A Good Place

A number of times today I've been close to tears as I reflect on my sweet family. I tend to be a detail girl, so it's very hard for me to step back and see the bigger picture. Today as I stood washing dishes I was able to take a step back for a moment and realize just how blessed I am.

The truth is that most days I stay stuck in the details... the in-my-face details of daily living. It is not easy having three kids as young as we do, but I'm finding myself more and more comfortable as a mom. I have blogged about it before, but I spent the better part of a year terrified. Last year was just a really hard year on so many levels. Multiplying our family so quickly was not easy on me. In addition to that I had friends walk away, hard familiy situations, Chuck had minor surgery that required a long recovery, and the closing of the campus of our church that we helped start. I did not walk through all of that with amazing grace, but I did manage to get through it.

And now that I'm on the other side of that year, I realize that we were not in a good place for a while there. It took more time than I'd have thought to adjust to more than doubling our family. On top of that, the twins were terrified of everything. There were so many things that we couldn't do that other families were doing simply because our kids couldn't handle it. We had to stay cocooned for a while and that was hard. Some people understood that and some did not. I got tired of trying to explain it, so I stopped. My focus needs to be on my family, not on what other people think about our family. I've had a number of conversations that have helped me understand that not many people understood just how rough our adjustment was. Maybe I didn't realize how rough it was as I was going through it, but looking back - man, it was rough!

Today I realized that we are in a really good place. And that's kind of funny because we are in a time of dramatic change as we plan to pack up this party and relocate. Chuck and I are more comfortable as parents. Somedays we even know what we are doing :) Noah and Samuel are just blossoming more and more. They are speaking English fluently so communication is there. We know their triggers. We know when they are tired. Or hungry. Or thirsty. Or struggling with attachment. We just know them now and that makes such an impact. Freakouts are rare now. We can leave them with a babysitter! Tristan is at a hard age since he's into everything (and he's so dang tall that he can reach more and more things!), but I find this age easier than the newborn days because he was such a needy baby. Tristan continues to be a super snuggler. He melts my heart all the time. On the other hand, he is SUCH a stinker. He is definitely strong willed and we are encountering all kinds of fun (that's sarcastic) behaviors.

When Chuck has to leave early in the morning, I'm no longer afraid of getting through breakfast on my own. Getting out the door to go somewhere is no longer an ORDEAL. I can manage all three kids on my own out in public (but I still won't take them grocery shopping!). Meals are OK, even if it's just me and the boys. I just have a lot more confidence than I once did. And I'm caring less and less of what others think... something I have always struggled with and there is so much freedom and grace for myself in that. I'm learning to ask for help... what a gift! I've learned that no, I can't do it all. Even if I try to be supermom I still can't do it all. And today I'm okay with that. I have dealt with some HARD things and I'm okay. And I can't type another sentence without point to God and thanking Him for getting me to this place. Being in a good place is because I'm spiritually in a good place. And for me, that simply means I recognize my daily need for God's help.

So yeah, the Cason's are in a good place. This too shall pass, but I'm going to enjoy it while it's happening!

**And in case you are wondering, yes there are Halloween pictures. They will be posted soon.**

First Words

So, Tristan has been saying Mama and Dada for a while now. He's 14 months old today and I realize some babies say a lot of words by this age and some don't. We have one that doesn't and we are not at all concerned. In addition to calling us by name, he also barks like a dog and teases us mercilessly. We are not concerned about this (or any, really) area of development.

Yesterday Tristan mimicked a word for the first time ever. If you don't really know Chuck, this won't mean as much to you. But for those of you who do know him, you'll probably laugh out loud. Tristan's first word (besides the obligatory Mama and Dada) is dude. Yes, DUDE. Dude happens to be one of Chuck's most-used words.

For the record, Tristan repeated it while playing with his brothers. He has a stuffed turtle that he loves. If you've seen Finding Nemo, you'll remember the turtle named Crush and how he and his son have a routine of knocking heads and saying, "Dude." When the boys brought Tristan his turtle they said, "Dude." And Tristan repeated it. I will admit, it sounded like, "boob." But I knew what he was saying.

So there you have it. Chuck's son's first real word is Dude. Lovely.

So much to say...

