Thursday, November 29, 2007
Who Did It?
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
Dumbfounded
It is completely unbelievable to me that it is November 26th, 2007 and our boys are still not home. It shocks me and angers me. Never in a million years did I think we'd wait this long for our boys to come home.
Few things in life have been this utterly shocking to me. About the only thing that I can compare it to is how I felt for months after miscarrying. I just could not believe that had happened to me. Sure, I had been through it. I remembered the ultrasound, the doctor's words, the surgery, but how on earth did that happen to me??
Well, that's how I feel about this long wait. Yeah, I've been waiting all this time, but suddenly I'm just completely flabbergasted that this is my reality. Like, how did this sneak up on me? I feel almost like I've been assaulted. It is surreal, yet it is the truth. We will spend another Christmas without them. We missed their birthday. They are two and we have lost those first two years that are so essential when it comes to bonding and attachment. It makes me so mad.
I truly believe that if it weren't for my relationship with God that I would have lost it a long time ago. People tell me all the time how patient I am. Well, it's forced patience. What else can I do besides wait? I try to keep a good attitude because that is what God would have me do in this. But some days just stink.
Yes, I would do this all over again, in case you are wondering. It has been hard, but it has also been filled with joy and excitement. It's been a path of getting to know God more deeply and seeing Him provide for our needs in truly miraculous ways. It's been more good than bad.
But I'm still dumbfounded.
Friday, November 23, 2007
Quiet
This has given me some time alone that I hadn't anticipated on this trip. So far I've done my Bible Study, researched a free airline ticket that Chuck got, looked on Craig's List for a job, and researched going back to college. I'm not too far away from a degree in English and I'm thinking of taking a class in January. I know that it is quite some time before the boys come home (passports are taking 4 months and we aren't even there yet), and I'm tired of wasting time waiting for them to come home.
Forgive me if that sounded wrong. I'll explain. In many ways, our lives (me and Chuck's) have been on hold for two years because of the adoption. Every decision, every purchase, everything is weighed against "when the boys come home." I have been unemployed for nearly a year because I'm staying home with the boys and we knew it would be wise to put some time between my fast paced work and being at home with two toddlers. We knew I needed a chance to slow down. Well, if I slow down much more I won't be moving! The same holds true for finishing my degree. Three semesters have passed and each time I said I didn't want to sign up for a class and then have the boys come home in the middle of it. Well... I'm tired of doing nothing as I wait. I'm a "do stuff" kind of gal.
Now I know some of you who are reading are thinking I'm crazy because Chuck and I have had a whirlwind year as he retired from the Coast Guard, went into ministry, we went to Haiti (Chuck once and me 3 times), we sold and bought a house AND moved; and yes we are 99% unpacked. Those of you who know me well know that I stay pretty busy doing stuff. But, I have goals in life that have been on pause (and will definitely stay on pause in the early years of having kids) because I thought our kids were coming home.
So, I'm researching things and praying that God will lead me in what He will have me do. I hate school, but I want to finish my degree. I would love to make some extra income and potentially buy a minivan with it. God will have to lead me to His plan in all of this. If He wants to keep me on pause, so be it.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
a lil' bit of everything
Secondly, Happy Thanksgiving! We have so very much to be thankful for. In case you're reading this and just not feeling it, I encourage you to think hard about this, especially if you live in the US. I have met some of the poorest people in the world and I have found them to be ever thankful. It's not about what or who you have. If your hope is in Jesus, you have eternity to be thankful for. If your hope is not in Jesus and you want to know more, please email me at ittybitties@msn.com. I'd love to talk to you about that.
It's been a week since I've posted because I've been beyond busy. I'd like to share some highlights from our week, though. On Sunday we had a BBQ for the people who helped get our church campus started. What we thought would be 20-30 people was actually 74 people. It was awesome. We had so much fun. Thank you to all of you who came out on Sunday. We appreciate you and the sacrifices you are making so much. Lives are being changed for eternity because of you. Chuck and I love you all!!
I have to take a moment and just share how thankful I am for our new home. The weeks leading up to our move were torturous because we weren't sure if our old house was ever going to close. I barely remember it, though. We are so happy in our new house that the weeks leading up to it are a dim memory. I've been told it will be this way with the adoption. All the pain of waiting supposedly becomes forgotten. Back to the house. We NEVER EVER could have hosted a shindig such as the one we had Sunday at our old house. Never. Now, don't get me wrong - it was crazy at our house with all those people (nearly half of whom were kids), but it was manageable. We are so thankful for our house. Did I say that already? God has been so amazingly good to us.
Tuesday I got to spend a good part of the day with a great friend. It was so nice to hang out and relax with her. We had plans to organize her apartment, but quickly decided that a relaxing lunch and some light shopping would be a better way to spend the day. It was great and just what I needed. Thank you, Nicole, for being my friend. I love you!
Tabitha is on the mend and was discharged yesterday from the hospital as planned. Please keep her in prayer as her hip continues to heal. Please pray especially for her family and even more specifically for her baby son, Hayden. It's never easy when the mommy is out of commission.
