The Battle Belongs to the Lord

I'm doing an awesome Bible study right now. It is so perfectly timed by God for my life.

Without going into a lot of detail, I was quite disappointed this weekend in regard to our adoption. Please, no inquiries via the comments. I will delete them. Email me privately instead at ittybitties@msn.com.

In my Bible study today I read 2 Chronicles 20:1-30. It's a wonderful story of God totally taking care of a situation that was totally out of control. I encourage you to read it. King Jehoshaphat and his people are about to get hosed by the enemy simply because the enemy is so much greater in numbers than they are. Ever feel like that? I sure have. So anyway, God speaks to them, and part of what He says in 20:17 is, "You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you."

After God tells them this, Jehoshaphat and his people worship God. And while they were singing praises, God defeated their enemy for them. Pretty cool, huh?

This really spoke to my heart in regard to our adoption. This battle is the Lord's battle. Rather than fight, I'm going to worship Him and take up my position, which is to keep my eyes on Him. I will stand firm, expecting deliverance. I will not be afraid. I will not be discouraged. I will face them tomorrow, whoever they are, and the Lord will be with me.

Now a word of warning to my enemy: You were better off when you were in battle against just little ole me. As of right now, you are battling against the Lord. I have given it to Him. Why don't you go ask Satan how well it will go for you. Whoever you are, wherever you are, you are up against the King of all Kings. I almost feel sorry for you, almost. My heart beats hard just typing this. The second grader in me wants to say, "You are in BIG trouble." As I sing praises to the Lord, He will be in battle against you on my behalf. You will not succeed in keeping our boys from us.

Go God!

October Update Photos!

Samuel nearly smiling

Closer to smiling...

Smiley Noah

Getting pictures or updates on process is golden on the long path of adoption. It is sooooo good to see our boys' precious faces. Oh, Lord, bring them home soon.

Happy Birthday Blog

Today our Blog turns 1. Yippee!!

It is funny to me that starting the Blog completely stressed me out because I thought it would be so hard. Blogger makes it so simple. I encourage you, if you have been afraid to start a blog, to give it a try. I have found it to be an easy way to share information with our friends and family. It is also, at times, a great piece of encouragement. It will also serve as a record of our journey to our boys. You can actually have your blog turned into a book. We will do that with this sometime in the future so that our boys will have a piece of their story forever.

Thanks to those of you who read, and especially to those of you who comment. I'm not a great commentor on other blogs, so if you don't leave comments that is totally okay.

Happy Birthday to Blog
Happy Birthday to Blog
Happy Birthday dear Blo - og
Happy Birthday to Blog!

Yes, I am a dork. I'm okay with that.

Super Bad News

We are not moving this weekend. Or next weekend. Our buyer switched jobs last month, so we have to wait to close until he is in his new position for 30 days. The soonest we can close is the 29th, which is a Monday. Talk about a bummer.

We have packed all our cleaning stuff and our toiletries. Our living room is full of stuff that was in our attic. We have suitcases packed. We are paying for utilities at the new place. I was so ready to move.

We are mostly bummed for how hard our loan officer and his mortgage processor worked to get Chuck's disibility rating. They got it today. So, we don't have to pay the VA funding fee. That is a huge praise. A lady named Brenda worked really hard to get it. I feel most sorry for her that we aren't closing on time. If you could say a little prayer that God blesses her, that would be awesome.

Chuck and I are going to hang out tonight and try to keep our eyes on Jesus, so if you call and we don't answer, please don't take it personal. We just need some time to process this.

Thanks.

More Prayers Needed Please

Well, we need to ask for some more prayers. The people who are buying our house haven't come out of underwriting yet. This means they aren't yet ready to close. Our agent says that they are close, and if they come out of underwriting early tomorrow morning, we can still close on time at 3 p.m. tomorrow. So, please join us in praying that their file comes out of underwriting and that the loan documents get emailed by tomorrow morning. We trust that God wouldn't bring us this far to just drop us off on our face. He has it all planned and figured out, we trust that.

Thanks!

Please Pray

2:00 Update: The move has been rescheduled to Friday. We haven't confirmed with our buyer that this is okay. Please join us in praying it's okay. It's technically their fault we are in this predicament anyway since they are the ones keeping us from closing tomorrow. So, the packers don't come tomorrow; they come Thursday instead. Friday they will load our stuff and take it to the new house. I will be really happy when this is over.
_________________________________________

I need to ask for prayer for our closing and move.

Our closing keeps getting pushed back further and further, and at this point will probably delay our move. I learned this morning that the moving company won't move you on the day of closing. Our closing will likely occur on Thursday, which is the same day we were to be moved. So, now we are likely going to reschedule our move for Friday. We are waiting to hear from our buyer to see if they are okay with us being in this house a day longer.

I trust and believe that God has a plan. I would like to be in on it, though. Please join me in praying that things get figured out so we can reschedule the move if need be. This is a big opportunity for me to not stress out and keep my eyes on Jesus. That's what my Bible Study has been teaching me. I guess this is my opportunity to put it into action.

Thanks!

It's Best to Call...

If you need to reach us this week, please call us. We'll be checking email intermittently. We will be without Internet Thursday and Friday.

We move on Thursday. I think we close late on Wednesday (we'll see).

No word yet on if the Someone was able to help Chuck's VA file. I'm still praying.

Shoot me an email at ittybitties@msn.com if you want our new address. Our cell phones will stay the same and we will be adding a home phone. Two months of going over our minutes on our cell phones makes a home phone very attractive.

Packing of toiletries and cleaning supplies has officially begun. My denial about moving went out the window today. Oh my gosh, I'm moving this week. I have so much to do. Thank God for movers!

Someone Knows Someone Who Knows Someone

And that someone may be able to get Chuck's Veteran's Affairs disibility rating done before we close on our home. Please pray that it is so. It makes about a $6000 dollar difference.

And if you're going to be praying for that, could you add prayers that our closing can happen on Tuesday instead of Friday OR that we can get our move changed to accomodate the fact that the seller WILL NOT let us in before we close?

On a happier note, we had the new house sprayed for bugs today. The bug man told me that there shouldn't be much of a bug problem there since he didn't see much to be concerned about. That's good news. That doesn't cover mosquitoes. Mosquitoes seriously own the city, so that screened in porch will be well used.

Tomorrow morning we have someone coming to estimate how much crap we have that the military will have to move. We're getting closer! Saturday, I think, will be the day that I pull down all the pictures and fill nail holes.

That's all for now.

Draw Your Strength from Him

Ahhh. Just what I needed. I'm doing this great Bible Study called "Because of Jesus" by Connie Witter. It is awesome. Since I've been waking up sick this week, I wasn't as far along in the study as I should have been. But once again, God's timing is perfect. The title of today's study was, "Draw Your Strength from Him." Yeah, perfect for where I'm at today. When I opened the book and read the title I knew it was going to be just what I needed. I envisioned this fuel tank within me that was empty. It seems that no matter what I've tried to fill it with today, I can't. I realized that I need to fill it with God. He is the only good fuel for my soul. I'd been trying to fill it with updates on our adoption, encouraging emails, reading blogs, reading comments on my blog, and information on Haitian adoption in general. None of that is fuel for my soul, but when I'm expecting it to be that fuel, I'm deeply discouraged when it doesn't fill me. The ONLY fuel I need is God. I will walk through the rest of this day with Him as my fuel. And maybe, just maybe, I've learned a lesson today that will follow me all the days of my life.

One of Those Days

I'm having one of those days. You know, the ones where nothing seems to go well, the ones where your emotions are all out of whack, the ones where you think, "I just can't do this."

I'm adoption weary today. I've read too many stories recently of failed adoptions. So, not only am I tired of waiting, I'm also afraid. I know that fear is not of God.

I'm house weary today, too. The seller of the house we are moving into will not let us in early. It is vacant and we are willing to pay rent, all of which is normal practice, but they won't budge. So, we are attempting to move up our closing date by 3 days and rent back this house. I'm also pretty bummed that God hasn't come through yet on the VA disability rating. He can do it. I'd like Him to do it. He hasn't yet.

I'm not feeling well to top it all off. I'm not sure if it's allergies or the flu, but I've had a headache for two days now and I feel nauseous.

Sorry to whine. Just being honest here. I'm going to spend some time with God now.

Yesterday's Service

First of all, I apologize for the tardiness of this post. I said I'd post in the a.m. and it is definitely p.m. Most of this a.m. was spent sleeping because I had a fabulous time with a friend staying up until 3 a.m. playing some Super Mario Brothers 3 last night. We whipped out my old Nintendo and had ourselves a little sleepover. It was mad fun, but I am way too old to stay up that late!!