... but the words aren't there yet.


I am still alive.

I realize it's been a while since I've posted.

It will be a while longer.

Happy Birthday, Noah and Samuel??

Noah and Samuel on their third birthday.

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Yesterday was an eventful day. We had two birthday parties to attend, one in the morning and one in the late afternoon. The boys have become very interested in birthdays over the last few months and after watching Tristan celebrate his 1st birthday, they really want it to be their birthday, too.

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Last year when they turned three they had only been home for nine weeks and didn't understand what was going on on their birthday. We chose not to have a party because it would have been way to overwhelming for them. We had a quiet celebration at home, instead.

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In addition to the normal birthday excitement, Grandma has promised the boys bikes for their birthdays... but there is a condition. They need to put ALL their peepee and poopoo in the toilet. They are at about 98% with that. I'm certain they will get the bikes!

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Lately, out of the blue, the boys will say any of the following: "I need cake." Cake to them means birthday. Noah especially says this and he says it totally out of the blue. Whenever they see a lit candle at someone's house (I don't burn candles at home... way too scared one of the boys will get burned...) they begin to sing "Happy Birthday." They equate any type of lit candle with birthdays. I think that is hilarious! "Happy Birthday, Noah and Samuel??" They ask this question a lot. They are checking in to see if it is their turn yet. Somedays they just wake up thinking about their birthday. And they ask about it at bedtime, too. It didn't help that the other day Sesame Street had a birthday themed show!

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I find it all very endearing. Yes, they want cake and presents and to be the center of attention... but they spent their first two birthdays in an orphanage (I did get to be with them on their first birthday, though) and came home with no comprehension of what a birthday was. Last year was just sad because they were so uninterested in the cake, balloons, etc. This year they are WAY excited and that makes me happy. They are being "regular little boys," and that does this mommy's heart well.

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Yesterday at the a.m. birthday, their friend Brodie turned three. Most of his gifts were "Cars" related. The boys LOVE Cars. Samuel played while Brodie was opening presents, but Noah sat with me for a good portion of it and watched. And every few minutes he would turn to me and say, "I want Noah and Samuel birthday, too!" He wasn't bratty or whiny... just really wanting it to be his turn. We talked about how it was Brodie's turn and how one day soon it would be Noah and Samuel's turn.

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The late afternoon birthday was for their friend down the street, Jaime. He also turned three. His party theme was Spiderman (who the boys love and called Ty-man when they first came home), but many of his gifts were Cars related. After he opened presents he invited all his friends to play with his new toys and Noah and Samuel were way excited to do that. Again, both boys expressed their desire for it to be "Noah and Samuel's birthday, too."

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Tonight Chuck and I talked about what we will do for their birthday. We are going to be in MI toward the end of October, which is not too far from their birthday (11/09). We will probably do some kind of celebration with our family there. We were thinking of not doing a party here, but after watching them really enjoy being at other birthday parties, I want to give them the opportunity to be celebrated among their peers. So, now the big thought in my mind is what to do for their birthday. I'm totally hoping that our house is sold before their birthday, but then I also would love to have one last party here. Ah, what to do, what to do?? That's what I'll be thinking about for the next few days.

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And I'm sure I won't forget to think about it since I'm sure they will be asking about their birthday! :)

Gotcha Day Pictures

The boys had fun using chopsticks.

After seeing fire, for the rest of the

night Noah wanted to make the fire happen.

Amazingly, they loved the soup.

Samuel figured it out after we told him to drink it.

Samuel got a turtle visor and Noah got a fish visor.
Of course they were Crush and Nemo from Finding Nemo.


The boys were afraid at first, but LOVED the fountains.

Noah loved putting his head in the water.

Noah on the train.

Samuel was SO excited to be on the train.

Chillin' in the van.

For Gotcha Day, we took just Noah and Samuel out. Wow, two kids are easier than one! Tristan spent the day with some great friends and we are so thankful for their help.

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We started our day at the zoo. We ate lunch there and then wandered around. The boys were interested in the animals, but were crazy excited about the train and water fountains.

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After the zoo, we needed to burn some time before heading to dinner, so we went to the mall play area. Chuck and I enjoyed some Starbucks while the boys burned some energy.

