Friday, March 25, 2011

Perception and Grace

Something that's been on my mind for the last few months has been perception. I've realized that what I think about a person, overall, is usually based on very limited knowledge. Of course, there are some people in my life who I know very well and I spend a great deal of time with them, so this doesn't apply to that type of relationship. I'm talking more about acquaintance-type people.

I'll give an example. There's a couple I knew who were going through a really rough time. They had kids and were basically sticking it out for the kids' sake. So, I've perceived this couple in that light because I didn't know anything beyond that. What I've learned is that they have a beautiful marriage today. They are some of the most in-love people I know. But, up until recently I thought they were really rough.

And unfortunately, for me, these types of perceptions sometimes keep me from recognizing who a person truly is today. I don't give them a chance, in my head, to do or be something different. I sometimes base what I know about a person off of knowledge from years past or a single event. How can I know who they are today?

So, that very sick person who hurt me 5 years ago... can I judge them? Do I really know who they are anymore? Should I warn others to keep their distance?

Something beautiful about life is that there's opportunity for healing. The healing I've experienced in my own life through the work of Jesus is a-ma-zing. Don't get me wrong... I still mess up and I still hurt people and I certainly don't have it all together. But... who I was 12+ years ago is not who I am today. And I'm sure there are people out there who knew me back then and have no idea who I am today and judge me based on what they know. That used to haunt me. It used to really matter that there might be people who think that's still who I am. And thankfully, God has removed that concern from my heart.

So, what God's been showing me is that there are people in my life who I have opinions about based on old information. I have no idea who they are today or what they are doing. So, I need to let go of that old hurt and be optimistic about who God is helping them become. How liberating is that? I've been HURT, if you know what I mean. But to embrace this new idea lends forgiveness that I've never been able to feel (I've decided to forgive in the past, but haven't felt it).

The coolest thing about God is His amazing grace. It is unfathomable. And because God has shown me this new light in which to view people, I'm able to extend grace to people and situations that have been humanely impossible for me in the past.

This goes the other way, too. You see, people disappoint. Just recently, someone I held in high regard showed themself to be selfish and self centered (just like me!). And at first I was really shocked. But now that I've had some time for the feelings to settle, I realize that this person is just being a human. And today I choose not to view this person by just the most recent information I've gained. I will allow this person to be one of God's kids, on a journey toward healing and becoming more like Him.

I truly feel like a weight has been lifted from my heart. Like I'm able to love better because of it. I am once again humbled by who God is and how He works in my life.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

beautiful Juli ~ i think everyone feels like this and what great wisdom in this post .... most people ARE a mess. Because we are human...

Rose Anne said...

Juli,
All I can say is Amen!
God Bless,
Rose Anne

monica said...

Awesome post Juli...thanks for the wise words.

Anonymous said...

Great post; I must read and re-read this regularly. Thank you!!!

Nancy