How We Came to Adopt - Super Long

I realized recently that some of you reading this may not know how Chuck and I ended up on the path of adoption. It's a long, winding story, so I apologize in advance for a long post!

In March 2004 Chuck and I learned that we would be stationed again in the Hampton Roads area. We were really expecting to go to California, but we were happy to be able to stay in the area that we lived in. Our lease wasn't up on our apartment until June, so we planned to take our time looking for a home to buy. That all changed because a country in the Caribbean was having a civil war. Chuck is in the Coast Guard, and his patrol boat was chosen to go to Haiti to repatriotize Haitians trying to leave thier country by water. As you can imagine, it's a terrible job. We had just a few weeks to get a contract on a home before Chuck left for 6 weeks. Quite honestly, Haiti was a bad word in our house.

We got a contract on our home in 6 days, and then the Coast Guard decided to send a patrol boat from Florida instead of the one my husband was stationed on in VA. We were so grateful that he wouldn't have to go to Haiti in the middle of our move. When the missions pastor at our church learned that we were staying in the area, he approached us about going on a mission trip. He gave us options of New York City, Costa Rica, and Haiti. Chuck said absolutely no to Haiti and NYC (he had been there and disliked it). However, when we looked at the dates of the trips and when Chuck had vacation time already scheduled, we learned that Haiti was our only option. I can remember when I asked my boss (who is also our Pastor) if I could go. I said something like, "It's totally okay with me if you don't think I should go. I'm not excited to go to Haiti." Well, he let me go and in July Chuck and I spent a week in Haiti and fell in love with the country and it's people. I had never seen such poverty before. There are areas in Haiti that look like an earthquake has struck. There are images that I will never get out of my mind, but I loved it all.

We both decided we would go back the following year. Well, the next year came and Chuck was asked to lead the Costa Rica trip and I got pregnant in March. We were thrilled to be expecting our first child, and we knew that a trip to Haiti wasn't wise for me while pregnant. In April we experienced the devastation of a miscarriage. It rocked us. You see, in my life I put up protection mechanisms so that I don't get hurt (yes, I know this is unhealthy). But I didn't have one in place for the miscarriage. I took it hard and for about a week I was so mad at God. I wouldn't pray or read my Bible. A week after the miscarriage we went to MI to visit my family. A family situation came up and I figured I should pray. When I opened my Bible, I didn't even know where to turn and suddenly I heard the voice of a radio dj from the night before that said, "Galatians 6:9." The night before my sister and I had been driving along listening to a Christian radio station. An ad came on with the daily verse and the dj only said, "Galatians 6:9," which I thought was weird because they usually read the verse.

So I looked up Galatians 6:9 and here's what it says: "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." That, to me on that day, meant "Don't give up on God, Juli! He's got a plan for you but you can't give up."

The following month I spent a day with God at the park at the end of my street. I still had so much heartache over the miscarriage. I talked to God for a long time that morning. Finally I got quiet before Him. When I did my mind went back to a time when I was driving through the Dismal Swamp area listening to a tape that a friend had given me from Focus on the Family. It was the story of Ann Kiemel Anderson. On the tape she spoke of her stuggles with (I think) miscarriage (or trying to get pregnant). She also spoke of her journey of adoption. I knew that God was speaking to me about adoption and I told Him I was willing to do that. The next day I went to work and I told my boss, "I think God wants us to adopt."

About a week later I shared this with my husband and I even read some stuff out of my journal to him (which I never do). He told me that God had been speaking to him about adoption, too. And, along with that, we were surrounded by people adopting. Our friends Pete and Debbie were in the process of adopting from China. Our friends Steve and Kelly were adopting from Guatemala. Our friends Rob and Romy were adopting from Ukraine for the 3rd time. You see, adoption seemed so big and scary to me, and God surrounded us with ordinary people who were adopting. I can remember talking to Pete and Debbie in the parking lot long after church was over on many Sundays. When I told Debbie that Chuck and I would probably adopt one day, Debbie immediately asked, "Why not now?" She had great reasons for us to adopt before biological children. We'd have more income per family member(most countries have income requirements per family member) than when we would if we waited until we had biological children. She also shared why she and Pete are so passionate about international adoption, and I agree with them. To be an orphan is terrible. No one should have to be an orphan. To be an orphan in the US is terrible, however there are a lot of resources available to US orphans. To be an orphan in a developping country is another story. So many countries have street children. They live on the streets. They have no home, no food, no love. I'm not saying that I don't support domestic adoptions - I do. I just know that the burden God has put on my heart is for international adoption.