In adoption news: There is none. We now get our pictures mid month and our updates at the end of the month. Pictures are going to be late this month, so I'll post them once we get them. Our update should come on 11/30. Please join us in praying that our update this month is that we are out of 2nd Legalization and that they have our adoption decree. In fact, you can pray that they email us a scanned copy of the adoption decree. After all that happened with miscommunications about where our paperwork was at, it would really build trust if we had a copy of our adoption decree.
I think that's all. I wish you the best this Thanksgiving!
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Surgery Update
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Please Pray for Tabitha
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Christmas Presents
Birthday Cake
On Friday I made a cake for the boys. We decorated it on Saturday and video taped ourselves singing happy birthday to the boys. It was sad of course, but not as bad as I expected. We had a lot of people praying for us and I know that made all the difference. Thank you to all our dear family and friends who prayed for us on Friday.
Friday, November 09, 2007
Two
Two years ago yesterday was the due date of a baby that I miscarried.
Two years ago yesterday we got news that our adoption application was approved and we would be adopting from Haiti.
Two years ago today I prayed very early in the morning and thanked God for getting me through the due date day. It was during that prayer that I realized something. Here is an excerpt from my prayer journal that morning:
What an amazing day yesterday! I had been so afraid of November 8th and I didn't even shed a tear. There was just overflowing joy and excitement about our adoption. Also, I had a thought this morning. I've told You that I expected to be pregnant by November 8th and I realized that our baby is in the womb right now - more than likely! That isn't ironic - that's You. Thank You. So please be with our baby and his or her mom.
Two years ago today our precious sons were born and I was praying for them as they were being born. What a gift that is. They were born at home, and their family wasn't expecting two babies. Two years ago today their birthmom passed away. Two years ago today thier birthfather, in great mourning, began to care for his two sons on his own because he had no family to help him. For a little over two months he took care of them before realizing he couldn't do it on his own.
Two. It's an important number today.
I have two competing emotions today. Happiness and sadness. Happiness because I can look back and so clearly see the hand of God. Happiness because our boys have made it to two years old in a country where a lot of babies don't make it to two. And I have sadness. Sadness that they are spending their birthday in an orphanage. Sadness because they have no idea that it's their birthday or what a birthday is. Sadness because they won't be wearing party hats or blowing out candles. I also have sadness for their birthfather. Today marks two years since he lost his wife. I can't imagine how hard today is for him.
Two. No child should have to spend their 2nd birthday, or any birthday for that matter, in an orphanage.
Two.
Happy Birthday, Noah Elise and Samuel Eli. I'm so sorry we're not together.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Progress
There will be no pictures hanging on the walls tonight unless Chuck does it. He is our interior designer and he's not sure where he wants things.
I'll leave you with a funny story. First of all I need to confess that I've watched Saw 1,2, & 3 all within the last 2 weeks. I'm not into gore and horror, but I was told there are some good twists in these movies and I'm a sucker for a good twist. I'm here to tell you that the twists aren't worth the gore at all. Those movies are awful. Anyway, I'm digressing. I've told you about the Saw movies so you'll understand that I'm a little on edge. I'm not a scardey cat usually, but lately I'm just on edge. Well, we are new to the garage thing. We've never had one before and ours is attached. Yesterday I left the house for about 3 hours and totally forgot to close the garage door. I realized it halfway into my trip out, and I was quite a ways from home by then. More than anything I was afraid someone was going to steal the riding lawnmower in the garage. When I got home and saw that everything was in the garage as it should be, I realized that someone could be waiting in my house with some crazy gadget and a test (you'll need to see a Saw movie to understand that) for me. So, I did the smart thing and entered the house and grabbed the biggest kitchen knife we have and did a thorough check of the house. I felt a little silly after the fact. So, the big lesson learned: Close the garage door!
Monday, November 05, 2007
Still Unpacking...
The boxes are slowly dwindling away. Our room is pretty much unpacked. I just unpacked the linen closet. We need to build a new shelf unit before the office can be completed. There's a lot of miscellaneous stuff that I'm not sure where to put. We are also new to the whole garage thing, so there are many items that will go in there. Right now the garage is a wreck with one narrow path.
Tomorrow night we are having our Gel Group (small group) meet here, so progress is necessary. I'm hoping to even have pictures hanging on the walls by then. We'll see.
My sister keeps begging for pictures. The camera has been located, however I can't take pictures yet. I'm a little too vain to post pictures of my house in this condition on the internet. Soon, Christi, soon.
Oh yeah, one more thing - we have a home phone number again. If you want it, please email me at ittybitties@msn.com. We'd prefer to get more calls on the home phone since we've gone over in cell phone minutes two months in a row.
That's all for now. The boxes are calling.
Friday, November 02, 2007
We Moved!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your prayers!
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Great Adoption News
We have Judgment - yeah! The next step in the process is 2nd Legalization. Please join us in praying that we receive this quickly. Once 2nd Legalization is complete the adoption decree gets drawn up and that is the document that makes the boys legally ours in Haiti (here, too, but they need passports to get here).
YEAH!!