Okay, Church yesterday. It was awesome!! Most of our Launch Team was there at 7:30 a.m. to set up. I helped prepare communion. I broke the crackers, that was my job. Since I'm obsessive compulsive about most things, it was a good job for me. I had to break those crackers down to just the right size. By 8:45 we had communion ready to go. From there I went to help out in other areas, but most everything was done. We just had some straightening up and putting away of things to do. We were completely ready to go at 9:30. By 9:45 I was feeling like I could throw up and wondering where all the people were. And then they began to trickle in. I was standing near our information table watching the door and seeing people come in. Most had kids with them. Our people pointed them in the right direction for Children's Ministry and the auditorium. There was a good vibe.

Then, I got pulled into the toddler room (13 - 23 months). I agreed to help out there if they needed me. They needed me. Actually, they needed a lot more than me, but they got me. I walked into a room of 12 toddlers and about 8 of them were crying LOUD. It was insane. I grabbed a crying kid and settled her down. Then another and another. Two of them would not chill out. They were both toddlers of Lauch Team members and they both have a tendency to not like being left in Children's Ministry. We ended up having their parents come and get them because they were way too upset. So, we (me and 4 others) settled down with the babies and played. We talked about how God made the water and the dry land and the kids got to play with some water. One of them was insisting on getting in the tub of water. It was so cute!

So, I'm sure you're thinking, "That's nice Juli, but we want to hear about the service." I can only tell you what I heard since I wasn't in there: It went great!! The people were excited to be there. We show a video sermon and people seemed to be into it. They laughed when they should have.

After the service Chuck says people swarmed our info table looking for info to give to their friends. Chuck says it got a little crazy over there as people swarmed looking for stuff to pick up. I left the toddler room after most of the kids had been picked up and I hung out in the lobby looking for people to talk to. There were a few ladies there that I knew. They had attended a small group that Chuck led in Chesapeake 3 years ago. Both had stopped going to Forefront (because of how far away it was) and had also stopped attending Gel Group (small group). It was so good to see them there at church. They were pumped to be there and said they looked forward to coming back.

Chuck did really well. He remembered all his stuff that he had to say. He did jump up on stage before a video that he was supposed to wait for, but our production team just rolled with it and inserted the video later in the service. Some people who know him well told me that they could tell he was a little nervous, but that you wouldn't know if you didn't know him. I'm supposed to be able to view a video of the whole service sometime this week. There's a part of me that was relieved to not be in the auditorium because I would have been so nervous for Chuck that I don't know if I would have enjoyed the service. I sure hope that feeling goes away!

I will try to get Chuck to make an appearance on the blog so that he can tell you about things from his perspective. Oh, and by the way, he was so stinking cute on Sunday. He got some new duds and looked very handsome.

It Went Well!!

This is just a quick post as naptime is calling...

It went really well! We were set up with plenty of time to spare. The count I heard was that there was a total of 213 adults and kids. The people who were new were VERY excited to be there.

I spent the morning with toddlers, so I didn't get to see the service. I will get to watch a video tape of it, though. Chuck did great.

We are pooped and are taking a nap now. If I don't post more tonight, I definitely will in the morning.

Thank you for the prayers!

The Most Important Thing

The most important thing to me in the world is that I know Jesus. And not only that I know Him, but that I follow Him. It is in my choice to follow Jesus that I am promised eternal life in Heaven. If none of that makes sense to you, or if you want to talk more about this, please email me at ittybitties@msn.com.

The most important thing to me as a Jesus follower is that I share Him with others. He's just to good to keep to myself. I must talk to other people about Him. I've been given an amazing gift and the great news is that it's available to us all.

Tomorrow morning me and Chuck and over 100 other people are sharing Jesus with the city of Chesapeake. We've worked over a year for this. We've prayed harder than we've ever prayed before. We've made sacrifices of time, energy, and money. We've had immense joy and we've cried hard.

Tomorrow morning at 10 a.m. we will share the hope of Jesus. We have prayed that people will come. We ask that you'd join us in prayer in these last 19 or so hours. Please pray that people will come tomorrow morning and that they will find hope; that they'll find a place with authentic people who really care; that they'll find Jesus, even if they didn't mean to. Please pray that everything will come together perfectly tomorrow morning for our services. We meet in a high school, so there is a great deal of set up involved. Please pray for good weather. Please pray for Chuck as he'll be on stage and has to remember to say A LOT of things. Please pray that all we do tomorrow is a reflection of Jesus to others and that we bring God glory. It is all for Him.

My heart beats hard as I type this. I am so excited and nervous all together. My eyes well up with tears as I think about people who could be impacted by our church. In all my life, I've never felt that what I was doing was more important than what we are doing tomorrow morning. Sure, I've shared Jesus before, but never in this way. New churches are far more effective at reaching lost people than churches that have been around for a while (just ask Barna), so we have a great advantage when it comes to impacting lives.

To God be the glory. I'll post tomorrow and let you know how it went.

Jarrod, A Miracle

I think that all babies are miracles. The fact that God makes these little people, grows them inside a woman's womb, and brings them into this world amazes me. Sometimes, though, the lives of these babies are filled with many more miracles. Jarrod is a baby like that.

Today is Jarrod's first birthday. It's also Brady's first birthday. Happy Birthday, guys! They don't know each other, but I know them both and I can tell you that they've had a very different first year of life.

Brady has pretty much had a 'normal' baby life so far. He is such a cute little guy! I will see him later today and I look forward to watching him eat cake.

At about 6 weeks old or so, Jarrod became a victim of Shaken Baby Syndrome. He spent months in the hospital. The outlook was grim. I know his grandparents, whom I see once a week. They asked for prayer and I prayed. God kept this baby strongly on my heart. And slowly, healing began to take place within Jarrod. Each week I'd see Jarrod's grandparents and hear how he was doing. Their path was tough, but they walked it with so much grace and faith in God. They believed that God would bring healing to their grandson, and He has.

I have not yet met Jarrod, but his grandma shows me pictures. I still pray for him when God puts him on my heart. He still has some challenges, but the fact that he has made it to his first birthday is indeed a miracle when I think of his early days in the hospital.

When God shows us miracles, I think it's important for us to pause and thank Him - not only for the miracle itself, but also that we were allowed to witness it. So, thank you, God for the miracle of Jarrod and thank you for allowing me the honor of witnessing it.

Upcoming Move

We learned today that the house we are buying appraised for a little more than it needed to. Yeah!! God just keeps moving us forward. I've been guarded in thinking about what will go where, etc. in the new house in case things don't work out. This whole house buying journey was quite the rollercoaster ride, and I've been careful about getting to attached to this one in case something goes wrong. At this point, the only thing that can go wrong is financing. Our buyer is using a reputable mortgage company and so are we. We are approved for far more than we are spending on our home, so we should be fine. If our buyer were to lose his job, that would be a deal killer. I'm pretty sure he is military, so that is unlikely. I'm pretty sure Chuck won't be losing his job either.

Today I went out looking for refrigerators and dishwashers because we need them in the new house. Virginia is offering no sales tax on energy efficient appliances purchased this weekend. So, we will for sure buy our fridge this weekend and maybe a dishwasher. Anyone out there know how to install a dishwasher from scratch? Chuck can do it, but I don't want his back to have to do it. Those types of projects are killer on his back.

I also went looking for storage cabinets for the garage. I found what I want at Walmart. I was tempted to buy it, but didn't because I wanted to wait until we learned about the appraisal. Now that the appraisal is in, I'll probably go pick up the cabinet.

So, our timeline is 2 weeks. On Wednesday, October 17th the movers come to pack our home. While I LOVE that I don't have to do this, it's a little awkward to have people in the house packing up EVERYTHING.

On October 18th they will load everything up and take it to the new house to deliver it. They do not unpack our stuff. I'm glad. I like to do that at my own pace (which is furious) and put things where I want to put them.

We don't actually close on the houses until the 19th, which will be interesting since we are scheduled to move into the new place on the 18th. It is vacant, but we haven't yet worked out getting in early with our seller. Hopefully Ed will be able to get that worked out soon. We are actually hoping to gain access at least a week earlier. We want to have the house sprayed for bugs prior to moving in and we'd like to paint before the house is full of our stuff. We'll see how it goes. Plus, I haven't given up hope that Veteran's Affairs could come up with a disibility rating before we close so that we don't have to pay the loan funding fee. So, if you'd like to join us in prayer, please pray that we can get into the house early and that Chuck gets his VA disability rating very soon. God can do these things. They are so minor. We place them in His hands.

So, that's the scoop.

Link for the Bar Service

Here's a link to a video about our bar service:

http://www.hamptonroads.tv/index.cfm?locvid=133836&tid=r700&fv=1

Opening Service at the Bar

Last night our Pembroke Campus, the one that meets in a bar, started. It was awesome. I decided to go since I'll be serving in Children's Ministry at the Chesapeake Campus and will miss the sermon this Sunday.