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For dinner, we took the boys to a Japanese steakhouse. We thought they would enjoy it and we were right. They were in awe and loved the food. They especially loved when food was tossed at them to catch in their mouths (and by the way, I was the only one at our table who succeeded in catching it!). And unfortunately, Chuck now tosses their vitamins like that. Such boys. All of them!

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I can't believe Noah and Samuel have been home for over a year now. I have a lot of thoughts to share about Gotcha Day, but that will be another day.

A Prayer

As we prepare to move to MI, and with how not well things are going with that, I often wonder if we are on the right path. Did we hear God correctly? Are we doing the right thing? If so, why hasn't our house sold? Why hasn't funding for the church plant been solidified? Why has our biggest supporter so far backed out? Why, why, why?

But really, it's not my place to ask why. In fact, when I tell my kids to do something and they ask, "Why" I am disturbed that they didn't just obey. I wonder if that's how God is feeling with me right now.

So, we continue to move forward, doing what we can, to start the church in Michigan.

And God seems to know exactly when I'm in need of encouragement. Tonight I ran across this prayer that I wrote on October 30th of last year:

Chuck keeps talking about starting a church in MI. Actually, he keeps talking about how broken his heart is for Southeast MI and last night he talked about planting a church there. So, right now I submit this to You, Lord. I really DO NOT want to go back to MI, but if that's Your plan I submit to it and ask You to make it very clear. Amen.

Tonight as I read that prayer and thought about whether God has made it clear, I could honestly say that He has. It hasn't been happy-clear. If I was making it clear I'd make it all happy and exciting type clarity. That's not what our clarity has looked like. For us, making it clear means that we have had many painful experiences over the last year that tell us our time here is coming to a close. We've experienced some hard stuff, but God has been faithful in my request to make it clear and for that I am grateful. And I'm so grateful that I wrote that prayer down because it encouraged me today.

Gotcha Day

Well, the boys are in bed now and I'm wore out, but we had a magnificent first Gotcha Day!

Tristan spent the day with friends and we took the boys to the Zoo and to a Japanese steakhouse for dinner. We had a great time and took a bunch of pictures... but I'm way too tired tonight to download and post them. Sorry! I will definitely blog some thoughts and pictures sometime soon. In the meantime, just know that we had a great day, continue to be amazed by these two crazy little guys, and look forward to celebrating many more Gotcha Days!

Speaking of Terri...

I've mentioned Terri in the last few posts and I've forgotten to mention something very important about her.

Her and her husband, Mike are in Ethiopia PICKING UP THEIR DAUGHTERS!!

Please say a prayer for them. They have their daughters and are just waiting to complete their Embassy Appointment before returning home this weekend.

We couldn't be more happy for this wonderful family. And we can't wait to meet the girls!

They will return home this Sunday, 9/6. That is exactly one year since we arrived home in Virginia with Noah and Samuel. I think that is neat!

And on this day last year...

... we woke up very early to learn that our flight into Haiti was cancelled due to weather.

I tend to be pessimistic, but that morning when I saw the cancelled flight information on our hotel room TV, I really had hope that perhaps the status would change. We were watching the weather channel and the hurricane seemed to be north of Haiti. Of course, things didn't change and that hurricane did a loopty-loo right above Haiti. It was unbelievable to watch what happened with that storm on the very day we were to go pick up our boys.

My post from 9/2 last year can be read here.

On top of the cancelled flight, we had to deal with waiting three more days to depart. Terri was with us, and she had lots of work back home calling her name. She decided to fly back that night as planned and then fly back to Miami Thursday night so she could stay with Tristan on Friday. We are forever grateful to her! That morning she booked a rental car for us so we could travel to central Florida to stay with my Dad for a few days. She just, in general, took care of us and was a great source of encouragement during a really rough time.

By lunchtime we were on the road. We made a stop to visit the Rockstar's and then continued on to my Dad's house. We got there very late that night and introduced him to Tristan. While it was not our plan, it was so wonderful for Tristan to meet his Grandpa so early on. He was only 18 days old.

On this day one year ago...

... me, Chuck, Tristan and Terri were on our way to Miami.