20 days before the trip to Haiti (the one I couldn't go on because I was pregnant) was scheduled to leave, God told me to go. I had decided after miscarrying that I wasn't going to go to Haiti because it would be too bittersweet. In fact, I'd get really angry when people would ask me after the miscarriage if I was going to go to Haiti. Satan really had me tied in his web. But 20 days before the trip I heard God speak to me and I obeyed. In July 2005 I was on another plane to Haiti, with still fresh wounds from the miscarriage.

While there I got to care for an orphan named Jabez. He was the first baby I'd held since the miscarriage. He was 10 weeks old and had been born at the mission I was serving at. His birthmom passed away and his birthdad never came back for him. God used that tiny baby to heal my heart while I was there.

When I returned from Haiti, Chuck and I knew that God was calling us to adopt NOW. I researched orphanages and adoption agencies and we waited to see what would happen with Jabez. We later learned that he was placed in an orphanage that wouldn't be adopting children out, instead thier vision is to raise up Christian leaders and impact Haiti.

In October, we decided to move forward in the adoption process, although we hadn't given up on Jabez. I looked at many websites and was drawn back to one. I went back to my July research and found an email from a woman with glowing comments about For His Glory Adoption Outreach, the same website I was drawn to. I emailed her to see if she still recommended them. She did, so Chuck and I prayed another week and sent in our application.

We learned we were accepted on November 7th, just one day before our baby's due date. I spent November 8th with God at home. On the morning of November 9th I thanked God for getting me through the day before - in fact I hadn't even cried. Then I realized (and this is recorded in my prayer journal) that our baby was probably in the womb and so I prayed for our child (we were only going to adopt one!) and it's birthmom. I have to jump forward in our story for a moment. Our boys were born on November 9th - the very day I prayed for our child and it's birthmom. After meeting their birth father, it sounds like they were born at about 8 a.m. I was praying sometime between 6 and 7 a.m., probably when their birth mother needed prayers most. She passed away 4 hours after delivering them. How awesome is our God that He would prompt me to pray for my sons and their birth mother as they were being born. Isn't God so good?!

For the next 2 months Chuck and I prayed and waited on God to reveal our child to us. There were many pictures of waiting kids on the website, but none of them were ours. In December I joined a Yahoo Group for parents adopting through FHG. I've met so many wonderful people in that group. I quickly learned that many families adopt multiple children. There were families adopting 2, 3, and even 4 children!! I can remember telling my friend Jen, "Not me, I'm adopting one baby!" God had other plans.

By late December, Chuck and I were praying about asking the Orphanage Director, Linda, if God was talking to her about a child for us (since He didn't seem to be telling us anything). You see, Linda is such an incredible woman of faith. It doesn't take long after talking to her to realize that she walks so very closely with God.

The second week of January I emailed the missionaries taking care of Jabez. He was no longer at the orphanage - he was back in their care. I emailed them and asked them about Jabez's future. Jabez is expected to be a special needs baby due to the circumstances of his birth. I just couldn't understand why the orphanage that they placed him in would keep them when their goal is to raise up Christian leaders. Jabez would be a burden financially and timewise with medical needs. I just couldn't understand why they wouldn't adopt him out to a family in the US that was fully aware of his needs. The only thing I could figure out was that maybe the missionaries wanted to adopt him - after all they had been taking care of him most of his little life. So, I emailed and asked them if it was their plan to adopt him. It took a week to get their response. Yes, they planned to adopt him. Door closed. I was happy and sad all at once. Jabez would be adopted and it was people who had spent most of his life with him. That made me happy for him. Yet, I was sad because he wasn't going to be our son.

Each time my husband prayed about Jabez while we waited for the response from the missionaries, he sensed God was saying, "I have so much more for you." On January 15th the door was closed to baby Jabez. On January 16th we got an email from Linda at FHG. Here's what it said:

Hi Juli,

We just got a set of two month old twin boys. I thought of you when they came in. Is this something you would be interested in?