I got there super early with a friend who is actually on the Pembroke Campus Launch Team. Her job was to run the computer for the night. I got to help prepare communion. It was so neat to watch them get set up, to watch the band practice, to see the bar begin to fill up, and to see a real church service happening in a bar.

The bar was packed! There were well over 100 people (someone told me 108). At least half were people from our church, but there were lots of new faces. Even a few news crews came out. I'll be sure to post links to stories if they end up on the internet.

All in all, I'd say it was a huge success. It was nearly silent during the message, and it was an awesome message all about how God loves bad people and how our church is a church for bad people. Our senior pastor shared part of his own testimony of his badness and the forgiveness he's experienced from God.

My favorite story from last night is about a girl who stopped by our information table on her way out and picked up a free Bible. Someone overheard her say, "This is the first time I've ever even touched a Bible." Now how cool is that?? She went to the bar for the evening and left with a Bible!!

Church

I realized recently that I haven't blogged a whole lot about the church campus we are starting. I blogged about our Tuesday night bar service, but I don't think I've said a whole lot about the campus Chuck and I are involved in.

I've been pretty vague about where we live and all, but I'm just gonna spill it and hope that no one comes to stalk me.

We attend Forefront Church in Virginia Beach (yes, that is in Virginia). Well, I should say we used to attend Forefront Church in Virginia Beach. I say that because yesterday we began attending Forefront Church in Chesapeake (also in VA, right next to Virginia Beach)!! Chuck and I are involved in one of the coolest things ever - our church is going to a multi-site model to reach more people, and yesterday we had our practice service for our new Chesapeake Campus. It was awesome. It was not perfect or flawless, but it was indeed awesome. Last summer Chuck accepted the job for the Campus Pastor role at this new campus, but didn't come on staff until May. For over a year, he and the staff of our church have been working diligently to get our Chesapeake Campus started. Our Chesapeake Campus is live everything except for the preaching. We have video of the same message being preached at our Virginia Beach Campus. As our staff worked out the filming for Chesapeake, the bar campus (AKA - Pembroke Campus) evolved.

I was nearly in tears as I looked around yesterday - just in awe of how God brought everything and everyone together. We had a full Children's Ministry, we had a rockin' band leading us in worship, we HAD CHURCH IN CHESAPEAKE!! I'm just so excited that it's finally here and that God has blessed it so much. I can remember last year in November when we had like 3 volunteers signed up for our Chesapeake Campus. We probably easily had 60 people volunteering in some capacity yesterday. It is just incredible to have watched this grow. And I can't wait to see what God has in store for us.

Please join us in praying that this Sunday - our opening Sunday - will be a day that completely honors and blesses God. Please pray that many lost people will come through our doors and find hope.

I'll be sure to let you know how our opening Sunday service goes. Feel free to check out our website in the meantime: www.forefront.org

Responsibility

Responsibility - what does it mean? For years, I had no idea. It took some hard lessons in life to teach me about responsibility.

The kind of responsibility I'm about to talk about is not in the same category as taking care of your home or kids or health care. It goes deeper than that. The kind of responsibility I began to learn about 8 years ago is self responsibility.

You see, life is rough. Crap happens. Things go wrong. We get lied to. We get cheated. And we can live our lives as a victim if we want. I've learned that I ALWAYS have a part. Even in the super nasty things that happen in life. It's not always a big part, and it's not always that bad, but it is a ball I set in motion that I must look at.

Looking for my part in bad situations, quite honestly, sucks. I hate it, but I've learned that it is something I must do. I make decisions every day, and some of them come back to bite me. For example, right now my stomach is a wreck. Today Chuck and I ate at Outback (thanks to a gift card!) and I ate my steak medium rare. I loved it. I always do. But, I know that eating a nearly raw steak is going to upset my body, it always does. I made the choice, now I live with the consequences of that choice. I could just say, "Gosh, every time I eat a medium rare steak at Outback I get sick. How come they keep getting me sick?" But you see, the problem is mine, not Outback's.

I have some really hard stuff going on in my life right now. But, before I go pointing the finger I have to look for my responsibility in it. And it's there. I've made choices that put me in a position to be hurt. I have to take responsibility for that. It doesn't change the situation or the wrong that has been done to me, but it gives me a fair perspective and keeps me from playing the victim role.

And I think God blesses us when we take responsibility. It's what He's about, because it's truth. Taking responsibility for my actions is living out truth in my life. I've come to realize that not everyone out there operates this way, and that's too bad because there is so much freedom in it. When I look at myself for who I truly am and what I've done, I get free. The nagging in my spirit goes away and I have peace, even in the storms of life. It's when I don't choose to look at my part that I struggle. God's grace is so overwhelming when it comes to taking responsibility in my life. He is SO good.

Haiti

Many of you know, but in case you didn't, I was in Haiti last week. I had the wonderful honor of escorting a friend's daughter to Miami. Erlande is 8 years old and joined her family on Friday. It's one of the coolest things God's allowed me to be a part of.

I learned some sad news while in Haiti. I had the opportunity to talk to our Haitian processor and I learned that our paperwork is not as far along in process as we've been told. Yes, we did clear Parquet last week, but it was for the first time. According to our facilitator, your paperwork goes to Parquet, then goes for Judgment, then goes back to Parquet for the Judgment to be signed off on. We were told last Friday that we had gotten the 2nd Parquet approval needed so that our dossier could move on. On Sunday I learned that wasn't true. Our paperwork had been in Parquet since the end of January, so that's 8 months sitting in one office. Now we are waiting to hear that we have Judgment, then our paperwork will go back to Parquet for them to sign off on that. It was totally disheartening to learn this, but at least we know the truth now.

My stay in Haiti was wonderful. The last 4 times I went to Haiti we had to stay at an expensive hotel because that is where our mission trip leaders decided to stay. This time I stayed at Wall's International Guest House and absolutely loved it. It was not as nice as the hotel, but they made up for it in other ways. The food was delicious and breakfast and lunch were included in the daily cost - which is only $35 if you have an airconditioned room. The staff was amazing - completely polite and helpful. They went above and beyond to help me out. They have a great swimming pool that they vacuum daily. They also have wireless internet access available for only $2 a day. There were drawbacks - the showers were cold. Not ice cold, but definitely cold. The AC was only for five hours at night. There are not choices at mealtime - it's what they make and that's it. Overall, I felt that the good far outweighed the bad and I will never again stay at Visa Lodge if I can help it.

I've turned off comments on this post because I'm sure some people will be as upset as we were about what I've posted about our paperwork and I don't want a bunch of discouraging comments linked to this. I didn't share it to get people riled up. I shared it because this blog's purpose is to share our journey in adopting our boys. We post updates - all of them, good and bad. As always, feel free to email me if you want.

Inspection Went Well

I heard from Chuck that the home inspection went well. Thanks for all your prayers. With the whole funding fee problem I really prayed and asked God to use the home inspection as our way out if it wasn't His plan for us to be in that house.

The inspector found a few minor things that we will ask the seller to fix, but none of them are deal breaker items. The AC unit is 20 years old, so we will FOR SURE be buying a home warranty plan.

The only item left is the appraisal, and we're not worried about that.

Thanks again for your prayers!

A Dream Come True

Today I visited the Immigration Building and MOI in Haiti. I will blog more about my trip later. I want to talk about my visit to the Immigration Building.

Before I begin, I need to give some background info. On July 9th I posted about a dream I had. I'd hyperlink it if I could figure out how. Instead I'll paste it below:

In my dream I was in this great big room in Haiti, probably as big as a large gymnasium. There were tons of people - white and black, adults and kids. In this room appointments were happening that were making it possible for kids to go home to their forever families. It was loud and chaotic, but everyone was happily waiting to be called. There was happiness in the room because all the Haitian kids were very close to going home. Their American families were there
with them. I watched as one family got called. They were adopting two Haitian kids. I began to cry so hard when they got called because I knew that meant they were very close to going home. Pictures of the Haitian kids were taken for their passports so that the passports could be made. Then they waited to get their passports.In my dream I knew that it wasn't our turn. In fact, Chuck and the boys weren't there. It was like I was getting to watch it all happen. I wasn't
upset at all that it wasn't our turn. I was just so thrilled to see that these kids were finally getting to go home.

Today I believe this dream came true. We were in the Immigration Building and we had to walk through this huge room (yes, probably as big as a gymnasium). There were probably 30 rows of folding chairs, and the first 10 or so rows were filled with people waiting. As soon as we were in the room my mind flashed back to the dream. It wasn't exactly the way I saw things in my dream, and there weren't a bunch of kids, but I really sensed that this was the room I dreamt about. Passports are issued in the immigration building. I was with my friend, who was there to get her child's passport. It wasn't my turn, but I was so happy for her.