The plan was to fly to Miami on the 1st, stay the night, and then very early on 9/2 Chuck and I were to fly into Haiti to pick up the boys and return on the next flight while Terri stayed with Tristan in Miami.

If you've been reading for the last year, you know our plan didn't go well thanks to Hurricane Hanna, the only hurricane I've ever seen heading west actually turn and head east... while it was right on top of Haiti.

A lot has changed since this day last year! Our September 1, 2008 post can be read here.

Update on the Move to Michigan

It's been a while since I've wrote an update on our move to Michigan.

In three months time we went to Michigan 3 times. That is a lot of travel, especially with little people. The trips are especially taxing on us because we travel at night. Chuck usually drives all night and I'm getting better at sleeping in the van. The kids are pretty good about sleeping in the van, though they take nice long naps the next day. If Chuck needs to be in MI in the next 6-7 weeks, he will go by himself so that our kiddos can get back into a routine for a decent period of time.

Chuck has met with various people during our trips to MI to talk about and gather support for the church we will start. So far there are a lot of people excited about what we are doing, so that is encouraging.

What is not encouraging is financial support. Times are tough right now. A few years ago it would have been no problem to get financial backing from a few church planting organizations to get this church started. That's all changed now.

The model that we thought we would follow in starting this church is to raise financial support, move to the area, and then Chuck would draw a salary as he gets the church started (we need at least 6 months on the ground in MI before starting the church). Since financial support is not what we hoped it would be, we may have to do things differently. And that's okay if that's what God wants us to do.

So, Chuck has applied for a handful of government jobs in MI. As a disabled veteran, he does get some preference, so that's cool. Chuck has also applied for a few government positions in this area since we haven't sold our house yet. If Chuck gets a position in MI, he will work in that postition and work on getting the church started. He will be very busy, that's for sure. Starting a church is no small undertaking and I dread the idea of him doing that AND working a full time job. If Chuck gets a position here, we will wait on the sale of our home and then he will hopefully either have financial support for the church lined up or a job in MI lined up.

Our house. Well, it's been for sale for 4 weeks now. We have only had two people look at it in that time. Today I hosted an open house and only one person came. And that person was a neighbor. To say I'm discouraged would be an understatement. I am not generally a patient person. When God confirmed in my heart that we are to move to MI, I was ready to go then. I don't do limbo well. While I totally dread packing up and leaving all our friends behind, I just want to get it over with. Since we don't have financial support set up in MI and Chuck hasn't secured a job, I guess it shouldn't surprise me that our house hasn't sold yet. Waiting for God's perfect timing in all these details is not easy for me.

One of the tough things about selling our house is that we need to sell it For Sale By Owner. We moved into this house in November 2007, so we haven't been here 2 years yet. And we are in a bad market. Our hope is that we break even on selling this house. We talked to one of the top realtors in this area and she doesn't think we can sell it with an agent and break even. BUMMER. A lot of people are doing a "short sale," which basically means you ask the lender to take slightly less than what you owe on the house. A lot of people are currently doing this in this market in order to avoid foreclosure. When we spoke with the realtor, this idea was presented. A short sale does impact your credit, but it is not hard to overcome. For us, this is just not an option. As I mentioned earlier, Chuck is a disabled veteran. Our home was purchased with the VA (veteran's affairs) Loan, and because Chuck is a disabled veteran, we don't pay their funding fee, which is a lot like an origination fee. So basically, the VA Loan means very minimal closing costs on a mortgage for us. And we get to use that each time we buy a home (as long as we sell the last one). If we short sell this house, we completely lose the VA benefit. Forever. Aside from selling this house, our only other option is to rent it. Between renting it for slightly less than our mortgage payment and paying a property manager, we would be renting out our house at a $150-$200 loss monthly. Not cool. We need to sell it!

I recently had the opportunity to speak with someone who has family moving away to help start a church. While she was kind about it all, I could tell that her family didn't have her full support in their move. And that made me realize just how important that support is. As we prepare to relocate to do what God has called us to do, it is so comforting to know that we have people supporting us. And I don't mean financially. What I'm talking about is just having people who believe in us... even when we don't really believe in ourselves. Church planting is not easy stuff. I'm thankful for the many people who stand beside us as we get ready to do this.

