Tristan's Birth

Being pregnant and overdue is no fun. Being pregnant and overdue and knowing that you need to have your baby in order to pick up your adopted kids is just awful. That's where we were at on August 13th.

We got the news late that evening that our boys were finally ready to come home. We were ecstatic. I had always dreamed of getting that news and then quickly calling American Airlines to book our flights. Well, we couldn't book our flights because we needed to have the baby first and make sure he and I were both healthy and able to travel.

So, when we went to the doctor on Thursday, 8/14, and learned that our choices were to be induced on Friday with our favorite doctor or on Monday with one of the other doctors, it was an easy decision. We had fought induction for 3 weeks by then. At 38 weeks I was told we were having a large baby and induction was recommended. At 39 weeks we again stated that we didn't want to induce. At 40 weeks we knew that induction was looming in the future as our doctors don't allow you to go beyond 42 weeks. At two days shy of 41 weeks, knowing that our twins were nearly ready to come home, the doctor again asked if we wanted to induce. We decided to pray about it, but didn't feel like it was time yet. When we went back to the doctor a few days later on 8/14 we were finally ready to submit to induction.

My doctor had me admitted to the hosptial the night before to prepare my cervix for induction the next morning. They did a drug-free procedure that got my cervix dilated to 4 cm by morning.

I need to take a break from the story to explain my desires for this birth. But first, I need to go back a long time in history to when my sister was born. I was nearly three and when I learned how babies were born I was completely freaked out. I remember a book and there was a picture with a woman's legs in stirrups with sheets draped over them. From that point on I was terrified of childbirth and vowed that I wouldn't have kids. In addition to that, my mother shared the story of my birth, which was quite traumatic for her because I was born butt first. Needless to say, she had a rough delivery.

3 1/2 years ago I was pregnant. Chuck and I were thrilled. I immediately went out and bought "What to Expect When Expecting." I read it all the time. I was still very freaked out about vaginal birth and was of the mindset that a c-section didn't sound so bad. I remember reading one night about episiotomies and I threw the book across the room. I was that scared.

That pregnancy ended in miscarriage, and it was through the pain and processing of the miscarriage that God spoke to me about adoption. While it was a terribly painful time in my life, I'm very grateful I went through it. I know the pain of miscarriage and I can minister to those who go through it. I also know that I wouldn't be bringing home two very handsome Haitian boys next week if it weren't for that loss.

In late November I was finally pregnant again. We were so excited, but cautious. The first trimester was miserable. I had morning sickness that lasted all. day. long. I took comfort in the sickness, though, since I hadn't experienced that with the first pregnancy. I was still quite scared of childbirth, but had met some people along the way who really believed in the benefits of natural childbirth (without drugs). I had heard them out and found myself interested in learning more. As I did my research, my mindset completely changed and I found myself desiring to deliver my baby without drugs of any sort.

Now that is crazy. I'm a wimp. I cry hard if I stub my toe. I might even swear. But, I really wanted to give my baby the best start in life and I rested in the idea that God created my body to birth children and that with His help, I could deliver my baby without drugs. I did have two concerns, though. I knew that if I had to be induced or if I ended up with back labor, I may not be able to tolerate the pain.

As I did my research on drugs during childbirth, I also studied the use of pitocin, which is used to induce labor. Most people I know who had a pitocin induced labor have a horror story birth story. Many ended up laboring long hours, only to deliver by c-section. There are studies trying to link the use of pitocin to autism. Chuck and I watched a documentary called "The Business of Being Born" and learned a lot about the way childbirth is approached in our country.

So, after all of my research and prayer, Chuck and I decided that I would try to deliver the baby without the use of any drugs. We agreed that we would only induce if necessary. We were of one mind regarding this, and we caught a lot of flack from others. It was really hard to have people in our life give us a hard time about this choice. I really thought people would be happy that we wanted to give our son the best possible start in life. Instead many teased and told us that we couldn't do it. I prayed so much about all of this. I was hurt and really found comfort in God alone. It is to His glory that I even confronted my fears of childbirth and made the decision to trust Him. When I think about the utter fear that used to grip me when thinking of childbirth, I know that God was at work in my heart.

Okay, back to the birth story. We arrived at the hospital at 4:00 on Thursday 8/14. By 4:30 they had me hooked up to monitors, and to my surprise I was having contractions. I had prayed that I'd go into labor on my own, and that seemed to be happening. The contractions weren't painful at first, but they were consistent. By 5:30 my cervix had been prepped. Chuck went out and got us some dinner and my mom hung out with us until it got dark outside. My contractions got stronger, and I was sure I wouldn't be sleeping that evening. The doctor recommended that I take an ambien so that I could sleep as the following day could be a long one. I resisted the ambien, expecting to not be able to sleep through the pain of the contractions, but the nurse assured me that it would help me sleep. She was right.

At 6:00 a.m. the following morning they started the pitocin. My contractions had slowed during the night, to my dismay. Every 15 minutes or so they would come in and up the pitocin. It wasn't too bad at first, but that changed quickly. I had to stay on the fetal monitor, so I couldn't get up and walk around, which was something I knew would be important in managing my pain. I was able to sit on the birthing ball, and that was helpful, though not enough. By 8:20 my contractions were every 2-3 minutes, with some just a minute apart. The nurse had checked me and I was dilated to a 5/6, which was disappointing to me. I had really thought I'd be farther along since I was experiencing such tremendous pain. There seemed to be a band of scar tissue on my cervix and the nurse suspected that once it broke I'd begin to dilate quickly. The pain was so intense. I had a list of affirmations that I tried to say in my mind with every contraction, but soon found that counting my breaths better helped me to get through the contractions. I knew that once I hit 10 the contraction would be nearly over, if not over. The pain got so intense that I would come out of each contraction shaking violently. I told Chuck a few times, "I can't do this." His response each time was, "Yes you can. You are strong." At one point he tried reading some of the affirmations to me and I said, "I don't want to hear that crap." That was the meanest I got. A little while later he asked if I wanted to take some meds to take the edge off. I knew that I would rather get an epidural than introduce narcotic pain meds into my system. I was afraid I'd have a doped up baby that was unable to breastfeed. I told Chuck I wanted to get the epidural, probably at around 8:35. Chuck immediately called the nurse and she said it wouldn't be long. I remember looking at the clock at 8:45, wondering where the heck the anestesiologist was. He arrived shortly after.

Chuck had to leave the room while I got the epidural. It took the doctor two painful tries. He said I had a deep space and that was why it was painful. But, once it was in place and turned on, it was wonderful. I know that the epidural is only supposed to numb the body from the belly down, but I swear mine made me a little loopy. I was immediately calm and it was such a relief to feel calm.

Not too long after the epidural was put in place, the baby's heart rate dropped. The nurse put me on my side and tried moving the baby to get his heart rate back up. I was so thankful I had the epidural as she tried moving him around. I'm really not sure if it was the epidural or the knot in the umbilical cord (that we didn't know about until he was delivered) that caused the heart rate to drop. I just know that the nurse was very serious, though not so much so that she scared me. Chuck was not in the room when it happened, thankfully, because I know he would have been terrified. My pitocin was stopped during all of this and then slowly restarted.

At around noon the nurse checked me again and I was still at 6 cm. When I learned that I was so thankful I had gotten the epidural. I would have been so frustrated if I had labored another 3 hours, only to make no progress. She put in a call to my doctor asking her to come and "break apart" the scar tissue.

At around 2:00 we had heartrate problems again. The nurse was able to adjust me and the baby so that the heartrate stabilized. She checked me and I learned that I was at 7/8 cm and the scar tissue had resolved by itself. She suspected that when the scar tissue broke apart that it had an effect on the baby. I'm not sure how or why that would occur; I think it had to do with the cord problem.

The doctor arrived shorty after and I was at 8/9 cm. She didn't think it would be long before I would be pushing. They were right - once the scar tissue was broken, my cervix dilated quickly.

All this time, I was lying on my right side, trying to keep the baby happy. I was also on oxygen and had been since the first time we had heartrate problems.