When I had the dream, a good friend told me she believed it was prophetic. I believe it was. When I thought about the dream back in July, it made no sense to me because why would I be in Haiti where passports are issued if it wasn't my turn?? Well, I was there today and it wasn't my turn.

Just another sprinkling of God's love in my life.

Prayer Request

Okay, we have a prayer request.

We are using Chuck's VA benefit for our home loan. As you probably know, Chuck was medically retired from the Coast Guard in May. As a disabled veteran, one of the benefits is that we don't have to pay the funding fee for the VA home loan. Well, Vetran's Affairs hasn't yet rated Chuck for his disability, so therefore we aren't yet eligible to have the funding fee waived. We are talking thousands of dollars that we will have to roll into our mortgage.

Chuck has been on the phone with Vetran's Affairs and they have told him they are sorry, but the best they can do is pay our lender the funding fee once he is rated (which could be a number of months). That's great, but our monthly mortgage payment will be higher because of this. Even though Vetran's Affairs says there is nothing they can do, we know God can do it. If it's His will for us to not have to pay the funding fee, He will make it happen. Please join us in prayer that this is so.

I really feel like this is just one more of Satan's schemes in our life lately to get our focus off of what is important. We will continue to keep our eyes on Jesus and the direction He has for us.

Update on House Stuff

Our house passed the termite and moisture inspection yesterday, so it is good to go. Our home inspection on the new place is scheduled for tomorrow at noon. If the inspection turns out good the appraisal will be ordered. So, we are getting there. I'll blog more when I know more.

About the House

I just sent an email to my friend Kelly, telling her a little bit about the house, and realized I should share some details here. Earlier this week Kelly reminded me that when the original house we fell in love with became unavailable I told her that obviously God had something better in store for us. I had lost sight of that. I told Kelly that there was no way God could give us something better than that in our price range because that sold for more than what we are willing to spend. I should have known better. Not only is the new place better than that one, it's also in a better school district. I'm sorry I doubted God and Kelly.

Anyway, the house is 1300 sq ft, which for us is exactly 220 more sq ft than we currently have. It also has an attached one car garage and an attached screened in porch. I LOVE a screened porch, especially in a city where the mosquitoes seriously wage war against the residents.

It has 3 good size bedrooms, and the master bedroom has a bathroom with a stand up shower off of it. It has lots of closet space. The living room is huge with a vaulted ceiling (which Chuck loves). The dining area isn't a separate room, rather it's off of the living room and kitchen. There is this bonus area off of the dining area that will work as an office for us. The kitchen is vintage 1957. The only things that are maybe newer is the linoleum flooring and the countertops. The rest is all original, but pristine. It has a very retro look about it. There is currently no dishwasher, but that will change, I promise. My Dad and Chuck spent some qualitiy time nearly 3 years ago putting in a difficult dishwasher. Hopefully this one will be easier. The cupboard space isn't great, but it's probably better than what I have here. I will definitely buy a storage cupboard for in the garage for a lot of my smaller appliances. The street is a cul de sac, although the house isn't in the the cul de sac. Our current home is on a very busy cut through road. We are sooooo looking forward to a street with less traffic.

Our home inspection is Tuesday, so I'll let you know how that goes. I'm so excited. If things work out we will close on both houses on my birthday. The people buying this house want to get in sooner, but we just can't move before the 18th.

That's all for now.

Out of Parquet...And Into Parquet

What a marvelous day it's been!

First, we get fantastic adoption news.

Then, we get fantastic house news. The seller of the home we made an offer on counter-offered something reasonable, so we accepted it! That means we have a house!! Well, it needs to pass a home inspection and a termite and moisture inspection first and appraise, but as long as it does, we have a new home. God is indeed good!!

About the title - we got out of a step called Parquet today in our adoption process. The home we will move into (as long as inspections and the appraisal go well) has parquet floors. Real wood parquet floors.

Yeah for God!!

Great Adoption News!!

We got word today that our paperwork has been released from where it's been stuck (Parquet). Woohoo!! We are thrilled. The next step is the one that makes the adoption final, so we are getting there. After that is the long (and I mean long) wait for passports.

Something kind of funny... the house we put an offer on (and are impatiently waiting to hear about) has parquet floors throughout (except in the bathrooms and kitchen). Kind of ironic.

Now get up an do the happy dance for us because this is great news!!

The Guerilla Lover(s?) Got Us

At our church we like to call ourselves and be "Guerilla Lovers." We want to show God's love to people in such a way that they are kind of overcome by the love.

Well, a guerilla lover or some guerilla lovers got us. Yesterday Chuck found a gift basket on his desk at work addressed to us. Wow! It had some great stuff, but more than that it was someone loving on us. Thank you to whoever you are. It touched our hearts and came just in time. I've been in near-meltdown status for much of the week, and this really helped me refocus. Thank you! It is nice to be loved.

House News

Gosh, where do I begin? Well, our house appraised where it needed to, so we definitely have to move out. That's a wonderful thing, but I'll be even happier about it when we have a house to move into. I was really sweating the appraisal. We listed our house way above the city assessment amount, but we've done a TON of work to it. Apparently the appraiser so that. Yeah! The last house I posted about didn't work out. The people just weren't ready to move, which is weird since they put their house up for sale, but whatever.

We wrote an offer on a great house this morning. We'll see how it goes. I'm trying not to get too attached to these houses anymore, but I'll tell you that I REALLY like this one. It has plenty of space for us and a screened porch, which I love. I'll let you know when we hear something. Unless God really doesn't want us to be in that house we should be able to negotiate a contract on it.

Chuck scheduled our move for October 17-18. We should close on this house on the 19th at the latest. That is my birthday. So I might just be getting a new house on my birthday. Fun.

I Went to the Bar Last Night...

Last night I spent a few hours attending one of the coolest things I've ever been a part of. Before I tell you about it, I have to give some background information.

Chuck and I have been attending Forefront Church (www.forefront.org) for 5 years now. We've been meeting in a high school auditorium all that time and we have no plans to build a building. I worked there for a period of time as an administrative assistant and now Chuck is on staff there as a Campus Pastor. I always loved Forefront before I worked there, but once I began working there and learned how intentional every single thing they do is, I really fell in love with the church.

We use a lot of humor, really rockin' music, funny skits, pop culture, games, and much more in an attempt to get visitors to uncross their arms and let the music and the message sink in. Before I worked on staff I thought we did all that stuff just to be cool. That's not it at all. We do all that stuff because we want to reach lost people. We don't want to be the cool church in town that all the Christians flock to. We want truly lost people on the road to nowhere walking in our doors. And we get a lot of those people.

The original vision of Forefront was to have different locations all over our area. We live in an area of about 7 big cities and there are all kinds of waterways. Traffic is a mess. So, it's not always likely that a person two towns over will come to our church because it's a long drive. Over two years ago our church started moving in the direction of starting another location, or campus. I've sat in on a lot of training for this church model, so I can tell you that there are many churches across the country who have been very successful with multiple campuses. Logistics are a lot of work to figure out, but once the plan is in place you can keep adding campuses fairly easily. It's an awesome way to reach more and more people. And in our area, it's the only way that our church can reach out beyond our circle.

On October 7th our 3rd campus launches, and Chuck is the Campus Pastor of that location. The preaching at that campus will be video of our Senior Pastor. That campus will also meet in a high school. On Tuesday, October 2nd, our 2nd campus launches. The 2nd location came about because we needed a midweek place to film our Senior Pastor preaching so that on Sunday morning the two campuses would hear the exact same message. God's plan for that video venue turned out to be The White Horse Pub in Pembroke Mall. Last night I went to the first of two practice services for The White Horse Pub location. It was awesome. There were a number of us from our church there, but there was also a bar full of people who didn't mean to, but ended up going to church last night. They enjoyed the music and the message. They didn't go running out the door. They stayed. The owner and his waitstaff enjoyed it too. We brought in a lot more business than they are used to getting on a Tuesday night.

Okay, if you are reading this and you are thinking, "Oh my goodness, this is blasphemy!" I'm going to tell you that you have a right to your opinion. I'm also going to ask you a few questions.
Who is the last lost, and I mean truly lost, person that you successfully reached out to and brought to Jesus. How many non-Christians do you hang out with? How many want to hear what you have to say? How well are you fulfilling the great commission in your own community?

I believe Jesus would preach in the bar, too. He repeatedly reached out to the people the Pharisees wanted nothing to do with. You know why? Because those lost people in the bar are precious to Him. He loves them just as much as He loves you and me. He hasn't given up on them and neither should we. Should we expect that these people will clean up their act and come to church on Sunday morning to hear about Jesus? No. As Christians we should be reaching out to them.

So, I'm pretty excited about what our church is doing. You don't have to be. But I wanted to blog about it because it is seriously one of the coolest things I've ever witnessed.