Something that has been really hard with announcing that we are moving sometime soon is that some people treat us like we are already gone. I don't think they mean us any harm. We've had a number of situations where people make comments about us leaving so why include us, etc. We have a few friends who haven't pushed us away and that's been great. Having friends we can turn to during this crazy time is comforting.

A popular, yet untrue belief about following God is that "if it's from God, it will be easy." That is not my experience at all I don't believe that's true for one second. Adopting Noah and Samuel was God's plan for our family, yet it was incredibly hard. Some of the best thing's God asks us to do are HARD.

Walking!

Tristan has been working on walking for well over a month now. He's been taking 2 or 3 steps and falling for a while now.

Lately he's been taking more steps together. He will take like 6 or 7 steps, but they are so tiny that he doesn't make it very far. But he is walking! Sometimes he looks drunk and sometimes he looks really stiff. And he's so proud of himself when he does it. As soon as we clap for him or call him to us, he plops down and fast crawls over. I guess he's still more comfortable with crawling.

I've been told my life will never be the same once this little guy is walking. Is it possible that I will be more tired than I already am??!!

While writing this post Tristan walked about 15 steps (he took a standing still break midway)! I think he is getting even closer to the real-deal walking!

I'm Calling It!

I might regret this tomorrow, but...

I do believe...

Noah and Samuel are potty trained!!!!!

They wore underwear all day today with no accidents. That would include a 2+ hour nap. I woke them up and had them both go to the bathroom because I was too afraid to let them sleep any longer for fear of wet beds.

We are SO proud of them!!

And it only took until they were 3 years, 9 months, and 15 days. But whose counting, right??!! (And for the record we are totally fine with it taking this long considering all they have encountered in their little lives.) Oh, and they aren't nighttime potty trained yet. And that's okay. I mean, they sleep for 12ish hours. I can't wait that long!

Happy dancing!!

Snuggler

Late January, 2009

It surprised me today when I realized that I've never blogged about what a snuggler Tristan is. He's been that way since birth and I don't think I've ever mentioned it. Weird.

So, yeah, he's a snuggly little guy. He has always liked to be held. Even still, he will take a break from crawling around and playing to spend some time in the arms of me or Chuck.

When Tristan was an infant, he demanded to be held. He has a super flat head (still! but don't worry the Dr. has been watching it), but it is not from being left laying on the back of his head! In fact, when I'd talk about it with people (you know, cuz I was worried about it) I'd always share that we definitely hold him.

Something that has soothed him while upset right from the beginning is to cup his face with the palm of my hand. He nuzzles into it and calms down, usually. And, while holding him, if you put your face against his, he will nuzzle in hard. He likes to snuggle on our shoulders, too. And he naps best in our arms. 6o minutes is about tops for sleeping in his crib for a nap, but he'll snooze for 2 hours if we sit and hold him. It doesn't happen often, though!

I guess the strange part for me is that I'm not a snuggler. I'm more of a "Don't touch me!" kind of gal. You can ask Chuck about that. We bought a king size bed a year and a half ago and one of the things I love is that I don't touch anyone while sleeping!

But, I love to snuggle Tristan. I just can't resist those little baby nuzzles. And even weirder... he's a really sweaty baby. When he sleeps his head gets soaked in perspiration. And I'll still snuggle his sweaty little head... even let him rub it on my skin (so gross!).

I guess it's a mother's love thing. And I love it!

In the Thick of It

Noah on the left, Samuel on the right

Potty training, that is!

Beware, lots of poop and pee talk ahead.

A number of wise parents told me early on that I shouldn't try to potty train the boys until they were "ready." They told me it would be futile to even try if they weren't interested.

Honestly, the boys may have been potty trained when they came home. They were handed to us with diapers on and ginormous underwear on top. We weren't told if they were potty trained or not. In the hotel in Miami, Noah tried to pee in the bathtub and Chuck quickly moved him to the toilet. After that he wanted nothing to do with peeing in the toilet.

And to be even more honest, I don't think I was ready to potty train them. Tristan was a very needy infant. He was held much of the time so that he wouldn't scream and he was exclusively breastfed for nine months. So, I knew that I couldn't be running to the potty with TWINS throughout the day.