At 3:30 the doctor checked me again and said I was just about ready to start pushing. They brought in a big cart and I expected bright lights, lots of people, and for my bed to be broken down. None of that happened. It was the doctor, the labor and delivery nurse, Chuck, and me. The doctor sat on the side of my bed and I was positioned to push. We tried it on my back first and the baby's heartrate didn't tolerate that. We tried pushing on my side, again, the heartrate wasn't good. They put in an internal fetal monitor, hoping to get a better reading. The heartrate was still not good when pushing. They decided to replace the internal fetal monitor because they didn't like the way it was reading. Yet still, with each push, the babies heart rate would go from about 150 to 50 or 60. To make matters worse, it would take about a minute for the baby to recover. The doctor asked me to get on all fours and stay like that awhile in hopes that the baby would move and that his heartrate would stabilize. I was really embarrased by that position, but they were very kind and kept me covered. We also tried pushing in that position and the baby's heartrate was still dipping. We tried one last time on my back and got the same results. At that point the doctor told us she wanted to do a c-section. She explained that if I only had about 15 minutes of pushing ahead of me that she would try to deliver the baby vaginally. However, she suspected that I'd be pushing for about and hour and a half and she didn't believe the baby would handle it well - as in long term damage from lack of oxygen. She was very compassionate and told us that she had wanted to do everything possible to deliver the baby vaginally because she knew we had an upcoming trip to Haiti to get the boys, but that more so she wanted us to have a healthy baby. I listened and nodded my head. She left the room and I began to sob.

Things began to move really fast after that. I was experiencing very painful contractions, I'm guessing because they turned my epidural off for pushing. I was an emotional mess, still crying over the need for the c-section. I remember feeling strongly like I needed to get up and go somewhere, like to the restroom or for a walk or home. At one point I told Chuck we needed to get out of there. I think I was just responding poorly to the complete lack of control I had in the situation. A number of people were in and out of the room. I drank some awful tasting stuff, was given a shot to stop my contractions, and the anestisiology team was in and out preparing my epidural for surgery. Soon enough I was being wheeled down to the OR. I remember laying on my back, which hurt a lot. I remember wondering how I was going to tolerate laying on my back through surgery because it hurt so bad.

When we got into the OR they quickly moved me to another bed. I began to shake violently at that point. I've seen a number of friends shake violently after giving birth, but I did so before. The doctor began asking me if I could feel certain things. Each time she got to the right side of my belly I could feel a pinch. This went on for a while, but I kept feeling the pinch. There was talk of doing a spinal, and honestly I'm not sure why they chose not to do one - maybe because of my violent shaking. Eventually they began the surgery and I felt things on the right side. I told them I could feel things and that it hurt. It was not pressure. It was pain. And it was horrible. Eventually Chuck was brought in and he held my right hand through the whole thing. I can't imagine what it must have been like for him to have to sit there while I consistently told them I was in pain.

Most women I know who've had c-sections always say two things - that it happened very fast and that they felt no pain, only pressure. For me, it seemed to take an eternity. I was in so much pain and I kept waiting for them to do something to make it stop hurting. I guess they couldn't until the baby was out. Finally, I heard Tristan cry. He came out crying loudly and they showed him to me over the screen before taking him to the other side of the room to clean him up. It was then that we learned that he had a knot in his umbilical cord. He also had quite the conehead from sitting in my pelvis.

It seemed to take them forever to close me up. I was still in a lot of pain, though I know they were pumping me full of drugs. Chuck says I began to bleed a lot, so maybe that slowed things down. At this point I began begging them to make the pain stop. I just couldn't believe that I was still experiencing so much pain and that they couldn't make it stop. Chuck was holding Tristan and they were both crying. I was really disinterested in anything but getting the pain stopped. And that makes me cry. I really feel like I missed out on Tristan's birth and the beauty and joy of it because of the pain I was in. Most women have their babies and forget all the pain they've just experienced. Mine was delivered and then I was unable to be present because of the pain.

I've cried many tears over this, and I'm doing so right now. I talked to my doctor and I have an understanding of why things happened the way they did. I'm not posting this to point fingers in any direction. It is what it is. It's something I have to process through and turn over to God. I have prayed a lot about this, and I trust that God will bring me healing both physically and emotionally. If you choose to comment on this, I just ask that you not comment negatively about the medical care I received. I have come to a place of understanding of why things happened like they did. No, it was not ideal, but I made it through.

Once I was returned to my hospital room, I was given some toradol and that seemed to work to get my pain under control. I was afraid to hold Tristan before that because of the pain I was experiencing. It was pure joy when I was finally able to hold him and nurse him. We were able to keep Tristan for 2 hours after he was born before he was taken to the nursery. While he was in the nursery I was relocated to a post partum room. Later they brought Tristan in to me and he breastfed again. He latched right on with no problem. The nursery nurse who was there told me how very blessed I was to have that experience with breastfeeding. And we continue to be blessed in this department.

C-section recovery is definitely rough. The following morning I got up for the first time and I was really surprised by how very sore I was. I couldn't even stand up straight. I didn't change any of Tristan's diapers the first few days because I just didn't have enough range of motion to do so. Chuck was such a trooper. We chose to have Tristan with us all the time. Three times a day, at shift change, they would take Tristan back to the nursery to get his vitals. Other than those times, we kept him with us. I didn't get a lot of rest, but when I think back on those first few days of his life, I remember the quiet late nights nursing him and falling in complete love with him.

So, that's the story. Tristan has been home nearly two weeks now and we are just loving it. Yes, having a newborn is exhausting, but so awesome. God has trusted us with this awesome little guy and we are in love with him.

The Last Ones!

I can't tell you how happy I am that these pictures are the LAST monthly photo updates we will get of the boys. Tuesday morning they will be in our arms for good. I can't seem to wrap my mind around that. Wow.

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Samuel is on the top and Noah is on the bottom. I have been so worried about Samuel, and I'm glad he looks somewhat happy in this photo.

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Tomorrow we will get everything organized and packed for the trip. It is a little tricky since we are traveling with Tristan, too. We leave at 8 a.m. Monday morning and we'll spend all of Monday and Monday night in Miami. Then, first thing Tuesday morning, Chuck and I fly into Haiti while Terri and Tristan hang out in Miami.

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I ask for your prayers as we travel. We've never traveled with a newborn before, or toddlers for that matter. Please pray that all of us are prepared mentally, physically, and emotionally for this trip. Please pray especially for Noah and Samuel - for peace and comfort. I can't even begin to imagine what will go through their little heads.

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I feel amazingly calm (or is it exhaustion??) as we approach this trip. I am just in awe of God's timing in all of this and His perfect provision. When the doctor called the c-section I was so upset because I knew it would change so many things regarding our travel to Haiti and my ability to physically pick the boys up. I didn't even think about how the blessings could pour over us in this situation. So many friends have just rallied around us over the last few weeks. We have not had to cook a meal in quite some time and we have a freezer full of more meals. We have had so many offers of help extended our way (and don't worry - we will take you all up on them at some point!). There have been so many gifts for all three boys. We are so thankful for our friend, Terri, who is coming with us to care for Tristan. She is just an amazing person and we are honored to have her as a friend. If I've learned anything in the last few weeks, it's that God will take care of everything.

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I want to end this post with my most sincere thanks to so many people. Thank you to everyone who have left us comments in the last few weeks. Your excitement and encouragement mean so much to us. I thank all the people who have cooked us meals and brought us gifts. I thank all the seasoned moms who have talked to me about mom stuff. I thank Chuck for being such an awesome and involved Daddy and a wonderful husband. I thank God for loving us so much and touching our lives so beautifully through so many people. I am humbled.

Pray For Haiti

There is a hurricane approaching Haiti that should hit this afternoon. Please pray for the safety of the people there.

Some Overdue Cuteness

Our Flights Are Booked!!

Yes, that is right! Our flights are booked. Our boys will arrive here locally on Tuesday, September 2 at 9:20 p.m.

I can't believe we now have a date and time that they will be here!

Chuck, Tristan, our dear friend Terri, and I will all fly to Miami on September 1st. The following morning Chuck and I will fly to Haiti to pick up the boys while Terri and Tristan hang out at Miami International Airport. Then, once we get back from Haiti, we will all fly home together.

It's a dream come true! God is so good and faithful!

We belong to a great adoption support group that's made it a tradition to greet families at the airport when they come home. If you live here locally, you are welcome to join us there, too. If you want more detailed flight information for our arrival, please email me at julicason@yahoo.com.

Just a little while longer and our family will be complete!

We Are Home

We made it home this afternoon and we are getting settled in.

Tristan is doing great with breastfeeding. I feel so very blessed about that.

I'm still pretty sore, but on the mend. I've been told it will take a week to really start feeling better.

Tristan is asleep in his crib right now. Gosh, for months I've stared at that empty crib trying to picture my baby in it and he is here now. God is so good.

I'll try to post more pictures soon.

Random Thoughts This Morning

It's hard to get my thoughts gathered right now, so I'll just bullet list some things swimming in my head right now.