Update on the Update

We got some not-so-good news. The sellers of the house we made the offer on don't think they can be out soon enough for us. That and they don't want to come to an agreement on the offer either. God can do anything, so if this house is meant to be ours, He will make it so.

That's all for now. I'm going to have a serious talk with God about this now.

Update on the Offer

Ed says it went well. I'm really impressed that he was able to walk in with our offer and keep them interested. Ed gets mad props for that. Yay for Ed!! The sellers want to think about it tonight and should have an answer tomorrow. As much as we want this house, we are asking for God's perfect plan. Plus, with all the other stresses in our life right now, it'd be nice to have a contract on a home. I realize moving is one of the most stressful things you can do, but we will feel better once we have a home under contract.

Your prayers tonight for God's perfect will to be done would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

September Pictures of the Boys

I just got these...enjoy! Samuel is the top photo and Noah is on the bottom.

Making an Offer

Well, we are getting to be pros at writing contracts on homes. We wrote our 3rd contract with Ed today. He's presenting it to the sellers tonight (like anytime now). If you could, please say a few prayers. The sellers don't really know what they are doing (I totally mean that in a nice way - they've lived there 27 years and are selling this home without an agent.) and Ed is going to try to negotiate our contract with them. If you could, please pray specifically for Ed. This is what he's good at, just pray that God gives him the right words and timing of those words. My biggest prayer is that they aren't offended by our offer and shut down immediately.

Another thing: The appraiser came today to appraise our home. Please pray that it appraises where it needs to. The appraiser told me they (whoever "they" are) want the appraisal by Tuesday, so I'm guessing we'll know by Tuesday if it appraised where it needs to.

Thanks!

Obsessed

I'm having one of those nights. I ended up home tonight instead of out with people I'm usually out with on Friday night. I really thought I'd make good use of this time - you know, extra time at home to get things done or read a good book or work on a project.

Well, I did none of those things. As Chuck was walking out the door just before 8 he asked if maybe I could stay off the internet. I made no promises.

Well, nearly 3 hours later I am still on the internet. I got on it right after he left. It is an obsession that I have, brought on by adoption. I didn't even eat dinner, and I rarely miss a meal.

I might be wrong, but I think the only people who can truly understand this obsession are the people who are currently waiting for kids to come home or those who have kids home, but remember the wait. Because I don't have kids at home yet, I'm afforded these opportunities to spend way too much time on the internet.

When you are waiting for kids to come home, any info from said country, your orphanage, or blogs is priceless. To give an example of what this looks like I'll take you on a journey of mouse clicks. I first start with email. Any Cason Adoption specific information comes into my inbox, usually unexpectedly. Once in Outlook, I hit the Send/Receive tab just to be sure that I have all my emails in my inbox. I hit that tab a lot, just to make sure. Next, I go to the Yahoo Groups that I'm involved in. I don't get posts sent to my inbox because that can be overwhelming. I check each group for any new posts. Next I check blogs. I have 15 blogs I like to read, not all of which are adoption specific, but most of them are. A lot of these blogs have links to other blogs, and sometimes (not nearly all the time) I will look at other blogs through these blogs. I usually do this during times like tonight, but I've been known to stay up long past bedtime to read a gazillion blogs. I also check our blog because people can leave comments and I like to read them. I also check our orphanage's website to see if there is anything new there. I google search Haiti. Then, once I've exhausted all Haiti or adoption web surfing I turn to the local news and The Weather Channel. The Weather Channel is important this time of year because of hurricanes. Sometimes I'll check our church's website too. And since we're looking for a new home, I usually look at real estate.

Yes, I know this is obsessive. Now, take the above round of internet surfing and multiply it because I do this over and over again because hey, someone might have emailed me or posted to one of the groups or updated thier blog. It is sick. I agree.

If you are thinking I'm crazy, I don't blame you. I will tell you, though, that the main reason I do this is because I feel closer to the boys when I'm reading about Haiti or someone else's Haitian adoption journey. The other internet stuff is just mindless surfing, which keeps my mind off the fact that my kids are still not home. It is sick. It is my obesession, and maybe one day I'll stop. But until then, I'm just being real about the truth of it all.

We Liked It

Well, Chuck and I went to see the house I mentioned in my earlier post and we really liked it. It is 16 square feet smaller than our current house, but it didn't seem like it. The kitchen is an eat-in kitchen, but it is huge with newer vinyl flooring. I'd say the kitchen is nearly twice the size of our current kitchen. The laundry room is off of the kitchen and a newer washer and dryer come with the house. The fridge is newer, too. The living room isn't big, but it's not too tiny like some other places we've seen. There is a lot of closet space. It has 3 bedrooms and the master bedroom has a half bath. There is newer vinyl flooring and toilets in the bathrooms. The yard is small, which for us is good. Chuck was really stoked to see that it has two sheds out back. Both are really new. One is smaller and would easily store all the yard equipment. The other one is huge and could double as a work space (like with tools kind of work) and an office. If we were to use that as an office, one of the bedrooms could be used as a play room. The house also has new windows. The only drawback is that it needs new carpet desperately. We would also need to paint.

Because it is a "For Sale By Owner" house, we got to meet the owners. They are a sweet couple in their 50's who are ready to move to the Eastern Shore and relax and fish. They seemed to like us, so that is good.

We will meet with Ed in the morning to write an offer on it and see what happens. We won't be offering what they want, so we'll see how it goes. We'd love your prayers as we move forward with this. Thanks!

Update

Thanks, everyone, for the comments on the last post. Here's an update: We accepted the offer on our home. So, we have about 5 weeks before they want to close. We also made an offer on the townhome - an offer of their asking price, plus the amount of closing they said they'd give. And they counter-offered. It's insane! They asked our agent for demographic info on us (I didn't even know that was legal!) and he gave it to them. They want us to agree to lease the house for 6 months in the event that our financing doesn't come through. Apparently they have had two offers fall apart due to financing. We are not going to accept their counter-offer and we are not going to counter-offer back. When we got really honest with ourselves we both admitted we weren't super excited about the place anyway. It would work and it is in the city we want to be in, but we don't think it's the home God has for us.

So, we need to find something, after all we need to be out of our house in 5 weeks. Chuck got the call about the offer while I was gone this morning. When he couldn't reach me by phone he went to grab his laptop to start looking for homes. He really sensed God saying to him, "You don't need to do that. It's not going to help." So, he didn't get his laptop out. I'm really proud of him for that. I'm sure I would have been online in an instant.

When I called him back we talked about the counter-offer and vented our frustrations together. I told him of two properties in the original area we wanted to be in that are on the small side, and we decided we'd not do anything with the offer and start looking for another house. I asked Chuck if he wanted to meet me in the area of those homes so we could drive by them together, and he decided not to. On my way home I decided to drive by on my own. The first house I looked at looked a little rough from outside, so I went to the next one. It had a sold sign on it. I was bummed. I got in my car, turned my head, and noticed that the house right across the street is for sale by owner. They had an information tube, so I went and grabbed a flier. The owner came outside while I was looking at the flier and I spoke with him briefly. Chuck and I are going to look at it in an hour or so. If we like the inside as much as we like the outside, I'll blog about it later. So, that's the scoop. We don't know if this house is the one, but we know the townhome isn't it. Since we accepted an offer on this house, God is going to have to help us find something soon!

We Got An Offer!!

Yeah!! We got an offer on our house this afternoon. They offered us the full listing price and asked for nearly $8000 in closing cost assistance. They also didn't ask for a home inspection, which is crazy. Right away we thought about counter-offering less in closing cost assistance, but the more we thought about it, we decided against it.

Our home is totally first time home buyer material. It is just over 1000 square feet with 3 bedrooms and one bath. It is a sweet house because we have done a ton of upgrades. So, in thinking about the offer I realized something - this is a first time home buyer (who we happen to know is doing 100% financing) who is probably in the same boat we were in back when we were buying our first home. They probably don't have closing cost money on hand. In this market, a full price offer is not normal. So, I think they made the full price offer so they could ask for more in closing. We are going to accept the offer as well as offer a one year home warranty. We are so excited to be able to accept their offer AND give them more.

We also found something we like. It is a 3 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath townhome. It has way more space then we have here. But it is definitely a townhome, which is a little hard to accept after living in a single family home. We drove by it really late tonight and we were happy with what we saw after dark. We actually looked at this townhome about 5 weeks ago, but dismissed it at the time because we were hoping to find something in the "coveted area." Last night we saw that it was still available and decided to take another look. About 6 weeks ago a deal fell through on this place just before closing, so the seller is desperate. They are asking $17000 below what it appraised at and they are also offering $5000 in closing cost assistance. Unless God tells us no before morning, we will write up on offer on it tomorrow.

