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After the zoo, we needed to burn some time before heading to dinner, so we went to the mall play area. Chuck and I enjoyed some Starbucks while the boys burned some energy.
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For dinner, we took the boys to a Japanese steakhouse. We thought they would enjoy it and we were right. They were in awe and loved the food. They especially loved when food was tossed at them to catch in their mouths (and by the way, I was the only one at our table who succeeded in catching it!). And unfortunately, Chuck now tosses their vitamins like that. Such boys. All of them!
'
I can't believe Noah and Samuel have been home for over a year now. I have a lot of thoughts to share about Gotcha Day, but that will be another day.
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