• I am LOVING being a mommy to this little guy.
• I was so looking forward to delivering Tristan so that I could get some mobility back. Um, that's not happening so far. C-sections make minor movements a challenge.
• I'm getting better just about every hour it seems.
• When I can do it without sobbing, I will blog about my birth experience.
• Sobbing makes might belly hurt bad. So does coughing.
• Percocet is my friend. So are vicodin and toradol, but percocet is my best c-section friend.
• The little pillow they gave me is also a good friend.
• Tristan is doing a great job with breastfeeding.
• Chuck is an awesome daddy. The nursery nurses couldn't get over how over the moon he was to be a daddy to this little one.
• Tristan is known as the loudest baby in the nursery - possibly ever. He's got good lungs and knows how to use them, however he isn't a "fussy" baby; just knows what he wants and doesn't like.
• Chuck was wonderful last night. He let me sleep for 2 1/2 straight hours when Tristan decided it was awake time after his 3 a.m. feeding.
• 2 1/2 hours is a long time to sleep. I never thought I'd say that. It was actually refreshing.

That's all for know. I'll share more as more happens and as my thoughts become more cohesive. Thank you, all, for you encouraging comments, love, and prayers over the last little while. It has meant so much to be so loved by you all.

Pictures!

Tristan is Here

I'm really sorry I didn't post this here sooner, but Tristan is finally here!Here's what I posted on our other blog: http://cason-adoption.blogspot.com/Hi Everyone, Tristan is here! He was born by c-section late this afternoon. The little guy managed to tie a knot in his umbilical cord, so when I pushed his heart rate would drop. That's why the c-section happened. Anyway, he's 8lbs, 9oz, 21 inches long. He is doing great and so am I. I know you want pictures, and I promise we will post some, but it may not be tonight. I know, such slackers we are. In the words of Chuck, "We are totally stoked!"

Tristan is Here!

Hi Everyone,

Tristan is here! He was born by c-section late this afternoon. The little guy managed to tie a knot in his umbilical cord, so when I pushed his heart rate would drop. That's why the c-section happened.

Anyway, he's 8lbs, 9oz, 21 inches long. He is doing great and so am I.

I know you want pictures, and I promise we will post some, but it may not be tonight. I know, such slackers we are.

In the words of Chuck, "We are totally stoked!"

A Little Something Else Going On...

Well, as some of you know, we have a little something else going on in our lives right now.

Now that our boys have their visas, we are comfortable sharing some other news:

We are expecting a baby!

8 days ago!!

That's right, I'm currently 8 days overdue with another son, Tristan Elliott.

In fact, I'm writing this post from the hospital. I came in this evening to be prepared for an induction in the morning, however I appear to be in labor on my own.

God's timing in this is hilarious and, truly, only He could have orchestrated it like this.

So, once we have this baby we will be able to complete our travel plans to go and get Noah and Samuel in Haiti.

We ask for your prayers for a safe delivery, and specifically that I don't need to have a c-section.

Of course we will update the blog when Tristan arrives.

Thanks for all the love, support, encouragement, and prayers!

At the Hospital

Well, I'm here at the hospital. We arrived to check in at 4:00. The doctor got things started at about 5:00 and at 6:00 a.m. tomorrow morning they will start the pitocin.By 4:30 they had me hooked up and guess what - I'm having contractions. What an answer to prayer. At first I didn't really notice them much, but I sure do now. They are about every 3-4 minutes and rather strong if you ask me.So, your prayers would be much appreciated. I keep hearing that this is a big baby. Please pray specifically that I don't need to have a c-section.Thanks!My next post should be introducing our baby!

Getting Induced

Well, we went to the Dr. The baby is still good. I had some contractions, but nothing major.Our options for induction (which we had to schedule) were to either go to the hospital tonight to be induced in the morning or go Sunday night for Monday morning. My favorite Dr. is on call this week through Sunday. My not favorite Dr. would be on call Monday. Easy choice. Especially since I'd be nearly 42 weeks on Monday.I'm not thrilled about this, but I am relieved that there is some light at the end of the neverending pregnancy tunnel.Please pray with us that this goes well. Please pray especially that I don't end up with a c-section.Thanks!

This Morning

In an hour I have another appointment with my Dr. They promised me a long time ago that once I hit 41 weeks we will have to talk about an induction. So, I'm expecting we will be asked to schedule an induction. I'm kind of ready to just get it over with, yet really bummed that I haven't gone into labor on my own. I'm armed with a zillion questions regarding how they do inductions (they gave me a handout on Monday explaining how they do them) and my own modified induction plan that I'm going to ask for.I'll post about how it goes when I get home.

THEY ARE READY TO COME HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We just got word that Noah and Samuel have visas and ARE READY TO COME HOME!!

Oh my gosh, I thought the day would never come.

Praise God!!!

We have some details to work out for travel. Please pray with us as we work on this.

OH MY GOSH!!

Another Good Night...

...of sleep that is.Still no baby.Will it ever end?

It Went Well!!

We finally got the email telling us things went well this morning! Visas should be printed tomorrow. Once they have the visas we will book our flights.

Please join us in praying for the printing of the visas. Anything can happen, this is Haiti afterall.

Thank God!!

Just a Little While Now

Well, in about an hour and a half our visa appointment should take place. I got an email late last night telling me that everything was in order for that appointment to happen. This is Haiti, though, so I'm praying that they make it to the appointment without any problems. Someone posted a comment on my last post stating that the visa printer is fixed, thank God! So that obstacle should be out of the way.

Our adoption coordinator told me she'd let me know as soon as she hears anything. Communication from Haiti isn't always good, so if I don't hear anything (or don't post), it doesn't necessarily mean things didn't go well, just that I haven't heard yet. I'm praying, of course, that I get word right away.

Okay, I'm off to spend some time with God. It's a beautiful day here - not even 70 yet and there's almost no humidity - this is a rare summer treat in Virginia and I plan to take full advantage of it on my screened porch.

Slept Like a Baby...

...so obviously the cramps didn't last or turn into contractions.I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever have this baby.I'm grumpy and frustrated. Not a good way to start the day.

Before Bed...

I'm having some strong cramping; hoping it turns into contractions. I'll update in the morning.Goodnight!

Appointment Update

Went to the Dr.More of the same.1 cm dilated. 70% effaced. Baby is still kind of high.I lost my mucus plug today.I go back on Thursday unless I go into labor or we want to induce sooner.Induction is beginning to look more enticing with our kids in Haiti being so close to coming home.Pray for us as we try to decide what to do.Thanks.

More of the Same

Sorry to excite anyone by forgetting to post last night, but I'm still very much pregnant.We go to the doctor at 2:15 today. Dear God, let us hear I've made some progress toward delivery!I'm sure we'll get the induction talk again. We are praying about how to handle that. Please pray that God would speak to us clearly about how to move forward.Thanks.

Tomorrow, Tomorrow...

...I love ya, tomorrow!

That's right - tomorrow is the boys' visa appointment. It's at 9 a.m. Haiti time, which is 10 a.m. our time (here on the east coast). Please join us in praying that the appointment goes well and that the visas are issued tomorrow.

I've heard from someone who was just in Haiti last week that the printer that prints the visas was broken and needed a part shipped in from the US. Please join me in praying that this has been resolved.

I, of course, will be on my toes all day tomorrow waiting for word from Haiti about the appointment.

More Nothing

Still no baby.

Nothing

Just an update - nothing has changed. No contractions. No baby yet. I'm just as bummed as you are.

Wednesday Update

I went to the Dr this morning. Here's what we learned:
The baby is lower, but still needs to descend more.
I'm now a full centimeter dilated. Woohoo! 1 down, 9 to go.
My cervix remains soft.
They monitored both me and the baby. The baby has a great heartrate and stayed nice and active as I ate peanut butter crackers and drank a coke. I had not. a. single. contraction. We need contractions, folks, if we are going to have a baby.
They want me to come back Monday.
It is my hope that we have this baby on Friday (well, I'd be okay with today or tomorrow, too!) because then he will have a very cool birthdate 8/8/08. If we have him tomorrow, that would be on my grandmother's birthday. The twins were born on Chuck's grandmother's birthday. That would be neat too. If he is born today, well, nothing special has happened in the past that I know of, but I'd be happy to have him today!

Please Pray for My Friend

Update:
Courtney and Asher went home yesterday. They were expecting Asher to spend 5-7 days in the NICU, but obviously God was at work. Thanks to everyone who prayed for my dear friend!

Courtney and her new baby, Asher, over at Storing Up Treasures in Heaven need your prayers. Asher was born by emergency c-section very early yesterday and is now in the NICU with breathing issues. Please stop for a moment and pray for his healing. Thanks!

Courtney is an adoption friend of mine. We spent a week together in Haiti last year. She is an incredible woman. In fact, her whole family is just great.

IT CAME!!!!

I woke up this morning and immediately checked my email. I was so bummed because the email was not there.

But, a half an hour later there was a new message in my inbox and it was THE EMAIL!!

Our visa appointment is next Tuesday at 9:00 a.m.