So, that's where things stand. I'll let you know how it all ends up. Quite possibly we could be moving in a month. Wow!!

House Update

Chuck and I have really debated the idea of pulling our house off the market as we go through stressful times with the adoption and the church plant. There have been a few times now where we say, "Okay, now is not the time to be doing this. Besides, no one is even looking at it." Twice now the phone has rang and there are people interested in our house. Last week it was someone coming back for a second look. Usually that's a really good sign. It wasn't for us. Then, this weekend we started talking about it again and Ed called to say someone wanted to look at it yesterday. Then, this morning we were out looking at some houses with Ed and his phone rang. It was the realtor who was with his client at our house yesterday and it sounds like they will be writing up an offer. We'll see how that goes. We'll keep looking at houses, too, because we haven't found one yet.

Anyway, that's the scoop.

Okay, I'm Better Now...

I figured out why I was a crying mess yesterday. PMS. Yup, that was it. I am better now. I sometimes forget the power of hormones!

I want to thank everyone for the comments. They are such a blessing to me. I can't tell you how much it means to know that there are people praying for our adoption and for us when we are down.

Today during worship I sat. I rarely do that, but I needed to cry and be with God. So I did. I've heard somewhere that you should envision the things you want in life as coming true. So I did. I envisioned walking down the corridor at the airport with our boys. I'm believing God that's going to happen one day. I have their homecoming outfits all picked out and I decided that I'd like us all to somehow match. So I envisioned that, too. And I layed it all at God's throne this morning during worship. I told him my heart's desire. I'm trusting Him that it's going to happen.

So again, thanks everyone for your love. Love, Juli

I Hate To Cry

I don't like to cry. I fight it. Hard. But, eventually I have to let the tears fall.

I wish I knew what triggers my tears. Tonight was a semi-normal night. I went to a get together of ladies who are all old friends. We used to all be in a Gel Group (what our church calls small groups) together. We did life together for a period of time and now we've all moved in other directions. Tonight we gathered together and had a potluck meal together. It was fun. I brought pictures of the boys, and of course had to explain why they are still not home. A lot of people who haven't seen me and Chuck in a while assume the boys are home by now. This makes me sad because it means that they think our kids are home and we didn't tell them. Many of them are people who we will totally tell when we get the call to come and get the boys, even if our relationship isn't as tight as it once was. So many people have had a big part in our adoption process over the last 22 months. Anyway, nothing super out of the normal happened, yet right now I sit here on the verge of tears. Why?

Because I miss my beautiful sons. Because I sometimes wonder if they will ever come home. Will the pictures become a bitter reminder of what could have been? And that is not because of a lack of faith. Having gone through a miscarriage taught me that our kids belong to God and He loans them to us. He gives and takes away (but blessed be His name).

Okay, the tears have made it beyond my eyelashes now. I guess it's time for a good cry.

Our adoption paperwork is STILL stuck. There were files released this week from where they are stuck, but ours weren't among them. More tears.

I am weary tonight. This too shall pass. Thank God.

Welcome Home Wendy

Tonight was a really special night.

We belong to an adoption ministry support group and we have truly come to love all the other families. Many have adopted, many are in the process of adopting, many plan to adopt, and some are just there to support us all. It's an awesome bunch of people. We get together once a month for fellowship and prayer. My favorite thing that we do, though, is that we gather at the airport when an adoptive child comes home. It is always full of joy.

Tonight was the West's turn. They brought home their beautiful daughter, Wendy from Guatemala. It was so special to be there celebrating her homecoming.

On my way to the airport I was struggling. Wendy is the 5th child to come home this year from our group. She is number 3 out of 5 that took FAR LESS time than how long we've waited to bring home our boys.

As I was driving to the airport I was really trying to suck it up. I wanted to be happy for the West's, and I was and still am, but there was this tug in my chest and the thought, "When is it our turn, Lord?" I finally asked Him. I felt bad doing it. His timing is perfect. He's got it all planned. But we've waited a really long time and there's not really any light at the end of our tunnel right now. And after I asked it, I just kept saying, "I want it to be our turn, Lord. I want it to be our turn, Lord." Over and over again. I told Him the desire of my heart.

Eventually I turned the radio on. It was on the Christian radio station and it was nearly the end of the song. I was close to the airport and I asked God to really use the next song on the radio to speak to my heart. Here's the song that came on. I've never heard it before.

Steven Curtis Chapman - Miracle Of The Moment
From the album "The Moment"

It’s time for letting go
All of our if only’s
‘Cause we don’t have a time machine

And even if we did
Would we really want to use it?
Would we really want to go change everything?

‘Cause we are who and where and what we are for now
And this is the only moment we can do anything about

Chorus:
So breathe it in and breathe it out
Listen to your heartbeat
There’s a wonder in the here and now
It’s right there in front of you
And I don’t want you to miss
The miracle of the moment

There's only One who knows
What’s really out there waiting
In all the moments yet to be
And all we need to know
Is He’s out there waiting
To Him the future’s history

And He has given us a treasure called right now
And this is the only moment we can do anything about

So breathe it in and breathe it out
Listen to your heartbeat
There’s a wonder in the here and now
It’s right there in front of you
And I don’t want you to miss
The miracle of the moment

And if it brings you tears
Then taste them as they fall
And let them soften your heart

And if it brings you laughter
Then throw your head back
And let it go, let it go
You gotta let it go

And listen to your heartbeat
And breathe it in and breathe it out
And listen to your heartbeat
There’s a wonder in the here and now
It’s right there in front of you
And I don’t want you to miss
The miracle of the moment

This was the first time I heard this song. I was shocked at how clearly God answered my prayer. He told me to not miss out on the miracle of the moment. The miracle tonight is that there is another orphan who now has a family. That IS a miracle. And I didn't miss it. I wasn't sucked into self pity. I didn't miss the joy. I'm so thankful God spoke to me so clearly.

I've been questioning some steps I've taken recently in our adoption process. The first lines in the song truly spoke to that. I can't change it. There is no "if only." The song goes on to remind me that God knows the future and it's history to Him. HE KNOWS when our boys will come home. Like the song mentions, I cried tonight. I laughed tonight. And most importantly - I didn't miss the miracle of the moment.

Our moment is coming.

Oh, and in case you didn't know? Steven Curtis Chapman is a huge advocate of adoption. His family has adopted and he has an organization called Shaohannah's Hope that has been established to care for orphans by engaging the church and helping Christian families reduce the financial barriers to adoption.

So yeah, once again God knew exactly how to speak to me in a way that would touch me deeply. He is so good, so faithful, so awesome.

Bigger

Chuck and I are very blessed to be a part of a church that encourages creativity. Our church uses humor, videos, movies, pop culture, games, and secular music to reach out to people far from God. Our church also uses original music, written by our worship pastor. When we first started attending Forefront Church (www.forefront.org), I hated the music. Not because it wasn't good, but because I didn't know any of it. Since then I have totally come to love it. So many of the songs have ministered to me right where I was at in the last 5 years. Yesterday morning I was listening to the song, "Bigger" and I realized that it would be fun to blog about these songs. So, maybe you'll love it or maybe you'll be like me and hate it, but either way - the lyrics are awesome and sure to touch your heart. Here are the lyrics to "Bigger." To find this CD online, go to: http://cdbaby.com/cd/forefrontworship.

Bigger
by Joe Heilman

Picture me playing my part
Picture you calling out my heart
What if this story has no point without You?
What if this story has no joy without You?

Come now, come down,
And wrap me up in bigger plans
Come by here, come near
And hold me tight with stonger hands

Picture me anywhere but here
Picture You meeting me there
What if this story got swallowed up in You?
What if this story got tangled up in You?

Come now, come down,
And wrap me up in bigger plans
Come by here, come near
And hold me tight with stonger hands

The beginning of the song kind of reminds me of where I was at just before inviting Jesus into my life. What would a life following Jesus look like? Would I turn into some dorky Christian? I didn't know. But, I was at a place where I didn't understand the meaning of it all. Why was I here? What was the point? Where was the joy?

The chorus, to me, is an invitation to God. I remember the day I sang the song as a personal invitation to God. We had recently miscarried. God was calling us to adoption. He was also calling Chuck into ministry. How could that be? We are broken people, no different from most of the world. Why would God call us? As I began to understand that it wasn't about who I am - that it's about who I am in Christ - I got to a place where I could invite God to wrap me up in bigger plans. Not grandiose plans. His plans for my life, which are definitely bigger than the plans I have.

