A Lonely Place

It is my goal to write this post from a graceful heart, even though my heart hurts.

In the last few weeks there have been a few areas of my life that have really brought me to a lonely place. I'm not going to be specific, so if you're looking for juicy information, it's not here.

In seeking God's face in these areas, I've come to a few realizations. One is that sometimes, but definitely not all the time, well-meaning people do and say things that hurt. They are just "looking out for me" so they tell me how it really is. I know that I have been that well-meaning person to others plenty of times.

Others choose to "preach." They put their opinions and beliefs out publicly and question why some would choose another path.

Sometimes it feels like judgment. And God has shown me that I, too, judge others. For me, it is mostly kept in my head and I am responsible to God even if those thoughts never exit my mouth.

What I've found lately is that when I don't do what "everyone else" is doing, I get lots of well-meaning comments or outright judgment. What's hard in these recent areas of my life is that I've really sought God in them and feel that He is the One leading me in the direction I'm heading.

My pride wants me to keep everyone happy so that everyone will like me. Well, the truth is not everyone likes me even when I keep them happy. I need to be more concerned with what God thinks of me than what others think of me. And while I seek to do that, I find myself in a lonely place. As I choose His path I find fewer friends who are there for me along the way.

In this moment I feel lonely and discouraged, but I do know that this will pass. There are a few friends I can draw encouragement from as I walk the path God has for me. And of course I can draw on the strength, love, and encouragement of God. I know that as I seek to follow His will that I'm choosing the best thing, no matter how hard or lonely the path is.