OH MY GOSH!!!! It is real. They are coming home!

In case you're wondering, we aren't going to travel until the visas are in hand.

Monday Update

I just spoke with someone in Haiti and we discussed a date for the visa appointment.

She is going to email me to confirm it, so I'm not going to jump up and down until I have that email, but folks - this could be it!!

Please join me in praying for that email confirmation.

God is good!

Late Update:
Well, it's after business hours in Haiti and I haven't received an email. Yes, I'm bummed, but not surprised. Adoption is a spiritual battle no doubt. I will keep my eyes focused on Jesus and look forward to what tomorrow brings. I will, of course, call Haiti by midday if I haven't received the email. Please keep praying. God hears us.

Update:
Well, it's three hours later and I haven't received the email. I'm still hopeful, though. Please continue praying with us that this appointment gets scheduled.

I forgot to mention earlier how the phone call took place. I was actually calling the Embassy to try to learn what time I'm allowed to call. They ended up putting me through to the right department. I couldn't believe it. I was really just trying to learn when I could call. When I hung up the phone I was just shocked that I had actually spoken to the person I needed to speak to and she was so very helpful.

I'll of course update when I get the email. Notice I said when, not if!

Monday - Prayers Please

Well, it's been a week of waiting to hear something through email, so today I will call Haiti. I did call already, and I've learned I need to call between 2:30 - 3:30 my time (I think. If someone reading knows for sure the hours I can call between, please leave me a comment.).

Please pray that I can get through and that I can get the ball rolling on scheduling our visa appointment.

I'll post how it goes this afternoon.

Thanks!

Friday's Appointment

Friday's appointment went well as far as the baby goes. His heartrate was great and he seems to be the correct position for delivery. My body, however, doesn't seem to be ready yet.I didn't dilate anymore, but my cervix did get softer.I expected to be bullied about induction, but I wasn't. The nurse practitioner said, "Your chart says you don't want to be induced until you're overdue." I said, "Yup, that's right." And she said, "Okay." End of any talk of induction. Yay.I go back on Wednesday, which is when I hit 40 weeks. They want to put me on the monitor for a while to check and see how the baby is doing. They will also check my cervix again.Please pray with me that my body will go into labor on it's own. I'm in excruciating pain when I walk around. Just getting up and moving around in my house is painful. We are also on "any day now" status with our adoption and it would be very helpful if this baby would come so we could be more focused on the homecoming of our twins in Haiti. Thanks.

Friday

Still nothing. God's timing is perfect, right? Patience is a virtue. So is persistence and that is what I am. At least I can take a break from madly checking my email...

Thursday

Nothing yet.

Wednesday

I didn't hear anything from Haiti today. Since we've exceeded three working days, I sent a new email as they directed me to do if I didn't get a response in three working days. We'll see what happens now. Prayers would be appreciated - thanks!

Is This What I'm In For??

I follow the blog of a family who has adopted twins from Haiti, which is what we are doing. Their boys are a year and a half older than our boys and they just had a new baby. The boys have been home for over 3 years, so their situation is very different from ours since all three of ours are coming at once. Today they posted the top ten unsupervised moments of their twins. If this is what I'm in for, I'm terrified! Prepare to laugh:http://johnson-mccormickfamily.blogspot.com/2008/07/top-ten-k-o-in-unsupervised-moments.htmlJust keep in mind that they've had THREE YEARS to work on schedules, routines, discipline, bonding, and attachment. More than likely the baby is coming just before we go to get our boys. If this is what I'm in for, I'm going to need you all to pray very hard for me!This, I think, is the closest thing I've had to a reality check about what life is going to be like. Wow.

Tuesday

I checked email a whole lot more today than yesterday. I didn't receive one from Haiti, though. That is okay. I learned tonight that the boys haven't had their medical appointments yet, so that still needs to be taken care of before visas can be issued. Pray with me that those appointments happen soon. I'm still resting in God's perfect timing of this. We have A LOT going on and He knows what is best.

Feeling a Little Better

I'm feeling a little better. The stuffiness and coughing aren't gone, but I feel like they have lessened. My sister in law emailed me and told me that if I have a fever I need to get on some antibiotics. I'm happy to report that I have no fever. I'm not happy to report that my back pain has gone from bad to worse. What scares me the most is that it is right in the middle of my back which makes me wonder if the baby is facing the wrong way. I'm okay if I sit or lay down, but walking is a real challenge. Sometimes I can't walk without holding on to something for support. Not good. I swore I wouldn't waddle, but waddling is my only option at times.I officially feel as big as a house and have this feeling of not knowing what to do with myself. I can't remember anything unless I write it down, so I'll get up to do something and then wonder what it was I was going to do. I'm also trying to drink a gallon of water a day so I pretty much live in the bathroom. When we did our tour of the hospital the labor and delivery nurse told us that drinking that much water really makes a difference during labor. She didn't say what kind of difference it would make, but I'm guessing it's a good thing. If you've never done it before, I challenge you to drink a gallon of water. It is not easy and you'll need to start early. You have to be real intentional about drinking throughout the day if you're really going to drink that much water.Yesterday a few friends came over. One of them scrubbed my bathrooms and dusted my bedroom (we have cats and hardwood floors, so it was a yucky job) while the other one occupied her kids. It was SUCH A BLESSING. I cannot clean my bathrooms at this point and they were getting yucky. Plus, this friend used to clean houses for a living so she does a phenominal job. She spent more time in my bathrooms cleaning them in one day than I probably have the entire time we've lived in this house. God is good to us and just continues to take care of our every need.I'm scheduled to go to the doctor on Friday, but I would love love love to go into labor before then. I'm sure we will have the induction talk again if I don't go into labor before then. I DO NOT want to be induced, so please join me in praying that my body does what it's supposed to do before the doctors lose patience with me. Thanks!

I just have to say...

...THANK YOU for all the encouragement these last few weeks. So many of you have left comments of prayers being said, praise to our awesome God, and encouragement. You all rock.

I am not good at leaving comments on other peoples' blogs. I'm not a chatty gal in general, so I guess that gets extended to blog comments. So, if you are a reader and not a commenter, no worries. I totally understand!

I also just have to say that I have a whole lot of peace going on right now and I know that is coming from God - not me! Things are going from crazy to insane here at our house and God just keeps filling me with peace. For example: There are ground cookies in the rug in my living room that have been there since Wednesday. And I'm okay with the fact that I haven't gotten to it yet. Yes, I think it is gross and I'm thankful that no bugs have figured it out yet, but I just haven't been able to take care of it yet. Maybe today.

I actually went a number of hours yesterday without checking email. I had friends over, but they are the kind of friends I could check my email around. And I didn't even think to do it. That is God.

My mom is coming for a visit on Thursday and usually I would freakishly be cleaning and getting ready for that. But I'm not. And I don't know if I will. If you think to, please be praying for her tomorrow and Thursday as she travels. She's driving in from Michigan and is splitting the trip between two days. She has struggled with blood clots in the past, so please also pray that her legs do okay during the drive and that she remembers to stop often and walk. On a happy note, she is bringing Arabic food with her, which is my favorite and something I cannot find here in VA. She was up nearly all night on Sunday making grape leaves and she's bringing other yummies, too.

Okay, that turned into a much longer post than I intended. I mainly just wanted to say thank you for the prayers and encouragement.

Monday

No news today. But honestly, I wasn't expecting to hear anything today. We'll see what Tuesday brings. God's timing is perfect.

Sick

Last week I started not feeling well with a stuffy nose and sore throat when I woke up. I thought the stuffy nose was just pregnancy related, but when I started coughing junk up on Thursday I knew it was more than that. So, it's official. I have a cold. A friggin' cold at 38 weeks pregnant. I coughed enough last night that Papa Bear spent part of the night on the couch. I made the doctor aware of the cold on Friday and she gave me some options, one of which is antibiotics. I didn't feel that sick at the time and I really don't want to take antibiotics. I also don't want to be coughing up a lung during labor. Please pray that I begin to feel better. I would really like to go into labor, but I'd also really like to be feeling better first. Thanks.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Okay, that was a good Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I just sent an email requesting our visa appointment in Haiti. OH MY GOSH. I've been told that I may receive a stock reply and that I may need to call them next week, but I cannot believe we are at this point. OH MY GOSH.

Freakish checking of the email should begin on Monday morning.

Please pray for favor as we move into this LAST STEP.

OH. MY. GOSH.

**I received the stock reply that I was told about. It tells me to allow three working days before expecting a response as well as what to do if I don't get a response in that time frame. That means I'll freakishly be checking email Monday-Wednesday! Let's pray I hear from them sooner than Wednesday!**

I-600 Approved

I called Haiti just a little while ago and confirmed that our passports were presented and our I-600 file was approved. The I-600 is also known as the "orphan investigation." It's expensive paperwork that is used to determine that we are adopting orphans. The US is very particular about the definition of an orphan, so this paperwork is a big deal for the US side of things.