The second stanza reminds me of my escapism. When the world around me seems overwhelming I do picture myself anywhere but here. In fact, I often picture myself on the roof of the mission in Seguin, Haiti with the sun rising, the cows mooing, and the sheep baahing. And God does meet me there. He meets me here, too. The lines about my story getting swallowed up and tangled up in God reminds me of how God meets us where we are at and completely changes our life. When I think of the drunk girl on the road to nowhere that I was 10 years ago, I know for sure that my story has gotten completely swallowed up and tangled up in God. Who I am in Christ is so far from who I was on my own. God has been so good and merciful to me. He has indeed wrapped me up in bigger plans. He does come by here and He STAYS near.

A Note About the Clothes

My mom and my sisters have made it their personal mission in life to keep our boys well dressed. I've seriously only bought a few outfits for them. My family has spent a fortune on clothes (yes, mostly on sale, but still...). Anyway, I say all that to remind you that my luggage didn't make it to Haiti until 15 minutes before I returned the boys to the orphanage. That is why they aren't looking as snazzily dressed as normal. Someone gave me two tank tops and another person gave me the outfits you see them wearing in most of the pictures. That was all I had in the way of clothing for them. We survived, but I hope I never experience that again!

Happier Things - Pictures!!

Samuel had a fever, so they wrapped a wet cloth

around his head. I had to get a picture of it!

Samuel, caught off guard. So innocent!

Noah posing for a picture, but forgetting to smile.

Samuel's now famous, "Whatchu talkin' bout Willis?" look.

There ya go, Noah! Pose and smile for the picture!

Okay, getting both kids in the same picture AND

looking at the camera is a big deal. Too bad they didn't smile.

Noah striking a pose.

Okay, both boys in the same picture, looking at

the camera AND smiling. Way to go Mom!

Noah having some fun!

Samuel looking like he wants to say, "I know

what you're up to."

Samuel sleeping.

The boys belly to belly. Do you see how big

those bellies are?? That is not a good thing.

Their bellies did go down some while I had them.

No Recommendations

I'm under the impression that most people who read this blog know me. However, since I can't know for sure, I feel it necessary to post this.

I can make no recommendations for good orphanages in Haiti. Well, actually I would totally recommend God's Littlest Angels if you are okay with not being able to visit your children. Other than that, I have no experience with other orphanages other than the one my boys are in and I DO NOT recommend it.

I've really battled with whether I should post this or not, but if you have read my whole blog you have heard me sing praises about the orphanage my boys are in. Now I weep tears over it.

I don't know if I've ever mentioned the name of our orphanage on this blog, and I'm not willing to go back and search through the posts to find out. I've always tried to keep where the boys are kind of vague because I don't trust the intentions of all people on the worldwide web. If you are reading this and you are someone at the beginning stages of a Haitian adoption, I am more than willing to email privately with you and disclose the name of the orphanage. I will not post it publicly; although I'd like to.

For those of you who know me, I can't post details, but our adoption process and our boys could use some serious prayers. Chuck and I could use prayers for God's perfect leading and guidance.

Thanks everyone.

My Trip to Haiti

I was in Haiti last week, Monday through Friday. I went down with a group from our orphanage. It was a really quick trip. I didn't get into Haiti until late afternoon on Monday and left first thing Friday morning.

It was a challenging trip for me because I didn't get my luggage until Thursday afternoon. It just so happened that I had packed my clothing and four baby toys in my carry on bag. I had NOTHING for the boys. No diapers, no clothing, no meds, nothing. It was tough, but it was a huge lesson in how God provides. The people on my team really rallied around me and shared their resources. It was so completely humbling. I was given diapers, wipes, medicine, clothing, and even a sippy cup. God truly does provide. I have had dreams where I go to Haiti last minute and forget to pack, so the luggage thing was truly a nightmare come true. I'm an ultra-prepared person. I'm the one you come to for Motrin when you have a headache. Chuck makes fun of me because I usually leave the house with at least one bag in tow. But I survived and I'm alive to blog about it!

The boys are great. They were delivered to the hotel after dark on Monday night. They were a little dazed and confused when they arrived, probably because they had been asleep. They both had a nasty cough and runny noses. We had dinner and went to bed.

This first night was rough. My roommate, Courtney, and her two girls and me and the boys were in a really small room. We had a full size bed. We were able to get a twin mattress as well. So, me and the boys slept on the mattress on the floor and Courtney and her girls slept on the bed. We were totally cramped. I didn't sleep much because I was hearing every little noise.

Tuesday we spent the day at the orphanage. I spent a lot of time holding and playing with babies. After a late lunch we went back to the hotel. Courtney and the girls went swimming and the boys and I rested in the hotel room. Noah napped, but Samuel never went to sleep. He did lay quietly next to his brother and rest, but never fell asleep. We had dinner with the group that night - the boys and I shared Creole Chicken. We ended up sharing the same fork, which is probably why I've been sick. The boys coughed a lot that night. Luckily Courtney had medicine. It was not a very restful night for me.

Wednesday we were planning to stay at the hotel and just hang out with our kids. However, when I woke up I knew the boys needed medicine that we didn't have. At breakfast it was suggested that I go with the work team to the orphanage so that the boys could be looked at by the nurse. I went to the orphanage with 3 guys from our team and the boys got medicine. Much to our surprise, the boys' birth father was there at the orphanage. We were able to visit with him for quite some time with a translator. It was really nice. He held Samuel for most of the time. Noah won't let him hold him. He's been that way the last two times we saw their birth father. He cries if we try to hand him over. It must be so hard for the boys' birth father, but I'm glad he sees that Noah desires to be held by me. I hope that gives him peace about putting the boys up for adoption. After our visit I returned to the hotel and we hung out in our room the rest of the afternoon with Courtney and the girls. It was a nice, relaxing time. The boys took a good long nap. Courtney and I got to chat a lot. She's an amazing person. She has 7 kids and is adopting two more. And she's younger than me!! I was so blessed to have her as my roommate. She was such an encouragement to me. We had dinner that evening with the group and then headed back to our room. After our kids were asleep we took turns going to check email.

Thursday was an excursion day to Fort Jacques and the Baptist Mission. I wasn't planning to go, but at breakfast I was encouraged to go. Someone lent me a stroller and another person offered me a sling. I was so glad I went. I love to get out and see Haiti while I'm there. It was challenging getting around with the boys at Fort Jacques, but I had people helping me. We enjoyed having lunch at the Baptist Mission, but I didn't shop. There were just too many breakables and I wasn't comfortable walking around with the boys. We drove back to the hotel and learned that my luggage was finally available. Someone went to get it and I cheered when they rolled the bags to my room. I had just enough time to sort donations and gifts for peoples' kids before we headed back to the orphanage to return our children.

As we drove down the bumpy road to the orphanage I held the boys close and thought of the irony of the drive. When I get to Haiti I can't get to the orphanage fast enough. But when it's time to leave, the drive there couldn't be long enough. We got to the orphanage and had a little over an hour to spend with our kids. It was just Courtney and I, as the rest of the team was leaving the day after us. I delivered my donations to the office and gave gifts to some kids from their parents and got pictures. Then I spent time with my boys. Samuel was running a fever so they gave him some medicine and wrapped a wet cloth aroung his head. He looked so funny! I hung out with the boys on a couch and then fed them before it was time to go. I hadn't finished feeding them when it was time to go, so I brough their food to the nannies. They finished feeding Noah before I left, so I had to actually place him in a nannies arms. He screamed and cried for me. It was horrible. Samuel was eating, so he was distracted and didn't realize I was leaving. Oh, how I hate to leave them there. It is gut-wrenching. No mom should have to do that repeatedly. That's the fourth time I've had to say goodbye. It gets harder, not easier. Courtney and I cried and held each other on the way back to the hotel. We got to our room and quietly began packing. We knew it was time to go up to dinner, but we weren't ready to face the other families who still had their children. Finally they called us to tell us our dinner was getting cold and we went up to dinner. I couldn't eat. And if you know me, you know that's not usually a problem for me. Courtney and I shared our testimonies with the group. I shared about how hard it is to leave the boys and how it gets harder each time I do it. I told them that I suspect God is breaking my heart each time because it's out of that utter brokenness that we are better able to do His work. I guess I needed a lot of breaking. We stayed up late that night, talking with others and catching up on email. We took advantage of not having our kids with us. Finally, at about 11 I returned to the room to finish packing and go to bed.

Friday morning we woke up bright and early and headed to the aiport. We got checked in with no problems and our flight was thankfully on time. Courtney and I said goodbye in Ft. Lauderdale, as she lives not far from there. I flew home later that day and my luggage made it.

On Thursday night I began to lose my voice. Friday morning I felt horrible, but God sustained me through the long day of travel and through a BBQ the next afternoon. After that I crashed. I have been pretty sick all week long, and I'm not 100% yet. Nights are the worst because that's when the coughing begins. I saw a Dr. on Tuesday and learned that this is just a nasty upper respiratory infection. I've never been sick for this many days in a row before. I finally got out of the house today, and that was nice.