About 6 or so weeks ago, Noah began pooping on the potty, but not peeing. We were excited. He was excited. For every trip to the potty he got 3 Skittles and a "Rusty Diaper." (A Rusty Diaper is a Lightning McQueen Pullup. The boys call him Rusty.) And when he began peeing in the potty, the Pullups turned into underwear. He was so proud of himself, and so were we! We quickly learned that if we put shorts on over the underwear, we were sure to have an accident. The underwear by themselves seemed to keep him aware of peeing on the potty. So, he was "sort of" potty trained.

During this time, all Samuel wanted in life was a Rusty Diaper. He would nearly cry for one. He wanted candy, too, but the Rusty Diaper was his true desire. When Noah moved into underwear (and yes, they were Cars underwear!), Samuel was beside himself with envy. And we were glad about it. We went through a few weeks of Samuel coming to me and telling me he wanted to poop on the potty, but it was already in his diaper. Bad timing. Then, 2 weeks ago on the way home from church he told Chuck he wanted "to go poopoo on the potty." They were about 15 minutes from home and Chuck asked him if he could wait (all the while feeling very bummed that we were missing an opportunity with Samuel). Well, when they got home, Samuel pooped on the potty. And he has only pooped in his diaper once at night since. And, to make it all the better, Samuel immediately started peeing on the potty as well. He has maybe had one or two accidents since! He wakes up from naps dry. It just really clicked for him and we are so happy for him.

Last week we were in MI. Samuel did great with potty training while there. Noah, not so much. He really seemed to regress while there. I think there were three major factors to his regression: 1) His routine was altered since we were out of town and staying with family. 2) He was no longer the only one getting all the praise. Samuel was now sharing the spotlight (and the toilet!). 3) I think some of it is defiance. Noah has a tendency toward defiance and I think we have some (definitely not all) of that going on.

But, the good news is.... we are getting there!! I'm quite grossed out by a lot of potty training stuff, but we are slowly saying goodbye to diapers. Yay!!

Birthday Boy!

One year ago today.

This morning

Such a smily little guy!

It is so hard for me to believe that Tristan is a year old today. I cannot believe how quickly the time has gone by!

Tristan is such a fun little guy. He is H-A-P-P-Y most of the time. But when he is not, he IS NOT.

While having Tristan was indeed planned, the timing of the arrival of all three of our kids nearly at once was not. I questioned God on that for quite some time. It was HARD. Really hard. We operated in survival mode for months. Looking back on it, I don't know how I held it together. In the last few months, Chuck and I have acquired some hindsight. We have realized that having Tristan at the same time as the arrival of Noah and Samuel actually brought us some peace.

Noah and Samuel had a pretty good transition, but it was still hard. They were so afraid of everything when they came home. They freaked out a lot. Their diapers were horrible and we were terrified that Tristan would catch giardia from them. Not to mention, we were first time parents. We had no idea what we were doing. We were scared.

At the end of a long day, after the twins were in bed, we would hold Tristan and experience peace. There is just something so calming about holding an infant. And still today, there is something very calming about holding this 21 1/2 lb baby boy.

Tristan definitely says Mama and Dada and mimics other words. He is not quite walking... he seems to like holding on to furniture as he walks and runs along. He gets right in the mix and plays with the big boys. Just recently Noah and Samuel have become a little less gentle with him and I think it's because they don't view him as a baby anymore. Tristan is transitioning well to table food and is down to nursing just before bed now. I have slowly been weaning him from breastfeeding for about a month and a half and he would not drink formula, so he is drinking whole milk. (I know, I know, he shouldn't have had milk before a year old, but he just wouldn't drink the formula.) He has five teeth and #6 is so close to breaking through that I had to check before I typed five. He still fits in some of his 12 month clothing, but is more comfortably fitting in 18 month clothing now (though pants are a little long).

Tristan has never been a good napper. His morning nap is usually only 30 minutes long and his afternoon nap is considered long if he makes it 60 minutes. He goes to bed between 7:30 and 8 and is up at 5:30, much to our dismay. We give him milk at about 6 and he will go back to sleep for a little while some days after drinking his milk.

A recent nickname we've given Tristan is "T-Bird." When Tristan screams, he sounds like a pterodactyl. In learning about pterodactyls I found that they belong to the bird family; they are not considered dinosaurs.