Next is visas. I'm not clear on what exactly needs to happen leading up to the visas being issued. I've emailed our adoption coordinator asking for clarification, so I'll post what I learn when I learn it.

We are pumped. We are literally at the VERY LAST STEP in this very long adoption process. We couldn't be happier!

Please continue to pray with us that our visas are issued before our fingerprints expire on 8/23.

Today's Appointment

Well, we had an appointment this morning and here's what we learned:
We had an ultrasound to be sure the baby is head down. He is. He has a big head.
In fact, the whole baby is big. Like at least 8 lbs big. I'm not excited about that.
I have not dilated any more. In fact this doctor called it a half a centimeter. I'm not excited about that either.
They recommend induction next week if I don't go into labor on my own. I'm not excited about that.
We discussed that induction can lead to c-section. Trying to deliver a great big baby can also lead to c-section. I don't want a c-section so I asked what she though would lead to c-section more - trying to deliver a big baby (as in waiting and not inducing and possibly going 40 weeks) or being induced. She said the statistics at this point would be about the same.
I was told to walk a lot and have sex a lot. I asked about castor oil and she gave me the go ahead but said it would make me feel bad. Since I'm already feeling miserable, I'll just add to it with some castor oil. After the appointment we went to Walmart and the mall and walked a ton. We also bought a new homecoming outfit for the baby since he will probably be too big for newborn clothes (which is what the first homecoming outfit is). Walking wouldn't be so bad if every. single. step. didn't hurt so much. I'm having bad sciatic nerve pain with every step. We still need to hit a health food store for the castor oil.
That's it for now.

Ready

Okay, I've reached the point in this pregnancy where I'm ready to have this baby. Yesterday I began to have some discomfort in my back. It has grown into horrible pain when I walk. I'm pretty sure it is sciatica. It only hurts when I walk, but oh yeah - I'm supposed to be walking a bunch. I'm not going to whine, though, because a lot of women deal with this through much of their pregnancy and if I only have to suffer for the last month, well that's okay with me. I just hate having limited mobility. I've got things to do, people to see! So, I'm ready. I'm totally fine with this baby coming any time now.

Great News!

I woke up to great news this morning!! The other passport has been printed!! Yay God!!

Of course, this news comes with a bit of a hitch. It just wouldn't be our adoption if it didn't.

According to our facilitator, beginning this week you have to keep your fingerprints current until the visas are issued. Our fingerprints expire on 8/23. I'm waiting to hear back on how likely it is to get our visas within the next four weeks.

Getting our fingerprints updated won't be a problem. We've done it before. The problem is in getting the updated fingerprints communicated to the right office in Haiti. It took me 2 months earlier this year to get our current updated fingerprints communicated to the right office in Haiti.

So, this is where you come in. We beg you for your prayers. Please join us in praying that our visas our issued before our fingerprints expire. God can totally do it.

I'll keep you updated on what I hear. Something to think about: If our fingerprints don't become a problem, our boys will be home in a month. WOW!!

One Centimeter

Just got back from the Dr. Everything is good. My Strep B test came back negative, so I will not need antibiotics during labor. Hooray for that. The Dr. also said that I'm one centimeter dilated and that the baby is at -2 station. She said she could feel his head. It's unlikely we'll be having the baby this week. We'll see what next Friday's appointment brings.

Need a Little Patience...

Yeah, that's a great Guns N' Roses song - and it totally describes what I need when it comes to this second passport.

Getting the news of one passport was a high and a low all at once. It's progress with no forward movement. I've rode out the high as long as I could, and now I'm feeling the low of waiting for the other passport. I check our family page what seems like a zillion times a day, just hoping that this time there will be good news. Sometimes this time is only five minutes since last time. Sometimes I get up in the wee hours of the morning to check since the person who does our updates is 3 hours behind us and may have posted information after I went to bed. I'm a little neurotic about it, I guess.

I was surprised when we were told that passports take up to two weeks because that seemed like such a short timeframe. Well, we are past week three on this second passport. I should have known better than to expect them both in two weeks time, but I did.

And then there's a part of me that thinks, "See - you shouldn't have gotten their room ready. It was bad luck." Not that I believe in luck... but maybe Murphy's Law.

Don't misread me - we are still moving forward as if they are coming home soon. Baby gates are in the process of being installed. The minivan is getting a good cleaning and then I will take it to the fire department to have car seats installed. We are building a wall, hopefully this weekend, between our dining room and office so that little hands can't get into a bunch of books and papers and so that Chuck can work from home without little people trying to help him.

In the grand scheme of things we are very close to having our sons home and we know that. I know that many of you who read this are still what seems like light years away from bringing your kids home. And believe me, I understand. Our process has been longer than long and we are just hoping the end of it doesn't get long and drawn out, too. We still have some hoops to jump through and we are tired, but we will make it. So much of the waiting and longing and crying has all been so surreal. It's like watching a movie and then realizing that it's your reality. I sometimes wonder how we've made it this far and the truth is that God has carried us. He has sustained us this long, and I know He'll bring us through to the end.

So, with what patience I can muster, I'll keep clinging to God and checking for news.

Update

I haven't posted in a while, so I guess I'm due for an update on the ole blog.My carpal tunnel has gone from bad to miserable. There were a few ways I could move my arm before to make the pain stop, and now nothing works. When it hurts it just hurts and it hurts BAD . It usually does this sometime between 3:30 and 5:30 a.m. No fun. On Friday I asked my doctor if she could recommend anything to ease the pain and she said, "Have a baby." Cool. I'll get right on that.Most women complain of not being able to sleep in the last month of pregnancy because of how uncomfortable their whole body is. I would have absolutely NO problem sleeping if it wasn't for this carpal tunnel crap. Yes, I'd be up to pee every hour, but I'd go back to sleep.At my Dr. visit Friday, after measuring my belly, the doctor said, "It's safe to say you'll have a fairly decent size baby." I was really hoping for a small baby. Like in the 6-7 lb range. This Wednesday marks the 37 week mark, which is when a baby is considered full term (don't pay attention to my Baby Gaga counter - it doesn't register that we are in a leap year). On Wednesday I plan to go to my friend's house and jump on her trampoline. A nurse at church told me she did this during her first pregnancy and delivered a week after jumping on a trampoline AND three weeks early. I'm all about having this baby well before the due date. I've decided that God makes the last month of pregnancy so miserable that you don't care what you have to go through to stop being pregnant. I'm there. Maybe I wouldn't feel this way if it wasn't so hot, but it's July. And I live in the South. And I don't like to sweat.That's all for now. I go to the Dr. again on Friday. I'm assuming they'll do a pelvic exam and I'm hoping to hear I'm at least a cm or 2 dilated. That would be great news.

We've Been Busy

We've had a busy day here at our house as we've worked to get the boys' room ready. We still have one wall to decorate, and we're not sure what we'll do. We bought all kinds of appliques and for some reason they will not stick to the walls. So, we used them on the closet doors and dresser instead. I nearly cried when we made the beds. I just can't wait to tuck them in!

'

We've put our futon in their room so that we can be in the room with them (comfortably!) if they need us close by. We aren't too keen on having kids and blowout diapers in our bed.

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I've been going through some crazy nesting this week. I have organized drawers, closets, vanities, and clothing. I'm beyond tired right now, but so pleased with all we've accomplished this weekend.

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I pray that it is very soon that these two little guys come and turn my neat, quiet, organized world upside down. I'm sooooooooooo looking forward to that!

One Down, One to Go

Good news - one of the boys' passports has been printed! It's not at all uncommon for one passport to be printed before the other, even if they were submitted at the same time. We are so thankful to God for this news. Please join us in praying that the other passport is not far behind. Thanks!

A Guarded Heart

Today is the two week mark since we got out of MOI. We were told that passport printing could take up to two weeks, and here we are. Now, it is very possible that the passports are indeed printed and we just haven't heard that yet. Sometimes communication from Haiti can take time. Or, the passports aren't printed yet. God knows and I'm leaving that in His hands this morning.

The next and final step is getting the boys their visas. All the paperwork that we need to submit for that has been in Haiti for a week now. Some people are getting visas very quickly and others have waited months. We have no idea how quickly or slowly this will go for us, though it seems that (some) families who filed their I-600 in Haiti (which we did) are waiting less time.

