Tonight I'm tired, really tired, but in a good way.
Most days by 9 p.m. I'm tired, really tired. It's not always in a bad way, though some days are.
But today was just an all around good day and it has left me good tired. My day was worth the tired I am if that makes any sense.
For my own self I want to document this day because I have the feeling I'm finally turning a corner and I want to remember it.
Chuck has been pushing me for a while to start a mom's group at church. Since I'm a perfectionist, I have procrastinated. Well, finally push came to shove and the group was born this morning. And I have to say that it is an absolute breath of fresh air. 12 moms got together today at a mall food court and began a journey. I'm not sure where we're headed, but we have each other now. I'm very pumped.
We had lunch at the mall, which I like doing. Any meal that I don't have to prepare is a meal I like! :)
Noah and Samuel took a nice long nap and Chuck took care of Tristan while I did some necessary emailing.
When the boys got up we went outside in glorious 72 degree weather. It was awesome. The boys played on their teeter totter, rollercoaster (Mom, they love it!), and with sidewalk chalk. Tristan jumped in the Jumperoo. I weeded a flower bed (which has been on my to do list for-ever), and Chuck skate boarded a little and mostly played with the boys. We had some older neighbor kids come and play and they really played with the twins. It was so neat to watch them take such an interest in knowing Noah and Samuel. The boys wowed them with their "Yo Mamma" response to "What's Up?"
It all just felt right. Like how life is supposed to be. Dare I say I'm finally getting comfortable at this Mom thing?! I don't know but something settled deep within me today. The Gloria Estafan lyrics, "Coming Out of the Dark" keep ringing through my mind (even though I never listen to GE). These last 6 months have been rather dark for me. I have been quite isolated. Some of it necessary, some self inflicted. I have completely doubted my ability as a parent and God's timing in bringing our family together. I have lost my freedom and a very good friendship. It has been a very lonely time. But today I feel like some of that lonliness has been eliminated and that maybe, just maybe things are going to be okay.
As I sort through these things in my mind I'm sure of one thing - tonight I am good tired.