Tristan's little personality just keeps emerging. He's pretty strong willed. He wants what he wants... when he wants it. Yes, he is my son. He's also pretty funny. He has taken his stinker face to a whole new level. He now will do the stinker face and then laugh... like he's just kidding. While typing this post he added an eye roll to the stinker face when my sister told him to take a car out of his mouth. Oh my.

Tomorrow we will have a family birthday party for Tristan. We are grateful to be able to celebrate this day with family here in MI. Even my Dad is here, visiting from Florida.

I just love this little guy to pieces. He keeps me on my toes and deprives me of sleep and rattles my brain with his screeching, but it's all worth it. When he's snuggled up in my arms or flashing me a baby grin or sleeping peacefully in his crib I know without a doubt that I have been blessed beyond measure.

Happy Birthday, baby boy!

Stinker Face

It all began about four weeks ago. I should have known where we were heading when Tristan reduced his two older brothers to tears in a few minutes.

Tristan has become, ummmm, challenging in the last month. He has taken the idea of exerting his will to a new level and multiplied it.

I think becoming more and more mobile is adding to it. He is hearing the word no a lot more than ever. I try to distract him with another option, but this little guy will not be fooled. He wants what he wants.

The dishwasher is of particular interest to Tristan. I have to sneakily load and unload it. I used to let him play at the dishwasher, but that went out the window when he grabbed a knife last week. And it wasn't a butter knife.

There are a lot of things that bring out the "Stinker Face." One of the things that brings it out is his bib. He hates bibs; has hated them since he was a newborn. And since he's been primarily breastfed, he hasn't had to deal with them too often. He's not exceptionally drooly (unlike myself) so he doesn't have to wear them all the time like some of his little friends. We mainly bust them out at meals. And he hates them.

I must add that the Stinker Face is accompanied by high pitched screaming. This is a vocal kid. Always has been. And he's loud. Like rattle your brain loud. God is funny like that. He gave me three kids at once, 2 with a language barrier and h-o-r-r-i-d giardia, who were afraid of all things and wouldn't eat almost anything, and a screaming banshee for a baby. It is really something else that I haven't completely lost it. But I'm getting off track.

Enjoy the Stinker Face.

Trying to remove the bib. He usually succeeds.

Mommy tells him, "No."

Winding up. It looks like a smile, but it is not.
No, it is not. That, my blog friends, is a baby smirk.

The Stinker Face. Eyebrows furrowed. Angry eyes.

Nose scrunched up. Lips pursed. This is accompanied

by huffing and puffing through the nostrils with

intermittent screams. You will notice the moving

hands. They beat up and down. Unfortunately he

has his head bowed, so you don't get the full effect.

It is truly something else.

Some pictures

Three little boys all looking in the direction of

the camera... too bad they aren't smiling...

A man's best friend

Tristan at the beach on Mother's Day

Noah and Samuel at the beach on Mother's Day

Noah and Samuel's first icecream cones.

This is nothing compared to when it was all gone!

Noah nursing Samuel :)

First time in the sand at the beach

Tristan was hot like mommy

Tristan thoroughly enjoys his biter biscuits!

One year ago today...

... I woke up bright an early hoping to find an email from Haiti for Noah and Samuel's visa appointment - the very last step in our grueling process.

I was dissappointed. The email was not there. When I had spoke with the women in Haiti the day before she told me she would email me with a confirmation of our appointment.

I checked my email a few more times. And then a few more times.

And then, shockingly, the email was there. I was in utter disbelief. I began to shake. And then to cry. Chuck and my mom were here. It was surreal.

And, on top of it all, it was my due date for Tristan. Of course, he didn't arrive until nine long days later.

So much has changed in a year!

In the last few days...

... Tristan has started dancing.

It is so cute.

If he is standing, he bounces at his knees. His arms move up and down.

If he is sitting, his arms move up and down and he sort of bounces and is all smiles.

Today I learned that I can stop him in his tracks (only for a few seconds) by singing the ABC's because he has to stop so he can dance. This is good if I can't get to him quick enough. Buys me a little time. Because he is ALWAYS getting into stuff.