So, we could be very close to bringing the boys home. And I can't seem to wrap my mind around that. You'd think I'd be jumping up and down, but it's more like I'm holding my breath. I have this desire to get their beds made and stock the cupboards with kid friendly foods and put up baby gates (that I hope they'll respect) and put the safety locks on the kitchen cupboards, but I can't help but guard my heart from disappointment and the way I do this is to not get things ready. I've gotten things ready before. We had a whole nursery ready over a year ago when we got out of IBESR. I've bought tons of diapers, only to give them away.

I honestly don't know how I'll respond when it is finally time to go get them. I had a dream last week that we were called and told that they had our visas and we could book our flights. The feeling I had in my dream was indescribable. I immediately picked up the phone to call American Airlines, but then decided I needed to talk to Chuck first. It was like I didn't know what to do because I was so excited and shocked.

A lot of kids from our orphanage have gone home recently and it sounds like several more are heading home this week. So, there is definitely some movement going on. Many of the kids who've gone home or who are slated to go home were quite a ways behind us in process. While I'm thrilled that they are home with their forever families, it still hurts knowing that my boys are still sitting in an orphanage, their homecoming long overdue.

And so I wait - wait for news on the passports - and wait on getting things ready here at home.

What Has Happened to Viva??!!

There are not many things I splurge on in life. I'm rather cheap and I don't mind buying generic or store brand for the most part. However, I am a total paper towel snob. I pay top dollar for Viva. Back when I was into shopping with coupons I'd buy Viva even if I didn't have a coupon. Back when the commissary (military grocery store) didn't carry Select-a-Size Viva, I bought the full sheets even though I prefer the select a size.

I say all this because I'm so disappointed right now. I'm on my second role of linty Viva. Out of nowhere my beloved Viva has started leaving lint on everything. I can't deal with that. Is this a fluke or are others experiencing it??

If the madness doesn't stop with my next roll, I'm going to have to go to Bounty, which has always taken 2nd place to my Viva.

Sorry to get all dramatic over paper towel, but I just can't believe this is happening!

Food Help, Please...

As we draw closer to bringing the boys home, we find ourselves trying to prepare in more and more ways.

One of the ways we are trying to prepare is in the food department. Since we don't have kids, we have no idea what to feed them! So, I'd like to use this post as a sounding board from all of you out there - what do you feed a 2 1/2 year old. And if you've brought one home from Haiti, is there anything specific I should know when it comes to food?

Please, please, please share your ideas. I need ideas for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It is my hope that we can come to a place where the boys eat what we eat for dinner, but I know that will take time.

I thank you in advance for helping us out!

Alicia Needs Your Prayers

Last summer Chuck and I had the pleasure of getting to know Alicia, who is the sister of some of our good friends. Alicia would come with them to small group each week and was really digging into what it means to have a relationship with Jesus. We loved her great questions and her wild stories. She was a lot of fun to be with and we were all sad when she went back to Tennessee.

Last night Alicia was shot in the wrist and in the chest. She is in stable condition right now, but has a bullet lodged next to her spine. At some point, surgery will be performed, and we are asking you to pray that she would come through it completely okay.

I'm honestly not sure if she truly knows Jesus. I'm so thankful that her life was spared last night. I ask that you also pray that she would come to know Jesus through all of this if she doesn't already. She has experienced some really hard things in life, and this just adds to the list. I'm praying that God's love would really be evident to her during this time.

And if you think of it, please pray for her family as well. As you can imagine, this is really hard for them. Our friends and their 3 boys are driving to TN tomorrow to be with her.

Thanks.

June Photos

Noah

Samuel (on the nanny's lap)
Noah (in the left bottom corner)

I have to say, the picture of Samuel disturbs me. He is obviously unhappy. I just wonder what is going through his little mind.

Soon, buddy, soon.

Do You Want to Laugh??

I recently was directed to a fantastic blog and I really think you are missing out if you haven't read it yet. It's called "Stuff Christians Like." I promise that at some point you will read something that makes you pee in your pants (unless you are into daily kegel exercises - only then are you safe).

Here's the link: http://stufffchristianslike.blogspot.com/

Now, I will give a disclaimer. If you are super churchy, you will probably be offended. And I think it's a good thing for super churchy people to be offended, so please read it anyway.

Poor Air Quality

There is a fire burning in North Carolina, about an hour south of where we live. The fire is burning peat moss in the ground, and until we get tropical storm force rain, the fire will continue to burn. This has caused a lot of smoke in our area here in Virginia. Sometimes the smoke is so strong that visibility is poor, depending on how the wind is blowing.

**Update**
This morning I learned that the smoke we're experiencing is actually from a fire burning here in Virginia in The Great Dismal Swamp (sounds spooky, doesn't it?). So, the fire is burning a lot closer than I thought, though we are not in any danger. The NC fire is also still burning, but apparently our current smoky air is not from that fire.

Most people complain about it. It's a common topic of discussion. Asthma sufferers need to stay indoors. The smell of smoke is sometimes so strong that it can be smelled inside our house.

And Chuck and I LOVE it. We love it because it smells like Haiti. Not only does it smell like Haiti, but since it's been like a bajillion degrees out with nearly 100% humidity, it FEELS like Haiti, too. While others are holing themselves up in their houses to get away from the acrid smell, Chuck and I make some smoothies and sit on our screened porch and sweat and think about Haiti.

Seriously, when I'm outside with the heat beating down on me and the smoky air surrounding me, I smile.

Gosh, I love Haiti.

6 Word Meme

I got tagged by Ginny to do a 6 word meme. I don't know what a meme is and apparently Webster doesn't either because it's not in the dictionary. In Ginny's post it says something about summing up my life in 6 words, so I'm going with that idea.

Here are the rules I was given:
1. Write your own six word memoir.
2. Post it to your blog including a visual illustration if you would like.
3. Link to the person who tagged you in your post.
4. Tag 5 more blogs with links.
5. Don’t forget to leave a comment in the tagged blogs with an invitation to play.

So, my 6 words are: LIVING A LIFE I DON'T DESERVE.

Okay, so I realize some of you may disagree or think I have too hard of an outlook on things and that's fine for you. I'm not posting this for a theological debate, rather this is the truth that I live by.

Until I was 22 I lived the most selfish and self-centered life I possibly could. Everything was about me and if you got in the way of that, watch out!

At 22 I was introduced to the idea that maybe my drinking was a problem, so with some help, I quit. At 24 I was introduced to Jesus in a way that I could understand and made the decision to follow Him. I don't do it gracefully and I mess up a lot, but my whole life is different now in such a good way.

The Bible talks about sin and the repercussions for sin. I sinned a whole lot before I knew Jesus and I still do. The difference now is that when God sees me, He sees Jesus standing in for me. And Jesus was perfect - He did not ever sin. That means that God sees me free of sin. Pretty cool if you ask me.

I have no doubt that all of the goodness in my life today is a direct result of a relationship with Jesus. Yes, sometimes I'm a better person than I used to be, but not always. I still mess up and make mistakes. But God keeps pouring out His wonderful blessings on me. And you know what? I just don't deserve it. I don't. God has blessed me and my family and taken care of me and my family in such loving, tender ways. He meets my needs. He brings me comfort during sorrow. He has made so very many wonderful promises to me and He has and will fulfill them. I have done nothing close to deserving His favor, yet He pours it out on me.

So that's my 6 word meme, whatever the heck a meme is!

And I'm a rule breaker when it comes to these things... So I'm not tagging anyone. I would challenge you to think of your own 6 word memoir and blog about it, though!

Things Are Coming Together

Things are really coming together for us around here.Lately I've been given a lot of hand me down clothing and baby equipment and it has truly been a blessing. Thank you to everyone who has given us stuff!Yesterday we got an infant car seat, and now I feel really relieved. They won't let you leave the hospital without one, so now I feel like we can really have this baby.Tonight a friend offered me her boppy, bumbo, and breast pump. Such blessings!!I'm getting more and more excited and nervous about meeting Tristan.We are also getting really close to the homecoming of our adopted children, and we are just about ready for them, too.We've been busy around here, but it's a good kind of busy. I have a doctor's appointment in the morning and I'll post if we learn anything interesting.

OH MY GOSH!!

It happened, it really happened!

We received MOI approval yesterday!

We are in shock. They are coming home soon!

How soon you ask? My best estimate would be at least a month, more if we run into any problems.

Oh, thank you, Jesus!!

God is being truly hilarious in the timing of all this. I can't go into detail now, but I will when I can. Our God is an awesome God and a very funny God, too!

Huge Bummer

It didn't work out for Chuck's parents to stay in Virginia, so they are heading back to California.

We are, of course, totally bummed by this.

If you could, please keep Ron and Suzy in your prayers as they travel back to CA. And pray for us, especially Chuck. We were so excited to have them here and have grandparents close by for our boys.

Thanks.

