So, Madonna has been in the news lately over her desire to adopt again from Malawi.
I was really sad on Friday when I learned that her adoption was denied. You see, we were matched with our kids and then had to go through the long process of adopting them. I can't imagine how hard it would have been if a judge decided not to grant our adoption. My heart goes out to Madonna.
I was sickened to learn that there are many people applauding the denied adoption. What??
In the news report that I listened to on public radio they suggested that Madonna support this little girl and her community instead. I absolutely hate how we take our Americanized ideas and experience and try to put them to work in other cultures! It just doesn't work. For example, this little girl and her community may become despised for having riches lavished on them while neighboring communities struggle. They may end up in a cycle of relying on others rather than working to meet their own needs. And the list goes on.
A Christian group that I almost aligned myself with last fall suggested that Christians raise money to support this little girl until she reaches adulthood. They were happy that Madonna's adoption was denied. The reason they didn't think the adoption should take place is because this little girl has extended family who should care for her. They suggested raising $160 a year (the average yearly income in Malawi) for this little girl so that she can be cared for by family. What does that say to all the other struggling families??
What bothers me the most about this situation is that there are two groups who seem to be the most happy about this denied adoption - some child advocacy groups and adopting parents.
If child advocacy groups truly care about the well being of MILLIONS of orphans, then why would they work SO HARD to stop an adoption? Why would they suddenly be looking to help this one particular little girl rather than orphans as a whole? Why would they wait to raise their voices until a celebrity tried to adopt?
Adoptive parents are also causing a stir. As an adoptive parent who waited a very, very, very long time for my kids to come home, I feel like I have the right to weigh in on this. If I truly know the heartache of wanting my kids to come home, of going through an adoption, of paying way too much money for paperwork - why would I want someone else's adoption to fail? Why would I point the finger and be angry about a fast-tracked adoption when it is really about what is best for the child? Why would I cheer and feel like justice has been served when another orphan will remain an orphan? It is sick and I'm disgusted by the behavior that I'm seeing.
And on another topic - why on earth was the press so aware of Madonna's court proceedings? I wonder if things would have gone differently if the press didn't cover it so extensively. I sure hope that Madonna appeals the decision. She has every right to do so.
In the Bible, James 1:27 tells us we are to look after orphans. So, I challenge you - especially if you are a Christian and have cheered for Madonna's loss - what are you doing to help orphans?
End of rant.
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6 comments:
I agree - the other major irritant about having conversations with anyone on this topic is that most think they know everything that's gone on and all they know is what's been shown in the media. No one knows the work (home studies, paperwork, physicals, paperwork, psych evals, paperwork, waiting, paperwork, it goes on and on) that goes on behind the scenes of an international adoption, celebrity or otherwise.
Thank you for so clearly stating my thoughts.
Terri
What irritated me about the whole Madonna/Malawi situation was that the laws were overlooked the first time she adopted from there; then they changed their rules to require adoptive parents to live in country TWO years rather than only one. Why should celebrities get preferential treatment?
Jodie,
I am curious as to why we, as loving and caring adoptive parents (who clearly see the need to get these kids home and taken care of/loved) would have any concerns of "preferential treatment." I mean, isn't that kind of selfish and petty? Kind of like, "I had to wait and be miserable...so they should too." If a child is rescued, then let us rejoice in THAT. I would totally understand your concern if the situation was removing a child from a healthy situation or another previously engaged adoption process to accomodate the 'celebrity.' But that is not what happened at all. There was a huge need. Someone was stepping in to meet that need out of genuine love. And then it was pulled apart. I am not commenting one way or another on the laws or formailities of the process. Juli and I clearly went through the same pain together with ours. But why should it matter to US if a child is rescued and loved more quickly than another? What is the motive of our hearts behind that thought process? What is our overall goal or agenda?
I totally agreed with everything you said Juli. I think so many people have overlooked the one thing that should be the most obvious-the child! It was really interesting to hear your point of view since you are an adoptive parent. Kudos to you for speaking your mind!
Love ya,
Amanda
Hey Amanda - are you Amanda from MI?? I hope so, and if so, please email me. I'd love to catch up! julicason@yahoo.com
It is MI Amanda! I have been keeping up with the blogs, and have thought about you guys a lot! I've even shown my mom pics of your boys! I will definitely email you asap!
Amanda
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