I took a lot of pictures, and hopefully I will add some to the blog soon. I do have a Snapfish Album that I can share if you're interested. Just shoot me an email at ittybitties@msn.com for the link.

Sorry I'm So Quiet

Sorry I'm so quiet on here. I'm still really sick and I don't have much energy to do anything. I'll post again when I can.

Haiti Weather Update

I just heard that everyone is okay in Haiti! They really didn't get much rain or wind. That is incredible when you consider the size of the storm that passed just south of them. My mommy heart can rest now. Thank You, Lord, for sparing Haiti!

Jamaica is a different story...Hurricane Dean is passing a lot closer to that tiny island. Please keep Jamaica in your prayers.

Haiti Hurricane News

This is some information I just found on the web. I still haven't heard from our orphanage, but more than likely power is out.

Haiti was spared the brunt of Dean's force with no major flooding or mudslides and only a few homes damaged by winds as the storm's eye stayed well south of Hispaniola -- the island that includes Haiti and the Dominican Republic. (Posted 11:42 a.m.)

That is good news. I'll feel a whole lot better once I hear from our orphanage directly.

Thanks for your prayers.

Sick & Prayers for Haiti

Chuck and I are quite the pair this evening. We are pretty sick. I have an upper respiratory thing going on (I didn't know lungs could hurt...) and Chuck has the flu. Usually I just push myself when I'm sick, but I seriously can barely get out of bed.

In other news: Haiti is being hit by a strong hurricane right now. Please keep our boys and everyone we know and love in Haiti in prayer. I'll update the blog when I hear how the orphanage faired.

What A Week!

Wow, what a week I've had! I'll post about it when I can. Please, no questions in the comments. I promise to share when I'm able to. I am home and can be reached through email or on the phone if you just can't wait. Love, Juli

Stuck

I got some news about our adoption this morning. Yesterday I emailed our Director and Adoption Coordinator asking for an explanation of why our paperwork hasn't moved on to the next step. I wasn't doing so in an accusatory manner, rather I just needed to understand what was happening and why we weren't moving on.

I learned that our dossier (adoption paperwork) is stuck. We have all the proper approval, but for some reason it's stuck with other dossiers waiting for approval in the Parquet office. Our Director spoke with a Parquet attorney about our dossier and explained that we already have approval.

Please join us in praying that it will be released next week. We have some very expensive immigration paperwork that expires next month and we really don't want to have to refile it. Plus our boys just need to come home. It's been long enough. Too long.

No News

I've had a lot of questions about the showings on Wednesday, so I thought I'd give an update. We haven't heard anything. Our agent is out of town this week, but he is available by phone (he scheduled our Wednesday showings while out of town). I'm thinking he'd know it and call us if someone made an offer. But maybe I'm wrong. We know that the first showing happened because they got here 15 minutes early; just as we were walking out the door. The cool thing about them is that they had a baby with them. The boys' room is painted like a nursery and it breaks Chuck's heart that all the blood, sweat, and tears that he put into it might be wasted. He really wants a family with a baby to move in.

We have a few "maybe" houses that we may look at on Sunday. We were looking all over the "desired city," but now we've decided there are only a few areas we want to be in that city. It all has to do with major waterways. Traffic around here is awful, mainly because of all the draw bridges and tunnels (and the fact that this is an overpoplulated area). We've decided that we want to be on the other side of the major waterways than we currently are. That really limits where we can live in that city and we must be within that city. We've also altered our house criteria. We went from at least 3 bedrooms, 1.5 baths to 3 bedrooms 1 bath IF AND ONLY IF the home is at least 1200 sq ft and has the potential to add at least a 1/2 bath (see, I'm not asking for a great big house). If I've learned anything living in our current house for the last 3 years it's that 2 toilets are far better than one. I've also learned that houses and appliances break and you better be prepared for that, but the two toilet thing is a big deal to me. We have friends who have 3.5 baths in their great big condo and I always get bathroom envy while I'm there. It's not the 3 stories or the great loft or the big screen tv that causes me to sin, it's the bathrooms that drive my envy.

So, that's what's new in the house department. I won't blog again until I have news either on the house situation or the adoption.

More Good News

We have another showing between 7 & 7:30. Yippee! We are working on dessert with friends later or at a restaurant. I guess God had other plans when I decided today isn't a good day for showings!

Bad News, Good News

The bad news is that last night Chuck noticed that the rug in front of the dishwasher was soaked. Not good. Luckily it wasn't the dishwasher. It was the refrigerator. Not good. On Friday we had the ice maker repaired. When I pushed the fridge back in place I had a thought about the water line and wondered if I could hurt it when pushing the fridge in. We learned last night that, yes, you can hurt the water line. I guess I put a very small hole in it. So, for 4 1/2 days there has been water leaking under the fridge and dishwasher. We don't know the extent of the damage because Chuck hasn't been under the house yet. We are praying it's not serious. Replacing the floor in that area isn't something we really want to have to do.

This morning I woke up thinking that today would not be a good day to show the house. The rug is all pulled up (it's an 8 x 10 rug) in front of the dishwasher so that it can dry out. We have company coming over at 7 for dessert, and it's going to be a killer hot day and our house doesn't stay super cool on killer hot days because the air conditioner is made for a slightly smaller house (we are 1080 sq ft and it's made for 1000).

The good news is that I had to laugh when our real estate agent called this morning to tell me that someone wants to look at the house this evening! The rug can dry out and be put back by then, dessert will be pushed back to accomodate the showing at 6:40, and I'm praying that the air conditioner keeps up. I shaded it with our patio table umbrella, which helps.

If you think of us between 6:30 and 7 tonight, please pray for God's will in the showing of our home. This is the first one, and the market has slowed around here, so it would be a total blessing if this is the person to buy it.

Adoption Update

Well, the update is...that there is no update. I used the title to lure you in so I can ask you to pray. I know; I have no pride. But it worked, didn't it?

We've been waiting over 5 weeks now for someone to finish "reviewing" our file before it can be submitted for 2nd Legalization. I'm having one of those days where I'm on the verge of tears. I'm pretty adoption weary today. My heart aches to hold my boys in my arms in this country. We have had to wait longer than projected in almost all the steps of our adoption. And the place that our file sits isn't even technically a step. I know, I'm whining and I'm sorry. I'm just having a hard time choking it down today. My prayer has been that our paperwork has been submitted to 2nd Legalization and that they just forgot to tell me.

If you have a few minutes, please pray for our adoption process.

Thanks.

It's Gone

The house, that is. Not ours, but the one we fell in love with. Wednesday morning I gave it to God and last night the owners confirmed that they accepted another contract. Bummer! My heart is a little broken over it. But, as Chuck reminded me, God has never let us down. I don't know how He's going to do it, but I believe He's got something better planned for us. I would just like to know what it is. Now. :)

Now on to other news. Tomorrow we are going to the outlet mall to hopefully get Chuck a pair of Vans. He's been out of the Coast Guard a few months and has pretty much exclusively worn sandals. His feet are killing him. We tossed around the idea of getting him some tennis shoes, but he looks weird in tennis shoes. It's really awkward to look at. We've tried. So, after much thought and prayer, Chuck has determined that Vans are the shoes for him. We are hoping for mad sales.

No one has looked at our house yet. That bums me out a bit. But, tomorrow is Saturday so maybe some people will look this weekend. We've been looking at houses online. We found one that we really like, but it's a condo and we aren't down with condo fees. There are about 6 houses we'd like to look at, but none of them are really screaming, "I'm the one!" Maybe the house God has for us isn't for sale yet.

For Sale

Well, the house is officially for sale; the sign is in the yard. My house has never been more clean! I'm still working on getting the closets super organized and I have a list of other small things to do, but for the most part we are done!

I'm beginning to think that the house we are interested in is no longer available. I called the owner last night and emailed today and have had no response. I'd be lying if I said I'm not disappointed. But, I do have a good attitude about it for two reasons. 1) Maybe that house was the thing that got us moving. Well, it was. I would have never worked so hard to get our house ready to sell if I didn't have something dangling in front of my face. I am lazy at my core, so that house got me moving. I can liken this to our adoption. If you've ever read our super long adoption story (look at me hyperlinking like a pro!), you've read about Jabez. Jabez is the reason we began to pursue adoption. We had talked about adoption, but then I met Jabez, and then that talking turned into movement. Initially we were trying to adopt him. So, he led us to our boys. He was the thing that got us moving. 2) God always gives me so much better or more than what I want. Always. Take our adoption for example. We wanted a baby. God gave us two. This pattern has repeated itself over and over again in my life. God is just like that. My thinking tells me that I must have this one particular house, that it is perfect. But God has something better for us if this is not the one. And better than perfect would be awesome!

So now we wait and pray. In the words of a dear old lady who is very close to entering Heaven, "Thy will, not mine, be done. Amen."