Sorrow

Our adoption journey has been a long, winding journey that has spanned 3 years. In May of 2005 God spoke to Chuck and I about adoption. Shortly after we opened our hearts to that idea, we were told of a baby that had been born at a mission in Haiti who needed a family. Chuck and I of course didn't think much of it at the time, but that all changed a few months later.

In July I went to Haiti, specifically to that mission. Three months earlier we had gone through a miscarriage and my heart still hurt deeply. While I was in Haiti I met baby Jabez and God used him to minister to my broken heart and to speak clearly to me about adopting from Haiti. I came home from Haiti knowing that we were to adopt from Haiti and that the time was now.

We waited to find out what would happen to baby Jabez. We needed to wait for him to be placed in an orphanage so that we could align ourselves with that orphanage. To make a long story short, Jabez was never placed in an orphanage that would adopt out children to the US and eventually the missionaries who were present from the day of his birth decided that they would pursue adopting him.

We were sad, but also happy that all along he'd been with the people who would be adopting him. The day after the Lord closed the door on Jabez for us, we received the referral for the twins.

I have kept contact with Jabez's parents, who serve in Jacmel, Haiti. I have watched him grow up in pictures and videos. He has a very special place in my heart. God brought me such healing through him during a very hard time and he is what led us to our beautiful sons.

Jabez's path has not been easy. The circumstances surrounding his birth were tough and left him with some special needs. He has struggled with illness repeatedly.

This afternoon I went to the blog that his parents, Danny and Leann, keep and learned that Jabez passed away this morning. I'm shocked and sad. I'm also so happy that he is now with Jesus and no longer has special needs or health problems.

Please lift up Danny and Leann, as well as all the kids and staff at the children's home that they run. Jabez was a very special part of their lives and I can't imagine their grief right now.

Waiting...

...for our monthly pictures.

...to hear we are out of MOI. I'm going to step out on an emotional limb and say that I really feel like we will be out soon. I feel the same sense of anticipation that I felt in the days leading up to learning we were out of IBESR.

Hopefully I will post good news and pictures SOON!!

Ouch!!

For three nights now I've woken up in the middle of the night to terrible pain in my right hand, wrist, and arm. I'm quite positive that it's pregnancy induced carpal tunnel syndrome. I've been treated for minor CTS in the past, but I've never experienced the numbness and pain like I am now. It is agonizing and nothing I've tried so far (other than praying) has eased the pain. I'm fine when I'm up and awake. I have some numbness and tingling, but not anything like what I experience at night.A year or so ago I gave away the splints that I got back when I was treated for CTS. Today I asked the person I gave them to if I could borrow them for a few months since she's not using them.Of course I'll talk to the doctor at my next appointment, which is Wednesday. If any of you have any suggestions for me, please post them in the comments section. I'll try anything!

Garden Update

Today Chuck weeded the garden for me. He is awesome. It was like 100 degrees out and the garden was infested with weeds. He is such a good husband!

He came in to tell me that we had some red tomatoes. Sure enough, there were 3 red cherry tomatoes. I picked them, washed them, and then coaxed Chuck into eating one. Chuck hates tomatoes. He says they taste like fart. I don't even know why he knows what farts taste like, but that's his deal. Anyway, he said, "It's the best tomato I've ever had."

7 out of 8 pepper plants have peppers growing on them. The cucumber plants have really taken off, but I don't see any cucumbers yet.

So, apparently my black thumb isn't so bad after all!

Bonus Pictures

Gotta love it when you get a few bonus pictures...

Both are of Noah. Samuel was sleeping.

Prayers for Friends

Update: Little Chloe Elise was born last night at 8:36 p.m. Mom and baby are both doing well. Thanks for praying for them!


If you could, please say a pray for Carrie and Jason today.

Carrie is pregnant and being induced, so hopefully they will have a baby very soon!

Induction is definitely not something I'd want, so I'm saying a special prayer that it goes really well for her.

Thanks!

Well, it's been a while...

Wow, it's been a long time since I've posted. Sorry about that.I've entered the dreaded third trimester since my last post. All was well until last weekend. I don't think I did anything other than grow bigger, but it apparently put some bad strain on my lower back. I was pretty miserable Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. It also feels as though someone is doing something horrible to my hips. This last week has been one full of aching and whining.There has been good stuff, too. So far I've gained 2o lbs and my doctors are happy about that. I really thought I'd be one of those people who pack on the pounds pregnant. I guess I am not (so far anyway). Don't get me wrong - I'm fat, but I started out that way. It wasn't brought on by pregnancy. Also, I had the glucose test done again at 27 weeks and passed. So, no gestational diabetes for me! I've also not had much swelling yet. I have near cankles right now, but not full blown cankles and they will go down as soon as I put my feet up.Tristan is still moving around a lot, but it feels very different now. Kind of like he's running out of space. Rather than the flips and jumps he was doing a few weeks ago, he now seems to drag body parts across my uterus. I still get kicked, too. I'm still sleeping pretty well, for the most part. I'm not at all looking forward to diminished sleep. That's all that's new in my pregnant world. I'll try to post a little more frequently.

Tagged

I got tagged a couple of days ago for this questionaire. Of course I procrastinated (see bad habit question...). I was tagged by Chapter 2 Manmi. She and her husband recently brought their three children home from Haiti after a very looooong wait. Their story gives me hope that our boys really will come home.

1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.

2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.

3. At the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read the player’s blog.

4. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.

What were you doing 5 years ago?
At the end of May 2003 Chuck and I were moving from one apartment in Virginia Beach to another. I was still enrolled in college, just beginning the summer semester, which was grueling. Chuck and I began marriage counseling that month as well and it literally saved our marriage. Our marriage counselor then is still a friend today and we totally give him and God all the credit that we are still married and happy.

What are 5 things on your to-do list for today?
Meet with my friend Nicole. Meet with my friend Amanda. Go to a doctor's appointment. Look into some classes. Have dinner with family.

What are 5 snacks you enjoy?
Tortilla chips and Queso. Icecream. Really good milk chocolate. Sour patch kids. Spinach Dip.

What 5 things would you do if you were a billionaire?
Move us into a slightly bigger house in a slightly better school district. Give all my family some money so they could live comfortably and not have to worry about retirement. Get involved with some reputable organizations in Haiti. Give more in all areas of my life. Travel a lot.

What are 5 of your bad habits?
Being late. Procrastination. Hitting the snooze button. Leaving hangers on the bedroom door handle (this drives Chuck crazy, mainly because it gives the cats something to make noise with). Peeling my nails.

What are 5 places you have lived?
Skandia, MI. Redford, MI. Dearborn Heights, MI. Morehead City, NC. Portsmouth, VA.

What are 5 jobs you have had?
McDonald's. Sub and salad maker at a pizzeria. Bank teller. Server. Administrative Assistant.

What 5 people do you want to tag?
Here's where I break the rules. If you are reading this and haven't done this one yet, go do it!

Thanks, Chapter 2 Manmi, for inviting me to participate!

Praise the Lord X2!

Today was a day of good news!

This afternoon I was able to confirm that the USCIS office in Port au Prince has received our updated fingerprints from the National Visa Center. Yeah!! Now, we need to get the boys home before August 23rd or we will have to redo the fingerprints. Redoing the fingerprints is not hard (but it does cost money). Getting it communicated to Haiti seems to be the hard part.

I also received an update today that our long form at MOI has been filled out. I really don't know how much longer to expect to be in MOI now that the long form is filled out, but at least we are moving along.

Oh, happy day!

Expired Puffs

When I was in Haiti last August a nightmare came true. My luggage didn't make it. I arrived on Monday and my luggage arrived late Thursday. I went home Friday. I truly learned how God provides on that trip! People were so generous.

Well, on Thursday night when I got my luggage I began distributing diapers and wipes and food items that I had brought for the boys, but didn't get to use. Among those items was a container of strawberry apple puffs. If you have toddlers, you probably know what I'm talking about. If not, it's a toddler food put out by Gerber. My boys love them.

Well, that night I was able to give everything away but the puffs. No one wanted them. As I sat at the dinner table with our group, I looked at the expiration date and exclaimed that surely our boys would be home before April 30, 2008 to eat them. The strangest thing happened then. The director of the orphanage heard what I said, looked at me, but made no comment. It struck me as odd then and I wonder now; did she know? Did she know they wouldn't come home by that date? I don't know. I certainly never imagined that my boys would still be in Haiti 9 months later. At that time we were supposedly awaiting judgment, but the following month we learned that we had never exited Parquet as we'd been told months earlier.

As I got ready to toss these puffs in the trash (as I've done with lots of other food) I remembered how certain I was that my boys would be home to eat them and they are not. Sometimes I just can't fathom that this is reality.