Linda

I screamed when I read it and Chuck came running because he thought something was wrong. We both knew that these were our boys, but we were also shocked. All along we thought we would adopt one child. I emailed Linda back and told her we'd like to learn more and pray about it. We asked God to confirm to us that He wanted us to adopt these boys. And He did over and over, and still continues to. On Thursday, January 19th we accepted the referral and committed to adopt our boys.

I remember my friend Leann telling my that maybe Jabez wasn't supposed to be our baby - that maybe God was using him to lead us to our child. She teared up as she told me that because she really sensed that was the case. Well, God definitely used little Jabez in our lives. He will always be special to us. If it hadn't been for him, who knows if we would have found our sons.

So, that's the story. We've been in the process of adopting since November 2005. We committed to adopt our sons in January. Our home study was completed in February. We sent our paperwork to Haiti in May - it arrived May 15th, the day after President Preval was installed. It has been waiting in IBESR (Haitian Social Services) since July 14th. Once it is released from that step, we have at least 3 more months until the boys come home. The post IBESR process seems to be slowing down - another test of our patience! But we are trusting that God's hand is in all of this and that our boys will come home in His perfect timing.

In July we went and met our sons for the first time. In November I went back on a mission trip and had the honor of being there with them on their first birthday. They are big, healthy boys. They are totally on the charts in height and weight. They are both crawling (fast!) and will most likely be walking before they come home.

So, that's our story. Thanks for taking the time to read it!

Home From Haiti

Look at those smiles! Noah is on the left and Samuel is on the right, and my how they have grown! I apologize for not posting sooner, but I came home from Haiti sick this time. I just haven't had the energy to sit down and write this post until now.

I arrived in Haiti last Wednesday. The hotel had overbooked itself, so the first night we didn't bring children back to the hotel because we were all doubled up in rooms. From a sleep perspective, this was a good thing. I got plenty of rest the night before traveling to Haiti and then even more the first night there. Back in July Chuck and I could barely sleep the night before getting to Haiti, and so we went into the trip sleep deprived. This time around was so much better in that respect.

It turns out that it wasn't RSV going around the nursery. There were a total of 8 sick babies that had to be hospitalized, but praise God it wasn't RSV. By the time I left Haiti on Sunday, all but 2 of the babies had been released from the hospital. Noah was sick with a cold and fever while I was there, but he was checked daily by the doctor. We kept him on Tylenol and watched him. His fever was gone by the time I left, but he was still suffering with cold symptoms. He was not himself - he slept a lot and was grumpy much of the time, poor guy.

On Thursday I kept both boys overnight since it was their birthday. We didn't get to the cakes until late, and the boys were tired. Noah kept laying down, but I did manage to give them birthday presents and their cakes. Noah wanted nothing to do with the cake and barely touched it. Samuel played in his a little bit, but didn't get too messy before we called it quits. Unfortunately I don't have any pictures to post because I shot video instead. Maybe Chuck can pull some still shots from the video. If so, I'll post some.

On Friday I kept Noah overnight so that I could give him some individualized attention. He slept most of the time, but was awake for dinnertime with our group. He slept until 5 a.m., which was better than when I had both boys - Samuel woke up at 4 a.m. for the day when I had them both.

Saturday night I kept Samuel and we had fun. He did not sleep a bunch, so we played. He seemed to enjoy toys so much more than Noah did, but again, I think I didn't get a true perspective of Noah on this trip.

Sunday morning I spent time with both boys at the orphanage before flying home. Noah was really clingy and would cry if I put him down. Samuel had a good time playing and crawling around.

We has a total of 3 doctors from the US with us, one of which is a Haitian-American. They did assessments on all the kids while we were there. One of the doctors, Cathy, was very impressed with the boys' size. They are both right around 20 lbs, and in the 5oth percentile for weight. Samuel is slightly heavier. He is also longer. He is in the 95th percentile for height and Noah is in the 75th. Back in July Samuel was noticibly smaller that Noah, and now he is bigger! They are doing really well. The doctor was most impressed by their size because twins are expected to be smaller and they aren't. They are good eaters!

Each day on this trip we worked toward moving to a new building. All of the donations from the July donation drive were opened and sorted. We worked on sorting on Thursday and then some of us went to the new building to beging prepping for painting. The new building is beautiful (sorry - no pictures, only video). It is big and spacious with lots of natural light. We dusted walls and began painting on Thursday. On Friday I stayed behind at the old orphanage and worked on sorting clothing. On Saturday I spent most of the day at the new building. We put all the donated toiletries away in cabinets in the kitchen. It is just amazing how generous people were with their donations. A lot of other items were moved in that day, and a lot of things were put away. Their was a muralist with us on the trip, and he and his team worked on painting.

