4 Weeks Already

Four weeks ago I spent my last night as a mommy in waiting for my long awaited sons. Yes, I had Tristan with me, but there was still an emptiness in my heart that could only be filled once Noah and Samuel were in my arms.

I can't believe it's been four weeks. The first couple of weeks are just a blur in my mind. I'm glad we took pictures and I'm glad I blogged. I spent most of that time terrified. I'm still scared, but I'm not living in fear every moment like I was in the beginning. In some ways it's like they've always been here. In other ways I'm still very much aware of the freedom that I no longer have. It's been said that you forget the pain of the wait once your kids are home. I still remember it. I'm just so busy now that I don't have much time to think about it.

It is amazing to me how resilient these two are. I'm so thankful they have each other. They have grown (physically, too!) by leaps and bounds in this short amount of time. They are beginning to put English words together. They totally understand most of what we say to them in English. Today Noah wanted to stand up and he said, "Stand up." I'm amazed by the ways they are adjusting to our family. I can't imagine what it must have been like to be ripped from everything they knew, but you'd never know it now.

I know that so many of you who read have prayed for us. Thank you. Thank you so much. Your prayers have kept us afloat. God is good and He has given us way more than we could handle in our own strength. We have learned to lean on Him more and ask for help. People have helped us tremendously. Yesterday was the first time I've cooked a real meal since I had the baby. That is amazing. We've had friends come over in the evenings so we can focus on the twins at bedtime. It is humbling to ask for that kind of help. My pride says, "Juli, come on. You can handle this. All kinds of people handle three kids. Why can't you? Just suck it up." And the good news is that I've still asked for help. At my small group on Monday night I broke down and cried and it was a safe place to do that. We are so blessed to be loved and supported like we are.

Chuck is feeling under the weather, so if you could, please say a prayer for his health. He really wants me to have a night off tomorrow (Friday) night. There's a group of friends that get together on Friday nights that I haven't seen in a long time. If he's well enough, I will get to go and see them. I'm really looking forward to it.

Well, it's late, and morning comes quite early for me now. I've been up since 5:30 and it's likely that tomorrow will start early, too, since Tristan fell asleep while eating and I couldn't get him to finish. Thanks for checking in on us.