As I spent time quietly with God today I was reminded that my eyes need to stay focused on Him. It is easy for my eyes to wander toward the evil that surrounds this adoption. I sometimes stare it in the face and wonder how it is so. I become obsessed by it with such a strong desire to set right the wrongs. But the Lord has quietly shown me that it is His job to bring justice. And He will. We all have to account for our sins. Judgment day is real. I will have to face the Lord for the things I've done and so will those who have had a hand in the evil surrounding our adoption, whoever they are. God has allowed it, but He will deliver justice. So, tonight I choose to keep my eyes focused on Him. I will throw away the puffs and with it my anger and desire to focus on the evil.

May Photos and Updates

Elie (Samuel) is 32.75in. He sucks continually on his thumb. He talks but not clear enough to be understood. He is a very happy boy, outgoing and independent. He loves his brother dearly.

Elisée (Noah) sucks on his second finger. He hangs out with his brother more than he does with the others. He always intends to be escaping the nannies by going on the other side of the room. He is 33in.

'

Getting monthly update photos is always thrilling and sad at the same time. I love to see their little faces, but I hate to see them growing up more and more each month. This month we also got a quarterly update. If they looked a little more closely they'd see that Samuel wraps his thumb around his first finger and sucks on both. I often wonder if they hang out with each other and it does my heart good to hear that they love to be with one another.

'

Oh Lord, soon, please?

Two Years Ago Today

Two years ago today Chuck and I celebrated the arrival of our dossier (adoption paperwork) in Haiti. The timeline then was 8-15 months. We naively hoped for Christmas.

It had taken us 6 months to compile the dossier and we had committed to the boys in January, 4 months earlier. In case you're not into math, we started our paperwork 30 months ago, committed to the boys 28 months ago, and sent our dossier to Haiti 24 months ago.

My, oh my, what a long time ago that all was.

From my estimation, our best case scenario (unless, of course, God does something miraculous) is mid-August. I've gotten to the point that when people ask how much longer I don't even give them best case/worst case scenarios anymore.

Rather depressing, isn't it?

Yesterday...

First of all, thank you for the sweet comments left on my blog. You all inspire me and lift me up. (Well, most of you anyway. Some comments just don't get published and that's the truth.)

Anyway, yesterday was great! Church was good. Tear down (remember, we meet in a high school) was quick. We took Chuck's parents out to lunch at Chili's and I got to have one of my favorite salads. This is the first Mother's Day in years that we've actually spent with one of our Moms.

Chuck got me flowers and a new Dustbuster (I asked for it, really! And I'm super excited about it, too.) (My old one was literally taped together.) and an iTunes gift card.

I took a looooooooooong nap. It was rainy yesterday so it was perfect napping weather. Gracie, my favorite cat, totally snuggled with me for the entire nap. Even when I woke up she wasn't ready to quit snuggling. I love that!

And best of all - the Survivor season finale was on last night. I'm still in shock that Parvati won.

All in all, it was a great day. Not once was I sucked into self pity. Yay!

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to my mom and Chuck's mom and to all the moms out there that I know.

I pray that today was a wonderful day for you!

And for those of us waiting moms, I pray that you were blessed in a special way today and that this is the last Mother's Day you spend waiting.

Love,
Juli

A Mother's Love...

Mother's Day 2005 was hard for me because I had miscarried a month before.
Mother's Day 2006 was hard because we had committed to Noah and Samuel.
Mother's Day 2007 was rough because I never imagined my boys wouldn't be home by then.
As Mother's Day 2008 approaches, my thoughts swirl. This is what a mother's love is according to me, a mom whose waited far too long.

A Mother's Love...
...prays for her kids in an orphanage
...prays for her arms to supernaturally hold her kids and that they'd feel it
...prays for God to whisper her voice in their ears
...prays for overworked and underpaid nannies to meet the needs of her boys
...smiles wide when thinking of her boys
...tears up just thinking of the day they come home
...asks tough questions
...keeps important paperwork up to date
...spends a day tracking down her home study provider
...empties the closet of clothing the boys have outgrown (repeatedly)
...makes the beds, even though she knows they will get dusty and need to be redone
...buys food on sale and then gives it away when it is close to expiring
...buys diapers and gives them away when they are outgrown
...devotes a cupboard to kids dishes that go unused
...continues to encourage friends and family when they are discouraged about the adoption
...quietly listens when some friends and family give up on the kids ever coming home
...prays in the middle of the night when she can't sleep and wonders if her boys are okay
...seeks out the best doctors for her kids
...reads book after book and attends seminar after seminar
...sometimes needs to stay in bed for the day instead of face the world
...calls the National Visa Center and the USCIS in Haiti repeatedly trying to confirm receipt of fingerprints
...washes, folds, and hangs new clothing, praying that they won't be outgrown before they are worn
...checks email diligently
...reads blogs of other adoptive families
...learns to seek the Lord like never before

It's my hope that some of these things will be a distant memory next Mother's Day. And I hope some will be even stronger.

I pray that tomorrow will be a day that I'll glorify God in the wait.

Vietnam

Chuck is spending 9 days this month in Vietnam. I won't tell you which 9 days since this is a public site. Anyway, I'd just ask that you pray for him and his team - for safe travels, good health, and that they are able to do the work they are planning to do. For Chuck specifically, please pray that he'd be able to sleep (he consistently struggles with sleep) and that this trip would be a refreshing time for him with God.

Amazingly our church has been invited by the Vietnamese government to do various projects. It has been amazing to see how God has orchestrated it all. Again, can't really share details as this is a public site.

On a completely different subject, I'd like to ask for prayer for Vietnamese adoptions. Vietnam is scheduled to close (which means we in the US can't adopt from there) in September. This used to be one of the most stable adoption programs out there. There are many families waiting to bring home children who are completely caught up in red tape by our government. I ask you to pray that the Lord would release those children to come home to their families. Chuck and I have friends from our adoption support group who are waiting. Thier son should have been home in February and they have no idea when he will come home. Please keep the Vietnam adoption program in your prayers and let's pray that God can move mountains so that it doesn't shut down in September.

Exciting Stuff

Yesterday we finally joined the 21st century and got a dishwasher. Hooray!! We actually bought the dishwasher before we moved into this house back in November, but we had to cut out cabinets to install it so we stalled for a while. Tuesday night Chuck and our friend Josh cut the cabinets out and took care of the electricity. Yesterday Chuck finished the plumbing and VOILA I never have to hand wash a dish again unless I want to.

Next on the list: Finishing work on kitchen cabinets that were cut (any takers??). Then we can start thinking about updating the bathroom. We need to remove wallpaper, paint, and replace the vanity and light fixture.

Welcome to the Neighborhood!

In just a few short hours we will get some new neighbors (as in 10-15 minutes away) - Chuck's parents!! They've been driving for nearly a week and they are finally in Virginia.

Welcome to Chesapeake, Ron and Suzy!!

Chuck and I are really excited to officially now have family that lives less than 12 hours away! In all our years of marriage we've never lived closer than a 12 hour drive to family. This is a new experience for us!

A Lonely Place

It is my goal to write this post from a graceful heart, even though my heart hurts.

In the last few weeks there have been a few areas of my life that have really brought me to a lonely place. I'm not going to be specific, so if you're looking for juicy information, it's not here.

In seeking God's face in these areas, I've come to a few realizations. One is that sometimes, but definitely not all the time, well-meaning people do and say things that hurt. They are just "looking out for me" so they tell me how it really is. I know that I have been that well-meaning person to others plenty of times.

Others choose to "preach." They put their opinions and beliefs out publicly and question why some would choose another path.

Sometimes it feels like judgment. And God has shown me that I, too, judge others. For me, it is mostly kept in my head and I am responsible to God even if those thoughts never exit my mouth.

What I've found lately is that when I don't do what "everyone else" is doing, I get lots of well-meaning comments or outright judgment. What's hard in these recent areas of my life is that I've really sought God in them and feel that He is the One leading me in the direction I'm heading.

My pride wants me to keep everyone happy so that everyone will like me. Well, the truth is not everyone likes me even when I keep them happy. I need to be more concerned with what God thinks of me than what others think of me. And while I seek to do that, I find myself in a lonely place. As I choose His path I find fewer friends who are there for me along the way.

In this moment I feel lonely and discouraged, but I do know that this will pass. There are a few friends I can draw encouragement from as I walk the path God has for me. And of course I can draw on the strength, love, and encouragement of God. I know that as I seek to follow His will that I'm choosing the best thing, no matter how hard or lonely the path is.

We Are Okay

Just a quick post to share that we are okay. We had some crazy weather on Monday that brought tornadoes very close to where we live, but not close enough to harm us or our home. Thanks to everyone who's checked in on us. Please say some prayers for the families who lost everything. A lot of people were impacted. Thankfully, no one was killed.