Remember the cribs from an earlier post? Well, they arrived in Haiti while we were there, which is a total God thing. They weren't expected to arrive until well after we were all back in the states. The last I heard they were waiting to get the cribs cleared through customs. It sounds like they are planning a trip for either the week before Christmas or the first week in January for a team of guys to go down and put together the cribs, lay tile, and do other construction work. If you're reading this and would like to go, please contact me and I'll put you in touch with our Director.

Okay, that's all I can think of for now.

Happy Birthday Noah & Samuel

Well, yesterday was the boys' birthday! We had cake and gifts last night in our hotel room. It was fun, but the boys were very tired and didn't want much to do with their cakes. Both of them stayed in the orphanage my first night here because the hotel didn't have enough rooms for all of us and we had to double up. I kept both of them for their birthday and tonight I have Noah then tomorrow I'll have Samuel. Typing with one hand and a squirmy baby is tough, so that's all for now. Just a warning...I haven't taken many pictures, but tons of video. I'll post lots when I'm home.

Haiti on Wednesday!

Well, it's Monday night and I'm in the last stages of packing! I'm so very excited! Today was a rough day. I didn't sleep nearly enough last night (up late packing) and I woke up with a terrible headache that stayed with me until 7 p.m. Thank God and Alka Seltzer - it's gone. I took Motrin 3 times today trying to get rid of that headache and Alks Seltzer did the trick. A great big thank you to Leann for telling me about it!

God keeps sending formula my way. I'm taking a ton of formula with me to Haiti. So many generous people have made donations. Thank you to all of you! Please pray that my suitcases stay within 20 lbs over the weight limit. It gets expensive after that.

Tomorrow morning I'll arrive in Miami and stay the night. The flight to Haiti is at 10 a.m. on Wednesday. I'll be back late on Sunday night. If you'd like to pray, please pray specifically for:

• All the babies that are sick to get well, and that all the healthy babies stay well.
• For safety. Kidnappings are a reality in Haiti. We will be well protected by armed security everywhere we go.
• For God's plan for this trip to happen and bring Him glory. May we accomplish much in the short time we have there.
• For me to rely on God and not myself in taking care of the boys.

On Thursday I will have a small birthday celebration in our hotel room for the boys. I can't wait to see them covered in chocolate frosting. I learned something new tonight in the kitchen. Angel food cake expands when cooking. How do I know, you ask? Well, I decided to make the boys cakes out of angel food cake mix. I've never made it before, but I figured it might keep better than regular cake for a few days of travel. Well, I filled a small cake pan and put it in the oven. Within 5 minutes it was pouring out of the cake pan and all over the oven. Too funny! I really did read the directions and they said nothing about how far to fill the pans. Oh well, it was fun and Chuck cleaned it up!

Well, that's all for now. I will really try to post here while I'm in Haiti, but I must warn you that when Chuck and I were in Haiti in July with the boys we never made it to the computers in the hotel. We were just too busy caring for the boys. So I apologize in advance if I don't post.

Prayers Needed at Orphanage

Hi there! I would like to ask you all to pray for all the children at the orphanage, especially the babies. There is some kind of respiratory bug going around and there are 6 babies in the hospital right now. This is very serious. Please pray that those babies will get well quickly and that no other babies or children get sick.

If our boys get sick before I arrive, I will not be able to spend time with them. More than anything I want to spend time with Noah and Samuel, so please pray that they don't get sick. If they don't get sick, I will have them with me the WHOLE time I'm there. What a blessing that will be! It will also be hard. I'll be outnumbered. Chuck and I stayed VERY busy while we were in Haiti in July caring for both of them. I know God will provide for all our needs, but I do ask that you pray for my sanity. Somehow I'm going to try to do mission work and be a single mommy to twins. Only God can make that work out! :)

I will be in Haiti in just 5 days! I'm down to one hand in counting down the days. I'll be very busy the next few days as I finish packing. Since I'll have the boys the whole time there are a lot of extra items I need to pack. Please pray that my luggage stays within the weight limits!

That's all for now.